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Getting over a break-up

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AgitatedHiatus
Posts: 319
My girlfriend of one year and I broke up last friday night. Our relationship was really good, it's just that we have different life goals and she's going into the army and wants to be stationed in different countries and stuff. So how do you guys cope with a break up? Can you guys still be friends afterwards? It was a pretty amicable break up and she was my bestfriend.
Feb 27 2017 1:29PM
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Dddsz
Posts: 3042
AgitatedHiatusshe's going into the army


Move on, single life is fun as fuck my dude. While she is in the desert fighting for our freedom (Oil) , you can do whatever you want.
Feb 27 2017 1:43PM
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swiggy
Posts: 104
SconnieMove on, single life is fun as fuck my dude. While she is in the desert fighting for our freedom (Oil) , you can do whatever you want.


Word. After two years there's gotta be fun things you haven't been able to do
Feb 27 2017 1:51PM
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swiggy
Posts: 104
swiggityWord. After two years

Fuck I mean one
Feb 27 2017 1:52PM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
nah cut everything off or you will just be stuck in the past
Feb 27 2017 1:55PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 1948
In short-

Cut off all contact with her

Do a bunch of fun shit that you haven't been able to while with her (fuck chicks you've had your eyes on, drugs, go out with your boys more, etc) to get your mind off that shitty initial stage

Start looking again
Feb 27 2017 1:56PM
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Titus69
Posts: 8710
The others are right, I stopped talking to my girlfriend pretty much once we split but obviously for a few weeks I still thought about her but moved on easily, mostly cause she's crazy now.

my best friend i think talks to his ex still of almost 2 years ago and it's not good for him but he doesn't know it. I've talked to others and we almost had to talk to him about it at one point because she wanted him to stop. Let her live her life I guess, seems like it wouldn't help her having the thought of you while overseas in the army.
Feb 27 2017 2:03PM
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doublecup
Posts: 946
forget that ho and move on
Feb 27 2017 2:35PM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057
If you really loved her I for sure wouldn't bother trying to make a friendship work. Never does.
Feb 27 2017 2:52PM
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Rparr
Posts: 3370
get real high son
Feb 27 2017 3:01PM
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robbinJAHood
Posts: 1202
Having a rebound helps
Feb 27 2017 3:56PM
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FishChowder
Posts: 242
What stopped you from staying with her and travelling the world with her?
Feb 27 2017 4:14PM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
robbinJAHoodHaving a rebound helps


i beg to differ, sex without love is kinda lame imo
Feb 27 2017 4:21PM
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robbinJAHood
Posts: 1202
coolflash8i beg to differ, sex without love is kinda lame imo


Doesn't have to be for sex. Even spending time with someone else and getting to know them is a good way to help you forget about the person that broke your heart
Feb 27 2017 5:54PM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
robbinJAHoodDoesn't have to be for sex. Even spending time with someone else and getting to know them is a good way to help you forget about the person that broke your heart


true!
Feb 27 2017 6:01PM
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edai
Posts: 4844
put your dick in something else; watermelon, apple pie, two sponges with a glove in between them in a cup, pudding
Feb 27 2017 6:17PM
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FishChowder
Posts: 242
edaiput your dick in something else; .... two sponges with a glove in between them in a cup, ...


That was awfully specific. Are you speaking from experience with what works best for you?
Feb 27 2017 6:34PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 1948
edaiput your dick in something else; watermelon, apple pie, two sponges with a glove in between them in a cup, pudding


i prefer grapefruit
Feb 27 2017 7:02PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5025
if it just works that way, and you both agree with it just continue being friends. You can always try and go after her later if need be.


i've never had a nice-ending relationship though, friends or otherwise, so that's not an experienced answer lol
Feb 27 2017 7:37PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 11661
Its a best case scenario dude. You guys can stay friends (give it time) and you got a warning.

Go ski go put down some of the best runs of your life. Thats how I got over everything in life.
Feb 27 2017 9:22PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4564
kick it with girls.

Still feel bad for a month or two or three.

keep kicking it with girls

by month 5. Life might still kind of feel a bit aimless, but shits ok.

continue kicking it with girls.

No longer have any memory of year long gf

now you probably got 1 girl kicking it...

