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Yep, booked a one-way outta here. Whether it's temporary or not, I just need to get some perspective on myself/relationship/situation. I need to step back for a second. Caleb and I haven't had the opportunity to "miss" each other in months. I miss missing him.
So I'm leaving. I don't know if it's for forever, but I am taking my stuff with me. If I decide to come back, I hope it's as a stronger me. Right now it looks like I'm flying out to Guadalajara for a couple weeks in January for fun with some friends so I won't be out of Mexico for too long. I love him, he knows that. Telling him that I've decided to leave was seriously one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I need to do this for me.
nmwninjartIs that a good thing? Where are you headed to?
It just feels like something I need to do for myself right now. Not sure where I'm headed quite yet. I'm flying into where my parents are and then going from there.
dkirseIt just feels like something I need to do for myself right now. Not sure where I'm headed quite yet. I'm flying into where my parents are and then going from there.
Proud of you for doing what you need to do. It isn't easy.
dkirseI've been home for less than 24 hours at this point and I'm so devastatingly sad without Caleb by my side.
GD I feel this. Living by myself kinda sucks, especially in a basement apartment, and I'm just sad. I'll be sad for a while.
On a different note, this will be my first Thanksgiving alone. I really hope I can go skiing or something because it's going to be devastatingly lonely. My Friendsgiving plans fell thru, and I also found out the one TDay dinner a buddy invited me to I'm not actually invited to. I need friends. I need to get the fuck out of Bozeman. 2021 and the end of my masters can't come soon enough.
**This post was edited on Nov 24th 2019 at 5:01:19pm
Okay so long story short, I went through a break up last month and then unexpectedly started seeing this guy like a week after. At first I really wanted to be single and focus on myself. I'm a really independent person who loves to be alone most of the time. But ladies.... this guy is seriously out of this world. I've never connected with somebody like this before on a sexual, intellectual, and jokester level. I cannot get enough of him when I'm with him. I met his entire family today since I crashed at his place last night and his family was visiting for the holiday. They're all super kind and welcoming, but I'm really afraid to get my hopes up. He says all of the right things and makes me feel like I've never felt before, but for some reason I have this feeling that he's going to just stop talking to me one day. I don't know if this is emotional baggage from my last 2 relationships (cheating/lying from my partners) or if this is something I should really listen to. Also he doesn't ski or bike at all and I could care less??? Which is so crazy for me since I have only ever dated skiers and my life revolves around skiing. Sorry for the text vomit, but I feel like I'm dreaming with how amazing he is, and I REALLY don't want to be hurt like I have been in the past.
taylornickyOkay so long story short, I went through a break up last month and then unexpectedly started seeing this guy like a week after. At first I really wanted to be single and focus on myself. I'm a really independent person who loves to be alone most of the time. But ladies.... this guy is seriously out of this world. I've never connected with somebody like this before on a sexual, intellectual, and jokester level. I cannot get enough of him when I'm with him. I met his entire family today since I crashed at his place last night and his family was visiting for the holiday. They're all super kind and welcoming, but I'm really afraid to get my hopes up. He says all of the right things and makes me feel like I've never felt before, but for some reason I have this feeling that he's going to just stop talking to me one day. I don't know if this is emotional baggage from my last 2 relationships (cheating/lying from my partners) or if this is something I should really listen to. Also he doesn't ski or bike at all and I could care less??? Which is so crazy for me since I have only ever dated skiers and my life revolves around skiing. Sorry for the text vomit, but I feel like I'm dreaming with how amazing he is, and I REALLY don't want to be hurt like I have been in the past.
Ooooo this is tough. Is it just NRE or more? I'd just ride the wave, it seems to be a good thing. Even if it's a short wave, maybe it'll treat you well even if it ends soon? Whatever this is, it may just be what you need for right now.
I'm really feeling this too, but I think we're both rebounding really hard. REALLY hard.
