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Terrible head expirence

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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469

So today I recieve the worst head I have ever had. Most uncomfortable thing on earth. It started out nice enough, but progressed to use of teeth, and went downhill from there.

I couldnt stand the biting so i suggest she deep throat me. As she attempted this, she burped, and threw up a little on my dick (I only figured this out until later).

After 10 minutes of agony I practically made myself cum, and proceeded to run away. I then noticed the shit on my dick, and freaked out. 

Worst afternoon of my life.

What stories do you have?

May 11 2012 8:33PM
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Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
biting. like straight chompin status.
May 11 2012 8:34PM
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hot.pocket
Posts: 4197 - Karma: 10,366
Thread title lead me to think you were talking about a head ache (idk why)

Needless to say I was slightly confused halfway through reading...
May 11 2012 8:34PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
the girl i dated last summer was a deepthroat queen, but every once in a while i'd get a little too familiar and give her head a shove and she'd chomp down. that shit wasn't fun. well, it was, but not when it'd leave little red blood bruise marks on the base of my shaft for a few days. owwwwww.
May 11 2012 8:37PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469

I'm still in shock.

My dick smells like shit.

May 11 2012 8:47PM
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EastCoast.
Posts: 1888 - Karma: 406
This thread better go somewhere and turn into one like the worst sexual expiriences. Quality posts in there.
May 11 2012 8:55PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,071
wait so was she gorging herself on poop before she gave you head? Or the smell is from puke.

May 11 2012 8:55PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469

Puke.......

I swear I'm not making this up i hate everything right now

May 11 2012 8:57PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
they can't bite when they're unconscious.
May 11 2012 8:59PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
So I just got out of the shower and was drying off when my girlfriend pulls me onto the bed and starts going down on me, which is an awesome way to cap off a shower. Things are going fantastic as usual. I orgasm, the heaven's part, birds sing songs of cheer, cue The Circle of Life.

My beloved girlfriend picks the towel up off the floor that I was drying off with to clean up my naughty bits, and im still in orgasmic bliss. It get's hazy and confusing after this, but I remember hearing a scream and feeling immense pain.

Apparently a spider had crawled own the towel while she was cleaning my dick, so her reaction was to punch the spider has hard as humanly possible.

TLDR; Got blowjob, spider ran across towel during post-blowjob wipe down, girlfriend punched dick.
May 11 2012 9:04PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,947
One time I was getting this blow job...


















































...and I came, she swallowed, and overall it was a really enjoyable experience.
May 11 2012 9:53PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
Well think about how embarrassed she must feel having thrown up on some guy's dick.
May 11 2012 10:00PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
whes she stops before i cum.

and one time i was havin a lil trouble gettin it up thanks to too much coke, and after 30 mins of gagging on my 60% hard cock she puked, not the best experience haha\




May 11 2012 10:05PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
i had a girl ask me to put on a condom before she gave me head. i laughed and walked out of her room
May 11 2012 11:06PM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
probably the funniest thing ever put into words.
May 11 2012 11:08PM
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hot.pocket
Posts: 4197 - Karma: 10,366
.
May 11 2012 11:10PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
i got head while driving a couple days ago and i had such an intense finish i felt like i was gonna pass out

i don't know what happened. it was awesome
May 11 2012 11:11PM
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tcgoldman
Posts: 704 - Karma: 723
hahahaha
May 11 2012 11:39PM
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DubV134
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 690
way too polite, shoulda smacked a hoe n stuck it in her ass
May 11 2012 11:43PM
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TRASHY.
Posts: 736 - Karma: 356
That old cougar you dated?
May 11 2012 11:44PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Braces+2 weeks of growth... I'll let you fill in the rest.
May 11 2012 11:45PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
yup that basically it for me
May 11 2012 11:48PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
she was only a year older. but she looked about 35. she is not aging well..
May 11 2012 11:52PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
Click for larger image
May 11 2012 11:55PM
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Poems
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 3
Once this girl was giving me head and right as I came, she coughed and all the cum shot back all over my dick and balls.
fuck.
May 11 2012 11:56PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
aweee nasty
May 11 2012 11:58PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
Oh whats up Reddit post, howd you find your way onto Newschoolers?
May 12 2012 12:01AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
You can smell your own dick?
May 12 2012 12:02AM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
girls can smell their own dirty snatch, right?
May 12 2012 12:02AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
.............................................I mean you would have to try really hard
May 12 2012 12:05AM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
Click for larger image
May 12 2012 12:06AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
But why would you try that hard to smell your own dick at all, let alone after someone threw up on it?
May 12 2012 12:09AM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
That I cannot answer.
May 12 2012 12:10AM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
PERHAPS IT WAS VERY POTENT, AND HE COULD SMELL IT JUST BY LOOKING AT IT.

IF I WERE A GIRL I WOULD SNIFF MY VAGINE (IF IT'S POSSIBLE) BEFORE GOING OUT JUST IN CASE.



GOOD THING MY DICK NEVER SMELLS.
May 12 2012 12:18AM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 438
One of the few posts made hilarious by all caps.
May 12 2012 12:27AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
I thought you weren't allowed to post in caps anymore, eh?
May 12 2012 12:29AM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
Call in Augustus!
May 12 2012 12:32AM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
yeh you would rat on me
May 12 2012 12:38AM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
communist ass website
May 12 2012 12:50AM
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SmokeyTheBear
Posts: 492 - Karma: 24
BOOM headshot
May 12 2012 12:58AM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
haha nice
May 12 2012 3:19AM
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LIL-WAT
Posts: 1510 - Karma: 146
Just tell her less teeth more tounge. Girls don't know what gets you off, and those girl magazines or whatever the fuck they give the most stupid advice.
May 12 2012 3:24AM
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rudager
Posts: 11332 - Karma: 4,597
Well puke on my dick!
May 12 2012 3:37AM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
i was waiting for somebody to notice. but yeah its revelant to the thread
May 12 2012 9:26AM
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EastCoast.
Posts: 1888 - Karma: 406
lolzzz
May 12 2012 9:35AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Woah, haven't seen a post from you in a longgggggg time.
May 12 2012 9:45AM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
When you are driving your dad home, you tend to smell everything
May 12 2012 10:06AM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,071
2 weeks of growth?
May 12 2012 10:23AM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
A girl puked on my friends dick. Like straight up hurled all over it. She was deliriously drunk and going down on the guy, and just vomited all over his schlong. He ran home from the party and took 2 showers hahahaha
May 12 2012 10:27AM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
a girl has never touched mini-nowiseebeesiwon :(
May 12 2012 10:34AM
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dique_cheeez
Posts: 61 - Karma: 11
relevant video is relevant
May 12 2012 10:42AM
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