me and three other friends were out by the local safeway and i had eaten Ling Ling potstickers earlier, and i had to shit for sure. i was prairie dogging (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=PRAIRIE+DOGGING) and i needed to put an end to this. i thought why not better than to shit on a parked car in the middle of the fucking street at 12pm... after i thought this abomination of an act over, i told my friends what is going down. the car that i chose to do it on happened to be my favorite car, an 05' gti. i got on the curb and laid out a fat shit, it was a clean get-away (not messy). my friend elliot thought smearing it everywhere would be funny and he happened to use a foam Kony 12' sign that was planted in the ground maybe 10 feet away. he smeared that shit like peanut butter. we heard a creaking door and a "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" which soon followed with a "OH FUCK, LETS RUN LIKE FUCK". so we ran like no other, and made it home safely. we ended the epic night with 'The Big Lebowski" , my favorite movie. so please... shit on as many cars as possible, there is no other adrenaline rush like it. and always bring toilet paper, a mistake i learned from. and if you had an attention span to read this far, let me know so i can thank you for not being retarded.
cheers
