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I need a diagnosis

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NewEscuelers
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 10,958
so I haven't been feeling greatly. Every time I eat it immediately exits out either end. Anyone good with medical stuff?
Jan 29 2013 8:12AM
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CandyNipples.
Posts: 340 - Karma: 51
AIDS
Jan 29 2013 8:14AM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Have you been getting any chemikals near your anus?
Jan 29 2013 8:15AM
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NewEscuelers
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 10,958
Ive been trying to inject heroin in new places. My ass went first ;P
Jan 29 2013 8:17AM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10054 - Karma: 25,277
Could be Crohn's disease or IBS and a long list of other things.

Visit your doc.
Jan 29 2013 8:28AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
Classic syphillis symptoms
Jan 29 2013 8:54AM
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ohmyglob8
Posts: 416 - Karma: 1,408
ever heard of LBS? its a pretty big illness affecting millions of 12 year olds
Jan 29 2013 9:04AM
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errrka
Posts: 2261 - Karma: 6,058
apparently that's been going around, some virus that should go away in about a week. If it lasts longer than a week, go to the doctor. Also make sure to drink plenty of water, and gatorade/pedialyte to replenish the electrolytes you're losing so you don't get dehydrated.
Jan 29 2013 11:48AM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
I had that for a few days. You should have seen my toilet.
Jan 29 2013 11:54AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,100
it's the "straight pipe" disease
Jan 29 2013 11:57AM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
Pretty sure that's chlamydia, might want to make a trip to the doctor.
Don't be a fool wrap your tool, unless the bitch is on birth control because that protects from STD's.
Jan 29 2013 12:13PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
There's a shitload of things it could be, but it's probably just a stomach virus. If it gets worse or doesn't go away, go get checked out. Otherwise, just keep hydrated and stay near your toilet.
Jan 29 2013 12:15PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13046 - Karma: 18,292
Its all about speed and consistancy. Its very likely to be a gastro bug, or the flu. More extreme case can be cancer or lupus
Jan 29 2013 12:16PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Someone doesn't know what the flu is...
Jan 29 2013 12:18PM
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steezeeepolizeee
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 796
Could be the norovirus. It has been going around in my area a lot. It's basically a stomach flu
Jan 29 2013 12:21PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
I got it over christmas and it fucking sucked. Worse 12 hours of my life
Jan 29 2013 2:11PM
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Jblz
Posts: 556 - Karma: 206
it sounds like extremebabysiphilgonaritus. better warm some of your cum up i the microwave and snort it
Jan 29 2013 2:13PM
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bigerbob
Posts: 49 - Karma: 95
you should start eating your poop/puke, that way your body will appriciate normal food again, its also great for the enviroment! go green, eat poop
Jan 29 2013 2:18PM
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theschneidler
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 354
spina bifida
Jan 29 2013 2:19PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
Start injecting snake venom into your arms.

Jan 29 2013 2:28PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Probably this. Not related to flu other than both are viruses. Causes "gastroenteritis" also purel-type products do NOT kill it, need to wash with soap and water, very low viral count required to make you sick compared to other viruses, and survives out of the body for a relatively long time for a virus.

Typically lasts 24-48 hours but not longer than a week. Pedialyte is your friend.
Jan 29 2013 3:03PM
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wreck.yoself
Posts: 656 - Karma: 46
clearly were dealing with a newborn here
Jan 29 2013 4:29PM
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Dr.Newschoolers
Posts: 1357 - Karma: 508
classic case of loose butthole
Jan 29 2013 5:54PM
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RimJobber
Posts: 3313 - Karma: 10,058
The Doctor has spoken!
Jan 29 2013 5:55PM
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jfxphoto
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 2,346
Crohns disease.
Jan 29 2013 5:56PM
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a_burger
Posts: 5206 - Karma: 20,187
I am pleased this was the first post.
Jan 29 2013 5:57PM
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
Leave India
Jan 29 2013 5:58PM
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oil.
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,254
ironic username is ironic.
haha sounds just like a virus. if it lasts more than a week or two, then you should probably go see a doctor.
Jan 29 2013 6:57PM
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Chief.
Posts: 276 - Karma: 399
classic case of type 7 AIDS
Jan 29 2013 7:00PM
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grahmcracker
Posts: 138 - Karma: 12
have you been on a cruise lately? check this outtt

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-01-15/sydney-vomiting-bug-poses-risk-for-cruise-line-passengers.html
Jan 29 2013 8:00PM
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wreck.yoself
Posts: 656 - Karma: 46
oh haaaaiiiiii
Jan 29 2013 8:04PM
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nacho.steez
Posts: 435 - Karma: 136
explosive diarrhea is best solved it a butt plug
Jan 29 2013 8:31PM
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NewEscuelers
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 10,958
hey guise! oyster crackers seems to sit well when suffering from whatever the fuck i have. they soak up all the liquids and keep the vomit/diarrhea from exploding out of you
not fudge filled cookies. those dont work as well. but those taste great twice
Jan 29 2013 9:02PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
shitsaftermeals

syndrome
Jan 29 2013 9:03PM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
This never gets old for me
Jan 29 2013 9:08PM
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All times are Eastern (-4)