**This post was edited on Dec 1st 2019 at 10:13:24pm
taylornickyOkay so long story short, I went through a break up last month and then unexpectedly started seeing this guy like a week after. At first I really wanted to be single and focus on myself. I'm a really independent person who loves to be alone most of the time. But ladies.... this guy is seriously out of this world. I've never connected with somebody like this before on a sexual, intellectual, and jokester level. I cannot get enough of him when I'm with him. I met his entire family today since I crashed at his place last night and his family was visiting for the holiday. They're all super kind and welcoming, but I'm really afraid to get my hopes up. He says all of the right things and makes me feel like I've never felt before, but for some reason I have this feeling that he's going to just stop talking to me one day. I don't know if this is emotional baggage from my last 2 relationships (cheating/lying from my partners) or if this is something I should really listen to. Also he doesn't ski or bike at all and I could care less??? Which is so crazy for me since I have only ever dated skiers and my life revolves around skiing. Sorry for the text vomit, but I feel like I'm dreaming with how amazing he is, and I REALLY don't want to be hurt like I have been in the past.
Go for it. If you're feeling good about it, that's all that matters. Life goes by too quickly to let things that feel good – if only momentarily – pass.
On another note – Caleb and I spent a painful two hours on FaceTime today. I called him to tell him I was willing to put in the work and fight for our relationship. I really believed in us and what we had and I thought maybe he felt the same. Turns out he thinks me wanting to come back to Mexico is a punishment and he'd rather cancel our lease and leave Mexico than try to work things out with me. I think it's safe to say my relationship is officially over.
Bummer @dkirse .
At least now you know its time to end that chapter in your life and start a new one.
Im sure you learned many things during that time and are now smarter and stronger
safarisamI'm so sorry. :( That's so so tough, but ultimately you'll come out of this a new you, and it could be for the better.
It's been an interesting journey. He's a great dude, but maybe we're just not a match. We had a good thing for a long time and I want to remember it like that. Whew...I haven't gone through a breakup in a while. I'm seriously cringing at the fact that I'm going to have to start dating again.
nmwninjartBummer @dkirse .
At least now you know its time to end that chapter in your life and start a new one.
Im sure you learned many things during that time and are now smarter and stronger
I do feel like I have more clarity coming out of this. I feel stronger, more secure in myself, and safe in my decisions and things that I want to achieve. Time to network and get myself back on the job market. Maybe it will help me put myself back on the radar in terms of dating, too.
Oof I accidentally super liked the guy I’m sleeping with on tinder, and now it’s going to be super awkward because I had made a new account. Not to mention that I matched with one of my buddies who straight up told me he's stoked I broke up because now he can sleep with me. FWB are weird, whatever is going on with Jack is weird. All of this is weird.
**This post was edited on Dec 3rd 2019 at 11:30:51am
Shit. Wish I had seen this you totally could have come to dinner with my family in big sky. Hope it turned out to be a good day- we should ski together this winter!
safarisamGD I feel this. Living by myself kinda sucks, especially in a basement apartment, and I'm just sad. I'll be sad for a while.
On a different note, this will be my first Thanksgiving alone. I really hope I can go skiing or something because it's going to be devastatingly lonely. My Friendsgiving plans fell thru, and I also found out the one TDay dinner a buddy invited me to I'm not actually invited to. I need friends. I need to get the fuck out of Bozeman. 2021 and the end of my masters can't come soon enough.
**This post was edited on Nov 24th 2019 at 5:01:19pm
I love love love love this group of ladies because I feel so much less alone in my mid 20’s crisis due to (potentially) breaking up with my man that I’ve lived with for the last 5 years.
I wish y’all the best and imma leave you with some advice I dropped on my bff this past week.
Seriously considering buying some V-werks Katana for resort skiing. I know it's a touring ski, but I'm in love with my volkl gotamas I just wish they were slightly longer and wider.
sos I actually really like my “casual” hookup He’s super sweet, and really smart, and hot. He took me out to dinner and drinks to celebrate surviving my first semester of grad school and my ex never did anything like that.
safarisamsos I actually really like my “casual” hookup He’s super sweet, and really smart, and hot. He took me out to dinner and drinks to celebrate surviving my first semester of grad school and my ex never did anything like that.
