The following company and CEO has asked to remain anonymous
Park City, Utah -- An up and coming ski company has released details surrounding a new product launching next winter. The ski company has been working on a new billboard, specifically engineered for it’s professional riders to advertise their sponsors’ decals. The CEO of the company when asked about the product said:
“The billboards? Yeah they’re stiff, skinny and have edges, bases, all that shit. Nothing really new there. Most importantly though, the tops are simple enough for all of your sponsors to be clearly seen on. It’s exactly what the athletes want.”
The ski company is proud to have invested countless hours in formulating names for the technology being put into the boards. “All of this stuff has existed for a while, that’s why we spent extra time coming up with new names for it.” The billboards even feature “adhesive-tek” topsheets, optimal for “expressing your individuality through your favorite brand decals.”
"We decided to keep the billboards simple by not paying a graphic designer and instead just putting some swathes of color and a couple polygons on the tops. Hell, we could even just make an all black ski and people would lose their shit. And because of this method of design, we were able to pass on those savings to you, the customer, by charging the exact same price as our competitors."
The company also plans to develop an accompanying outerwear line, complete with patches of brands sewn onto them, much like in professional soccer. “It’s the future. Everyone in skiing is already a brand whore anyways right?” voiced the CEO.
Keep your eyes peeled for the new billboards being on podiums everywhere next winter.