Rinse, repeat.
Feb 27 2017 9:59PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12140
yes. you can be friends with her.

my now husband and I dated several times off-and-on when we were super young. we remained best friends throughout our adult lives and now we're married. why cut her friendship out of your life if you have love for her? keep those worth keeping close--regardless of their "status" in your life.
Feb 28 2017 2:21AM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
Well lemme tell yeah about pretty much the opposite of your situation. I just (well about a month ago now) broke off my most serious relationship yet, of about 4 years. Fuck I still think I might love her, she is a very amazing person, but god damn, does she ever have some baggage. And im not the most well adjusted person in the world either, so It was like, Idk, an alcoholic trying to help a coke addict to get over their life destroying addictions while they both smoke weed and cigs like chimney's because dammit they need some kind of vice (pretty accurate description of about a year of our relationship actually)

Let me just get a list out there now of my grievances; Cheated on me (ranges from being very very fucking flirty but just talking to staying a night over at their house telling me she was spending a night with a friend) with about..10 different guys during our relationship (several of them EXES! oh goody!). Made me quit fucking NS because she looked at my history and saw a "best GIF" thread that had partially nude asses in it. Made me feel like total shit, made me feel like skiing was a waste of money, made me feel like shit because I could jump ship and live easily with my supporting family when hers was as under as much of a struggle as we were. If we got into fights she would text my mom or my family from my phone pretending to be me, seriously fucking up the relationship in their eyes and making me not want to talk to them at all. Delete my FB account I've had since idk gr9 because "WHO THE FUCK IS SHE WHY WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WHY DO YOU HAVE DRUNK PICTURES WITH THEM?!?!" these were literally old old elementary onto highschool friends who were girls (OH YEAH PRO TIP yeah guys if she had this kind of attitude its because ABSOLUTELY 100% of her guy friends are constantly trying to get with her) that I wouldn't ever want to have a sexual relationship with. Thats about enough I think, it was a super toxic relationship and im certain im gonna be in counseling for awhile trying to sort things out.

BUT anyway thats all in the past, and now im just going super duper positive trying to make things better for me. Re-connecting with every single one of my old highschool buddys, even guys I havn't seen in like 8 years.Going to school in KELOWNA BC WHOOOHOO BIG WHITE, REVVY, SILVER STAR, HOT AS FUCK BC CHICKS WHO DIG SKIERS HERE I COME. SKIING my god damn ass off, working the fuck out, eating regularly cause im not smoking weed everyday, quiting smokes in a god damn month. Im just trying to kill it in general now. damn Im gonna miss the sex though she was a fucking animal in the bed. But its gonna be worth it. Because skiing is life, I swear I was depressed without it.

So yeah, youre breakup sounds fucking awesome, enjoy it. I left our god damn apartment of 2 years and our fucking cute as hell cat of 1 year (FUCK I MISS YOU ALICE.) Cause I found god damn yet another 100% proof of her cheating, and I couldnt even face her. But Im feeling sooo much better. Just fucking ski man, its pure Nirvana.
Feb 28 2017 2:52AM
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Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 745
coolflash8i beg to differ, sex without love is kinda lame imo


Awh.. so sweet. I bet half the pink names just gushed a little.
Feb 28 2017 4:02AM
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doublecup
Posts: 946
coolflash8i beg to differ, sex without love is kinda lame imo


You are a fucking pussy
Feb 28 2017 4:10AM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
Dammit you made me bust open a bottle a wine, damn you and your thread. Kidding though, and hey it was only half of it I didn't get blackout! *high fives myself* Whoop, see, getting better!
Feb 28 2017 6:57AM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
Hugh_Conway_jrAwh.. so sweet. I bet half the pink names just gushed a little.


doublecupYou are a fucking pussy


virgins lmfao
Feb 28 2017 10:24AM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
Hugh_Conway_jrAwh.. so sweet. I bet half the pink names just gushed a little.


doublecupYou are a fucking pussy


virgins
Feb 28 2017 10:24AM
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doublecup
Posts: 946
coolflash8virgins


the hotter they are, the worse you treat them
Feb 28 2017 10:35AM
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coolflash8
Posts: 2982
doublecupthe hotter they are, the worse you treat them


how is that a relevant statement?
Feb 28 2017 10:56AM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
robbinJAHoodHaving a rebound helps


Can it still be a rebound if its been a month? Turns out all my relationship's fell into my lap, and I suck at being single, well like hitting on chicks wise.Farthest I got to scoring was making out with a chick at a bar for a bit. Got no finish.
Feb 28 2017 12:22PM
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Bombogenesis
Posts: 1931
Alright dude... here's my take.

I had a rough breakup toward the end of last year. The most frustrating part was that it was over BS, and she blocked me on everything so I had no control over trying to fix it. Some girl lied to her about a bunch of stuff, girlfriend took it as gospel and yeah.

I was devastated. Holidays sucked, I thought this girl was great etc. to cope, I downloaded bumble. Went on a bunch of dates, hooked up with some girls whatever. It was literally just a coping mechanism and a distraction.