Just sent out a butt load of sponsor letters.... slightly convinced that I won’t get sponsors for a verrrrrrry long time:( crappy that social media has to play such a big part in it
I did it. I ordered some new 177 Volkl Katana's for 40% off on ebay. I've wanted these skis since they came out, they're just so pricey it was hard to pull the trigger. They were also not the right ski for heavy Washington snow, but now that I live in Utah my Volkl two's are just overkill wide and needlessly heavy for the lightweight blower pow here. I'm hoping these will be my dream ski, more and more I've just been hating skis with a lot of tip and tail rocker height. The more dramatic the rocker height the more the ski seems to plow the snow instead of plane. It also makes the ski less intuitive in chop. I keep drooling over the pictures of the nearly flat rocker profile of the Katana: https://blisterreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/V-Werks-Katana-tip-profile.jpg I'm hoping these skis will plane as wonderfully as my gotamas but will have a bit more float for the really deep days. Enjoy this hilarious example of my 170 gotamas being overwhelmed by a pocket of very deep snow last week; https://gfycat.com/unsightlydopeychamois With any luck I'll get my new skis right around Christmas, just in time for the snow coverage to be decent.
AbiHJust sent out a butt load of sponsor letters.... slightly convinced that I won’t get sponsors for a verrrrrrry long time:( crappy that social media has to play such a big part in it
It's all about the social media game these days. If you're looking to up your view count it isn't that difficult to get a top post on the /r/skiing sub on reddit. I've noticed a lot of "influencers" farming views there lately. But hey, it seems to work.
okay I know this is stupid to say because I'm 24 but I'm actually pretty freaked about being home alone at night. I'm staying at my parent's place (*note this is not my childhood home, this is their new house) and they're on a cruise so I still have the house to myself for the next couple nights. I was SO looking forward to them being gone bc I haven't had any personal space since coming home from Mexico blah blah blah but legit once the sun goes down I am totally freaked out. Their house is so quiet and empty and spooky.
I have been used to having my ex by my side for a while now (before he moved in 10 months ago I lived alone) and honestly wish I still had him by my side. He always made me feel safe. I know our relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons – that's why I broke things off with him – but holy shit, can someone help me feel safe again? Any advice? Maybe I just need some self defense classes. Or nightlights. Definitely a zillion nightlights.
dkirseokay I know this is stupid to say because I'm 24 but I'm actually pretty freaked about being home alone at night. I'm staying at my parent's place (*note this is not my childhood home, this is their new house) and they're on a cruise so I still have the house to myself for the next couple nights. I was SO looking forward to them being gone bc I haven't had any personal space since coming home from Mexico blah blah blah but legit once the sun goes down I am totally freaked out. Their house is so quiet and empty and spooky.
I have been used to having my ex by my side for a while now (before he moved in 10 months ago I lived alone) and honestly wish I still had him by my side. He always made me feel safe. I know our relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons – that's why I broke things off with him – but holy shit, can someone help me feel safe again? Any advice? Maybe I just need some self defense classes. Or nightlights. Definitely a zillion nightlights.
Nightlights really helped me. I hadn’t ever lived alone until recently and needed them the first week.
dkirseokay I know this is stupid to say because I'm 24 but I'm actually pretty freaked about being home alone at night. I'm staying at my parent's place (*note this is not my childhood home, this is their new house) and they're on a cruise so I still have the house to myself for the next couple nights. I was SO looking forward to them being gone bc I haven't had any personal space since coming home from Mexico blah blah blah but legit once the sun goes down I am totally freaked out. Their house is so quiet and empty and spooky.
I have been used to having my ex by my side for a while now (before he moved in 10 months ago I lived alone) and honestly wish I still had him by my side. He always made me feel safe. I know our relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons – that's why I broke things off with him – but holy shit, can someone help me feel safe again? Any advice? Maybe I just need some self defense classes. Or nightlights. Definitely a zillion nightlights.
I HATE BEING HOME ALONE.
Listen, after school my brother would be home but he worked night shift so he would be locked in his room sleeping and I shit you not I’d sit outside his room because I was too scared to be anywhere else alone in the house.
During summer vacation I would be up until sunrise and there was an hour period that my parents were home and the sun was up - that’s the ONLY time I could fall asleep. And I would sleep through being home alone until 5pm when they got home from work.
I still leave a light on - hall light, bathroom light, etc m. My boyfriend is usually home and if he isn’t, my dog always is. And my dog is extremely protective of me. Honestly would not ever make it through the night on my own as pathetic as that is hahaha.
dkirseokay I know this is stupid to say because I'm 24 but I'm actually pretty freaked about being home alone at night. I'm staying at my parent's place (*note this is not my childhood home, this is their new house) and they're on a cruise so I still have the house to myself for the next couple nights. I was SO looking forward to them being gone bc I haven't had any personal space since coming home from Mexico blah blah blah but legit once the sun goes down I am totally freaked out. Their house is so quiet and empty and spooky.
