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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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Do I own a slave?

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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
So it all started when I got my new job in Seattle. I live like 40 minutes from my work but with the car pool lane it takes 20 minutes. There was a bum that hung out by my apartment everyday and I would see him trying to get hand outs in the morning when I headed to work. AND that's when it hit me, I will train this homeless guy to ride in my car to work so I can ride in the HOV lane and get to work faster.

Fast forward to now. I now have a bum/friend that rides in my car to work and I repay with change and coffee so that I can get to work faster. His name is Jamal and he's actually a pretty nice homeless guy.

I didn't feel bad about this until now because Jamal now drives me to work. I literally pay him in coffee and he drives me to work in the car pool lane #winning. So do I own a slave?
Jun 7 2013 1:42AM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
inb4 Jamal rapes your butt.
Jun 7 2013 4:09PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Jamal respects me as a woman.
Jun 7 2013 5:38PM
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[legit]
Posts: 73 - Karma: 122
NAWICE.... well played
Jun 7 2013 7:42PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,679
Surprising no one noticed the name of op
Jun 7 2013 7:46PM
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alex=
Posts: 1738 - Karma: 2,835
In DC, where I'm familiar with, highway patrol and motorcycle cops run up and down there all the time. They enforce that shit bro
Jun 7 2013 7:52PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
I'm pretty sure you'd save more money by buying a pass to drive in the lane... gotta be cheaper than giving up a 3 buck coffee 5 days a week to some social scum.
Jun 7 2013 9:02PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,131
i.e., you?
Jun 7 2013 9:15PM
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Dingo69
Posts: 1330 - Karma: -171
Black slave!
Jun 7 2013 9:22PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Someone is jealous.
Jun 8 2013 2:08AM
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Zimmerman
Posts: 6992 - Karma: 1,021
You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.
Jun 8 2013 12:51PM
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Casey
Posts: 7790 - Karma: 23,514

405 doesn't have that option, 'round here its slaves or GTFO in the carpool lane.

I think this is a great plan until you stop needing him anymore. What if you get a different job or a new slave and he gets pissed and comes after you Django style?

Jun 8 2013 12:54PM
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JTTrembles
Posts: 1108 - Karma: 1,906
Teach him how to wash windows then you've got a winner
Jun 8 2013 1:08PM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
Do you chain him to the steering wheel?
Jun 8 2013 2:00PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Nah my slave is tight.
Jun 9 2013 12:25AM
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LoftyLawnChair
Posts: 846 - Karma: 220
Well really, it is completely ethical, but probably a little questionable on a moral level.

Morals=Personal Values

Ethics=Laws/Social Codes/Etc.
Jun 9 2013 12:29AM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Thanks for the ethic lesson. You must be a freshman in college or something.
Jun 9 2013 12:43AM
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WPoch
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 3,831
ahahaha, why is this thread so funny?
Jun 9 2013 1:17AM
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grapejuice3000+
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 1,985
one question, whats his color?
Jun 9 2013 2:29AM
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Blindsurfer
Posts: 2252 - Karma: 2,785
Aquamarine
Jun 9 2013 8:55AM
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bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 994
Yeah, like the mermaid.
Jun 9 2013 10:41AM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
no, no.
more like Captain Planet.

EARTH, WIND, WATER, HOMELESSSSSS!
Jun 10 2013 8:38AM
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De-Clan
Posts: 1920 - Karma: 3,696
You should change your name to Ms. Daisy
Jun 10 2013 9:32AM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
I'm goin to start a company like zip car and name it zip bum. The URL was taken already though.
Jun 10 2013 7:59PM
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Casey
Posts: 7790 - Karma: 23,514
Yeah zipbum is the name of my favorite bumfighting porn site. They know how to do it right.
Jun 11 2013 2:29PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
you definitely do not own a slave because you pay him but is sounds like you really want to so why not just stop paying him and whip him if he says no to driving you?
Jun 11 2013 2:35PM
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djdillwill
Posts: 132 - Karma: 555
Click for larger image
Jun 11 2013 4:56PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
He's not that old, he's like 16
Jun 11 2013 5:26PM
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djdillwill
Posts: 132 - Karma: 555
I'm pretty sure that everyone would much rather be morgan freeman than a 16-year-old homeless kid
Jun 11 2013 5:43PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
for real if hes 16 please give this kid some guidance and tell him to get his GED or some shit, he cant drive you around for coffee for the rest of his life and you are clearly expltoiting him but its not like hed have anything better to do if hes homeless, you should at least give him $10 an hour for any driving he does
Jun 12 2013 1:32AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
From a purely economic standpoint, one could argue you are doing good. However, you could be doing better, there are some businesses in Seattle that now let you run your car like a taxi. Make that money while you commute!
Jun 12 2013 1:40AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
if the principles of phrenology are true (which they are) then by now Jamal is so loyal to you, his master, that you can start paying him less and less and eventually even charge him change and coffee to drive you to work and he won't ever question it
Jun 12 2013 11:26AM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Yeah I mean wtf do you just drop him off back at his corner and go into your residence or what?
Jun 12 2013 12:57PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,325
the fuck is this shit? why do we not have any pictures of jamal driving your fucking car or something yet. ns is going soft, we need some hard proof, random picture of black hobo does not qualify.
Jun 12 2013 3:04PM
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THCfilmz
Posts: 155 - Karma: 349

picture of you two in the same car with his coffee or i dont believe a damn thing your saying. if its true... slave on brother slave on

Jun 12 2013 3:06PM
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Flyon
Posts: 295 - Karma: 331
Hey OP, why don't you offer to let him stay at your place til he gets back on his feet?
Jun 12 2013 3:24PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Yeah, I'm surprised no one asked me for pics yet. Do you guys want a shot of jamal driving me home from work?
Jun 12 2013 5:58PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Because that would be freeloading, I'm trying to support my local economy not give hand-outs! He can pay me a reasonable amount for rent (200-300$) then he can stay with me.
Jun 12 2013 5:59PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,325
yes
Jun 12 2013 6:15PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310


MEET JAMAL ANTHONY!



Click for larger image





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Jun 14 2013 7:55PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
Oops multi post
Jun 14 2013 8:15PM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
nice delivery, although its just a black dude standing infront of NS's favourite car.


i believe you though kind of
Jun 15 2013 6:27AM
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blazer258
Posts: 1097 - Karma: 642
that guy seems like a thug, let him chill around all he wants
Jun 15 2013 9:11AM
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byubound
Posts: 1636 - Karma: 9,870
Before you said that you drive a white subaru outback. Nice try, though.
Jun 15 2013 12:59PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
New car bro
Jun 15 2013 7:02PM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
I want to see pictures of him at the wheel from the inside of the car as you guys are going over the ship canal bridge/520/i90/any other recognizable Seattle location or I don't buy it.
Jun 16 2013 8:08PM
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TannerBalls
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 1,310
I can post pictures with my phone. get with the times newschoolers.
Jun 17 2013 12:07PM
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-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,581
picsss
Sep 6 2013 1:59AM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
That's the weirdest looking 16 year old homeless black kid i've ever seen. It looks like he's not sixteen, or homeless.
Sep 6 2013 3:08AM
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Casey
Posts: 7790 - Karma: 23,514
Every time I reread this shit I laugh. Good stuff
Sep 6 2013 6:59AM
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Bombogenesis
Posts: 1984 - Karma: 4,006
What you did there...
Sep 6 2013 7:47AM
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