I ended up going on "just another date" with a girl. Planned to grab drinks after work... pretty casual.


Hit it off like i never imagined. Like, seriously hit it off. Within literally 5 minutes I realized that this girl was like no one I had ever talked to/gone on a date with etc. pretty, becoming a doctor, extremely down to earth. We kept hanging out, formed a super fast crazy bond and things have been great for several weeks now. Who knows where it'll go but I can honestly say I'm feeling better about myself and life than ever before. Seriously.. I'm so happy.


my point is this... things really do happen for a reason. I was so down in the dumps and now I really feel like if things keep going well this may be the one. They say when you meet her (or him), you'll know. I always thought that was BS, but now I'm not totally against that statement. I'm 26 by the way.

things happen, they suck when they happen but endings only lead to new beginnings hombre. Keep your head up, she wasn't meant to be. Onward and upward :)
Feb 28 2017 4:15PM
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Wutever
Posts: 274
Well it's never fun to break up, but at the same time, I think recognizing that parting of paths is a part of life and that's ok. Things don't always have to end in your favor for it to be ok in the end, that's the part we forget. Sure it stings big time, but you know what? You gotta get up and keep moving and it'll be fine, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.

You can try to still be friends after, as long as you can figure how to separate friends feelings from relationship feelings. Some people can stay friends, for others it's too painful, it's kinda situational. Anyways, it's going to be up to you and her to respect each other's boundaries, even if that means you part ways as friends.
Feb 28 2017 4:17PM
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bait
Posts: 1148
ZeMagnificentKevWell lemme tell yeah about pretty much the opposite of your situation. I just (well about a month ago now) broke off my most serious relationship yet, of about 4 years. Fuck I still think I might love her, she is a very amazing person, but god damn, does she ever have some baggage. And im not the most well adjusted person in the world either, so It was like, Idk, an alcoholic trying to help a coke addict to get over their life destroying addictions while they both smoke weed and cigs like chimney's because dammit they need some kind of vice (pretty accurate description of about a year of our relationship actually)

Let me just get a list out there now of my grievances; Cheated on me (ranges from being very very fucking flirty but just talking to staying a night over at their house telling me she was spending a night with a friend) with about..10 different guys during our relationship (several of them EXES! oh goody!). Made me quit fucking NS because she looked at my history and saw a "best GIF" thread that had partially nude asses in it. Made me feel like total shit, made me feel like skiing was a waste of money, made me feel like shit because I could jump ship and live easily with my supporting family when hers was as under as much of a struggle as we were. If we got into fights she would text my mom or my family from my phone pretending to be me, seriously fucking up the relationship in their eyes and making me not want to talk to them at all. Delete my FB account I've had since idk gr9 because "WHO THE FUCK IS SHE WHY WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WHY DO YOU HAVE DRUNK PICTURES WITH THEM?!?!" these were literally old old elementary onto highschool friends who were girls (OH YEAH PRO TIP yeah guys if she had this kind of attitude its because ABSOLUTELY 100% of her guy friends are constantly trying to get with her) that I wouldn't ever want to have a sexual relationship with. Thats about enough I think, it was a super toxic relationship and im certain im gonna be in counseling for awhile trying to sort things out.

BUT anyway thats all in the past, and now im just going super duper positive trying to make things better for me. Re-connecting with every single one of my old highschool buddys, even guys I havn't seen in like 8 years.Going to school in KELOWNA BC WHOOOHOO BIG WHITE, REVVY, SILVER STAR, HOT AS FUCK BC CHICKS WHO DIG SKIERS HERE I COME. SKIING my god damn ass off, working the fuck out, eating regularly cause im not smoking weed everyday, quiting smokes in a god damn month. Im just trying to kill it in general now. damn Im gonna miss the sex though she was a fucking animal in the bed. But its gonna be worth it. Because skiing is life, I swear I was depressed without it.

So yeah, youre breakup sounds fucking awesome, enjoy it. I left our god damn apartment of 2 years and our fucking cute as hell cat of 1 year (FUCK I MISS YOU ALICE.) Cause I found god damn yet another 100% proof of her cheating, and I couldnt even face her. But Im feeling sooo much better. Just fucking ski man, its pure Nirvana.


If a girl makes you quit NS, quit that relationship.
Feb 28 2017 4:57PM
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Park.
Posts: 2417
Insanely similar position OP. Had the best possible breakup I have heard. Best relationship I'd ever heard of too. I went to college and she didnt wanna do long distance. I hooked up with some girls and felt empty and guilty and I learned Im kinda crazy since I couldn't handle my emotions and we had to mutually block eachother on everything and still have the same feelings now (7 months later) that I did the day I left for school. Been trying to find someone else but damn everyone's just dick hungry man.