I have been used to having my ex by my side for a while now (before he moved in 10 months ago I lived alone) and honestly wish I still had him by my side. He always made me feel safe. I know our relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons – that's why I broke things off with him – but holy shit, can someone help me feel safe again? Any advice? Maybe I just need some self defense classes. Or nightlights. Definitely a zillion nightlights.
I make it a point to check that every window/door is locked. It sounds crazy, but it gives me the peace of mind. Stop watching scary shows, movies, or books. That’s what made the biggest difference for me. If I’m feeling super spooked, I’ll leave the light on in an adjacent room.
Also, dk, what book should I read that has a good story line? I’m getting knee surgery and just finished my book!
safarisamNightlights really helped me. I hadn’t ever lived alone until recently and needed them the first week.
MinggI HATE BEING HOME ALONE.
Listen, after school my brother would be home but he worked night shift so he would be locked in his room sleeping and I shit you not I’d sit outside his room because I was too scared to be anywhere else alone in the house.
During summer vacation I would be up until sunrise and there was an hour period that my parents were home and the sun was up - that’s the ONLY time I could fall asleep. And I would sleep through being home alone until 5pm when they got home from work.
I still leave a light on - hall light, bathroom light, etc m. My boyfriend is usually home and if he isn’t, my dog always is. And my dog is extremely protective of me. Honestly would not ever make it through the night on my own as pathetic as that is hahaha.
taylornickyI make it a point to check that every window/door is locked. It sounds crazy, but it gives me the peace of mind. Stop watching scary shows, movies, or books. That’s what made the biggest difference for me. If I’m feeling super spooked, I’ll leave the light on in an adjacent room.
Also, dk, what book should I read that has a good story line? I’m getting knee surgery and just finished my book!
You guys!! Thank you for validating me! Night time is spooky, man. I'm moving into a new place soon (hopefully!) and will have a roommate which should make me feel better. I haven't had a roommate in years and I'm stoked.
That being said, I definitely still want nightlights and self defense classes. I am a smol human with even smaller punches and don't think I could do any harm to someone coming for me. Tangent: do any of you carry knives or pepper spray on your person? I've considered it before but never went through with getting either. But, now that I might be moving back to Reno and trying to date again, I want to be somewhat prepared for if anything ever turned sour.
Also, chicktay, it depends on what kind of books you're into. If you're looking for something spooky, Misery by S. King was one of my faves this year (it's also a movie!) The Woman In The Window by A.J. Finn is terrifyingly good. (I actually took like a week-long break from reading after finishing that one because my mind was blown.)
Also some spooky dystopian reads that are creepy but not scary are the Handmaid's Tale series by Atwood. Those are awesome. Plus they're a TV series, too, so perf during recovery from surgery. If you're looking for just a good-hearted read, Barbarian Days is absolutely awesome or Just Kids by Patti Smith (but for some reason I think you may have already read that?) Also, one that I read last year that I LOVED was Anthony Kiedis' autobiography (lead singer of RHCP) called Scar Tissue.
Sorry for the mouthful. I love books. Also – ACL surgery again? Same knee?
dkirseThat being said, I definitely still want nightlights and self defense classes. I am a smol human with even smaller punches and don't think I could do any harm to someone coming for me. Tangent: do any of you carry knives or pepper spray on your person? I've considered it before but never went through with getting either. But, now that I might be moving back to Reno and trying to date again, I want to be somewhat prepared for if anything ever turned sour.
Small things of pepper spray are safer. My dad has always taught us that knives can be turned against you-- especially if you're a smol (or weaker) person. Even if you;re a strong big dude a knife can (and will) be used against you.
That said, I always carry a Spyderco Mantra 2 knife with me. It goes against what I just said, but it makes me feel safer and I'm not that small of a lady, I feel like my height (not that tall-- 5'8") is an advantage to an extent.
dkirseYou guys!! Thank you for validating me! Night time is spooky, man. I'm moving into a new place soon (hopefully!) and will have a roommate which should make me feel better. I haven't had a roommate in years and I'm stoked.
