Skier Remains Healthy Despite Best Efforts

Mount Snow, VT -- Against all odds, local skier Isaac Johnson has survived another day of skiing unscathed and completely healthy. Reports say that his body is lacking painful bruises and his toes are in fact not black and blue. "I really thought trying that 4 on to the big flat down would do it," said Johnson in disbelief as he unclipped his skis for the day. "And that unnatural 7 that came around? I definitely cheated death on that one."

Johnson reportedly left the hill noticeably unsettled by his general lack of injuries. "Well, I'll be back tomorrow and have another shot at completely destroying my body in its youthful state."

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