In my situation, a good breakup made it harder. I dont have a single negative to say about my ex and it makes it harder to forget and move on since its hard to believe theres anything better than what I had.

I tried to be friends with her but I accepted that I could never be just friends. Dont lie to yourself if you are the same way because it just made things complicated and difficult.

Just know that if you end up moving on faster than I am you are making progress even if it doesnt feel like it.
Feb 28 2017 7:27PM
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weedoo
Posts: 650
Why is this thread gettin' so many dislikes? Anyways op theres not really much i can say but i hope you feel better dude
Feb 28 2017 10:16PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4564
Sno.yes. you can be friends with her.

my now husband and I dated several times off-and-on when we were super young. we remained best friends throughout our adult lives and now we're married. why cut her friendship out of your life if you have love for her? keep those worth keeping close--regardless of their "status" in your life.


currently doing the opposite...

way to make me question my ideals bunny
Mar 1 2017 8:14PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
baitIf a girl makes you quit NS, quit that relationship.


Yeah thats pretty much my rule for relationships now. Also if she's ever even slighty upset at the amount of time Im spending skiing. ill be sending the breakup text on the next lift up. "You're still skiing??" Oh my god bitch I will fucking spend all night skiing now
Mar 1 2017 8:31PM
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TheDoughAbides
Posts: 1298
drink a few beers with your boys that she didnt like then hit the bar and buy a drink for the hottest girl there who double takes you then see what happens
Mar 1 2017 8:36PM
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Wutever
Posts: 274
ZeMagnificentKevYeah thats pretty much my rule for relationships now. Also if she's ever even slighty upset at the amount of time Im spending skiing. ill be sending the breakup text on the next lift up. "You're still skiing??" Oh my god bitch I will fucking spend all night skiing now


Wait... Your ex was upset that you were skiing? Are you serious?
Mar 1 2017 11:22PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
SkierBetchWait... Your ex was upset that you were skiing? Are you serious?


Some people really don't get skiing. Alot of people don't understand doing anything but work for more than like 2 hours. But yeah, didn't ski for 2 seasons cause of that shit. Thank every god in the sky im done with that.
Mar 1 2017 11:34PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 1948
ZeMagnificentKevSome people really don't get skiing. Alot of people don't understand doing anything but work for more than like 2 hours. But yeah, didn't ski for 2 seasons cause of that shit. Thank every god in the sky im done with that.


The day your significant other tries and control you is the day you should leave.
Mar 1 2017 11:59PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
SammyDubzThe day your significant other tries and control you is the day you should leave.


Preach my man, I learned a whole fucking lifetime educations worth of lessons
Mar 2 2017 12:07AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12140
Byron_tha_gr8currently doing the opposite...

way to make me question my ideals bunny


bah!

you do you, Byron.
Mar 2 2017 2:02AM
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peterpants
Posts: 229
ZeMagnificentKevWell lemme tell yeah about pretty much the opposite of your situation. I just (well about a month ago now) broke off my most serious relationship yet, of about 4 years. Fuck I still think I might love her, she is a very amazing person, but god damn, does she ever have some baggage. And im not the most well adjusted person in the world either, so It was like, Idk, an alcoholic trying to help a coke addict to get over their life destroying addictions while they both smoke weed and cigs like chimney's because dammit they need some kind of vice (pretty accurate description of about a year of our relationship actually)

Let me just get a list out there now of my grievances; Cheated on me (ranges from being very very fucking flirty but just talking to staying a night over at their house telling me she was spending a night with a friend) with about..10 different guys during our relationship (several of them EXES! oh goody!). Made me quit fucking NS because she looked at my history and saw a "best GIF" thread that had partially nude asses in it. Made me feel like total shit, made me feel like skiing was a waste of money, made me feel like shit because I could jump ship and live easily with my supporting family when hers was as under as much of a struggle as we were. If we got into fights she would text my mom or my family from my phone pretending to be me, seriously fucking up the relationship in their eyes and making me not want to talk to them at all. Delete my FB account I've had since idk gr9 because "WHO THE FUCK IS SHE WHY WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WHY DO YOU HAVE DRUNK PICTURES WITH THEM?!?!" these were literally old old elementary onto highschool friends who were girls (OH YEAH PRO TIP yeah guys if she had this kind of attitude its because ABSOLUTELY 100% of her guy friends are constantly trying to get with her) that I wouldn't ever want to have a sexual relationship with. Thats about enough I think, it was a super toxic relationship and im certain im gonna be in counseling for awhile trying to sort things out.