That being said, I definitely still want nightlights and self defense classes. I am a smol human with even smaller punches and don't think I could do any harm to someone coming for me. Tangent: do any of you carry knives or pepper spray on your person? I've considered it before but never went through with getting either. But, now that I might be moving back to Reno and trying to date again, I want to be somewhat prepared for if anything ever turned sour.
Also, chicktay, it depends on what kind of books you're into. If you're looking for something spooky, Misery by S. King was one of my faves this year (it's also a movie!) The Woman In The Window by A.J. Finn is terrifyingly good. (I actually took like a week-long break from reading after finishing that one because my mind was blown.)
Also some spooky dystopian reads that are creepy but not scary are the Handmaid's Tale series by Atwood. Those are awesome. Plus they're a TV series, too, so perf during recovery from surgery. If you're looking for just a good-hearted read, Barbarian Days is absolutely awesome or Just Kids by Patti Smith (but for some reason I think you may have already read that?) Also, one that I read last year that I LOVED was Anthony Kiedis' autobiography (lead singer of RHCP) called Scar Tissue.
Sorry for the mouthful. I love books. Also – ACL surgery again? Same knee?
Thanks for the recs! Anything not-so-spooky? Haha
and I finally found out why my knee always fucking hurts. I have a cyst on my reconstructed ACL lmao only me.... so yeah I’m getting it removed
safarisamSmall things of pepper spray are safer. My dad has always taught us that knives can be turned against you-- especially if you're a smol (or weaker) person. Even if you;re a strong big dude a knife can (and will) be used against you.
That said, I always carry a Spyderco Mantra 2 knife with me. It goes against what I just said, but it makes me feel safer and I'm not that small of a lady, I feel like my height (not that tall-- 5'8") is an advantage to an extent.
thank you! the thought of carrying something around is both comforting and creeps me out. I'll look into it though!
taylornickyThanks for the recs! Anything not-so-spooky? Haha
and I finally found out why my knee always fucking hurts. I have a cyst on my reconstructed ACL lmao only me.... so yeah I’m getting it removed
I have not-so-spooky recs if you're into autobiographies! like anything by joan didion and patti smith are lovely. also, bummer about your knee. get that shit outta there.
I live alone most of the time. I get lonely ocasionally but for the most part it doesn't bother me. Ive always been kinda a loner.
I carry a pocketknife pretty much everywhere but its used more as a tool at work and such. I have weapons at home so if someone ever breaks in they will be very sorry they did.
I keep a nightlight on in the bathroom and said weapons closeby. I also do not watch scary movies too close to bedtime.
When out and about its alot about situation aware ness. Know whats going on around you and avoid going to a place or being around people that are shady. Trust the gut when it doesnt feel right. Since you mention self defense.....as a small person look into Aikido..the Japanese martial art. Small/short people will do well because of the techniques being designed by small statured people. They're designed to redirect the energy of a stronger bigger attacker and use it against them with not much exertion on your part. It uses flow and circular motions so you can be a total weakling and still be able to direct an opponent away and then get gone.
I tried an 8 week course and even though I dont remember much of the details it was still fun and a good insight.
If I wanted to take english and sociology classes I would be an english/sociology major. If anyone can tell me why I have to take english 1 and 2 AND sociology 1 and 2 PLUS history 1 and 2 as a software engineering major I will give you $5 and slap you because I don’t want to hear it but also want to know.
bought a sick mountain hardwear shell in M, nbd, my normal coat size. Bought some leggings in L, I've had an inkling that my current mtnhrw are too big, and they're too big!! Finally losing noticeable weight and it feels good.
**This post was edited on Dec 17th 2019 at 8:01:47pm
connecticuntIf I wanted to take english and sociology classes I would be an english/sociology major. If anyone can tell me why I have to take english 1 and 2 AND sociology 1 and 2 PLUS history 1 and 2 as a software engineering major I will give you $5 and slap you because I don’t want to hear it but also want to know.
safarisambought a sick mountain hardwear shell in M, nbd, my normal coat size. Bought some leggings in L, I've had an inkling that my current mtnhrw are too big, and they're too big!! Finally losing noticeable weight and it feels good.
**This post was edited on Dec 17th 2019 at 8:01:47pm
Hell yeah girl! Literally post breakup is the best diet. I lost like 20lbs when I found out my ex was cheating on me.