BUT anyway thats all in the past, and now im just going super duper positive trying to make things better for me. Re-connecting with every single one of my old highschool buddys, even guys I havn't seen in like 8 years.Going to school in KELOWNA BC WHOOOHOO BIG WHITE, REVVY, SILVER STAR, HOT AS FUCK BC CHICKS WHO DIG SKIERS HERE I COME. SKIING my god damn ass off, working the fuck out, eating regularly cause im not smoking weed everyday, quiting smokes in a god damn month. Im just trying to kill it in general now. damn Im gonna miss the sex though she was a fucking animal in the bed. But its gonna be worth it. Because skiing is life, I swear I was depressed without it.

So yeah, youre breakup sounds fucking awesome, enjoy it. I left our god damn apartment of 2 years and our fucking cute as hell cat of 1 year (FUCK I MISS YOU ALICE.) Cause I found god damn yet another 100% proof of her cheating, and I couldnt even face her. But Im feeling sooo much better. Just fucking ski man, its pure Nirvana.



Welcome to UBCO my dood! Get a revy pass and weekend warrior everyweekend
Mar 2 2017 5:38PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5025
ZeMagnificentKevKELOWNA BC WHOOOHOO BIG WHITE


I've never seen someone so excited about living in Kelowna, if you wanna ride sometime though I go up a fair amount haha
Mar 2 2017 9:38PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
peterpantsWelcome to UBCO my dood! Get a revy pass and weekend warrior everyweekend

Haha close but I barely had the HS grades to make into Okanagan, but thanks anyway man not quite sure what pass I'm gonna get yet, they got a good park? I know I know, but Im an east ontario dood that's all we got and I always gotta get a few park laps in no matter how awesome all the other skiing is. Definitely gonna hit them all up though, saving up for a pow and backcountry set up as soon as the scrill starts rolling in.

daannnnieelI've never seen someone so excited about living in Kelowna, if you wanna ride sometime though I go up a fair amount haha


Haha well shit man its a beautiful town, im sure its got its pro's and cons just like everyplace, but I'm just stoked to live somewhere not in Onterrible. Only lived in either a tiny shit skiddy town, or in shitty big Ontario city in the worst skiddy area. Also the skiing uhh yeah can't wait. And alright cool man thanks im so down to meet a fellow ns'er and hitch a ride!
Mar 2 2017 9:49PM
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AgitatedHiatus
Posts: 319
Holy shit this thread blew up. UPDATE: So last night was my first night being single. I drank a whole bottle of jim beam, ate 5 gummies, and made out with a couple random chicks at a party.
Mar 4 2017 7:25PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4564
AgitatedHiatusHoly shit this thread blew up. UPDATE: So last night was my first night being single. I drank a whole bottle of jim beam, ate 5 gummies, and made out with a couple random chicks at a party.


One big thing to take away imo...

Being in a long committed relationship makes you a better person in a lot of ways. Your house/apartment stay clean, you end up being a better listener, and with any luck a bit better at sex and talking to lady folk in general. I think a lot of guys forget this because they wallow in sadness. But even if it ended, your relationship probably made you more desirable for someone in the future, near or far.
Mar 4 2017 10:44PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618
Byron_tha_gr8One big thing to take away imo...

Being in a long committed relationship makes you a better person in a lot of ways. Your house/apartment stay clean, you end up being a better listener, and with any luck a bit better at sex and talking to lady folk in general. I think a lot of guys forget this because they wallow in sadness. But even if it ended, your relationship probably made you more desirable for someone in the future, near or far.


This for sure, of course! I am god damn homey as fuck now, I've always been pree decent at cooking now I can god damn whip up full meals, good healthy meals for a whole table if need be. And just so much more clean. And yeah definitely better with the ladies, well as far as just making friends with them and talking to them, dunno about flirting or any kind of finish..maybe I have flirted though I have no idea. Also things went alot better in that category in BC, than this bumfuck town. I pretty sure that might be a skier thing though
Mar 4 2017 10:58PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4564
ZeMagnificentKevThis for sure, of course! I am god damn homey as fuck now, I've always been pree decent at cooking now I can god damn whip up full meals, good healthy meals for a whole table if need be. And just so much more clean. And yeah definitely better with the ladies, well as far as just making friends with them and talking to them, dunno about flirting or any kind of finish..maybe I have flirted though I have no idea. Also things went alot better in that category in BC, than this bumfuck town. I pretty sure that might be a skier thing though


I mean its realizing you have a reason to be confident. And yeah just being able to talk to girls as people so much easier about anything makes everything easier. Idk how i would have learned that otherwise.
Mar 4 2017 11:26PM
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