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March, 2024

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Mind bottling pooping question...

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R@ggaMuffin
Posts: 321 - Karma: 34
You guys know that half of guys wipe their ass standing after a good ol poo and the other half wipe sitting down, and almost no one realizes that the other method exists?
Jan 12 2011 5:26PM
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SgtSteamy
Posts: 498 - Karma: 202
I'm a stander....
Jan 12 2011 5:30PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9210 - Karma: 5,357
i think it's mind boggling. but hey, it might as well be bottling too cause i've never heard of this.
Jan 12 2011 5:31PM
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IanAdams
Posts: 281 - Karma: 89
Jesus christ. It's "mind boggling" not bottling.
Jan 12 2011 5:32PM
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ForrestW
Posts: 451 - Karma: 56
wow. shocked.
Jan 12 2011 5:32PM
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R@ggaMuffin
Posts: 321 - Karma: 34
Im a sitter for sure... why would you stand up to wipe your ass... All the poo would like clench between your cheeks...
Jan 12 2011 5:32PM
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R@ggaMuffin
Posts: 321 - Karma: 34
and no shit its mind boggling... : Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle? Blades of glory
Jan 12 2011 5:33PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
this!!

the standing method isn't very effective from both anatomical and ergonomical point of view !
Jan 12 2011 5:33PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
mind bottling. like when you get all your thoughts trapped up like in a bottle....
Jan 12 2011 5:34PM
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beermuscles
Posts: 1821 - Karma: 100
this is almost as good as faunt got bigger ..
Jan 12 2011 5:35PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36673 - Karma: 110,531
Thanks for reminding us where that quote is from. Its not like not a lot of people have seen that movie.
Jan 12 2011 5:35PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
i kinda half stand half sit. my only issue with sitting down is how do you check if the paper is still poopy?

obviously each wipe session varies with how much paper you need and how many passes you need to take down through the devil's underpass so you need to check the paper to see when it's no longer contracting little flecks of poopiness. when sitting down i see no adequate way to do this
Jan 12 2011 5:35PM
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D1X
Posts: 402 - Karma: 16
How the fuck do you even reach while sitting without getting shit all over your hand or touching the toilet water/shit/piss?
Jan 12 2011 5:35PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36673 - Karma: 110,531
Exactly. When you are sitting down, You can easily wipe your ass and try to view the toliet paper for the poopiness. But it is hard to view it. It most cases, I find myself accidentaly smearing some on my asscheeks while trying to view it.
Jan 12 2011 5:37PM
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R@ggaMuffin
Posts: 321 - Karma: 34
Its kinda like your lifting off to the side for a fart. I also dont want poopy toilet paper anywhere out of hte toilet bowl. Thats just gross
Jan 12 2011 5:38PM
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Ehh...
Posts: 1897 - Karma: 1,423
this is why i have you at 10/10 k

hahaha my thoughts exactly!
Jan 12 2011 5:38PM
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egg.
Posts: 3231 - Karma: 3,477
same.............................
Jan 12 2011 5:39PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
i was on a camping trip on vancouver island last year and i was walking to the outhouse and my friend was standing there looking out the little window at me and i said "hey dude are you done, cuz i gotta go like a mofo" and he said "yeah im just wiping"

my mind exploded then i died laughing because that was the funniest thing i had ever heard at that time.
Jan 12 2011 5:39PM
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kardaddy
Posts: 435 - Karma: 10
you're disgusting
Jan 12 2011 5:40PM
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D1X
Posts: 402 - Karma: 16
So you basically have to go through all that effort for every wipe? Sounds stupid and awkward. Stand up, examine every sheet with ease and have no problem determining when you're good to go.

And when you stand you get to admire the shit you just dropped
Jan 12 2011 5:43PM
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3-6-steeze
Posts: 1135 - Karma: 146
Sitting's better. I don't think i have ever wiped shit on my cheek trying to view the toilet paper, and it's more comfortable.
Jan 12 2011 5:43PM
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P3TER
Posts: 972 - Karma: 438
Click for larger image
Jan 12 2011 5:55PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
i'm a sitter
i guess i've just figured shit out (no pun intended) and don't get shit on my hands/asscheeks/anythingbutpaper anymore
Jan 12 2011 5:56PM
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bkap
Posts: 446 - Karma: 23
.
Jan 12 2011 6:02PM
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IanAdams
Posts: 281 - Karma: 89
My bad. never seen that movie.

As for the wiping at hand, I used to stand up til like 6th grade. I had just not known any other wiping method but yes it does seem really fucking weird now that i think about it
Jan 12 2011 6:03PM
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trettzilla
Posts: 931 - Karma: 29
why would anyone stand up when they wipe? thats retarded! i didn't even know people did this
Jan 12 2011 6:05PM
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D1X
Posts: 402 - Karma: 16
It's better for sure
Jan 12 2011 6:07PM
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pounds.
Posts: 837 - Karma: 55
I do squats. When I wipe I get in the chair sitting position while fully supporting myself without touching the toilet seat, so as to still get all the poopiness that would otherwise be unreachable if standing. Then upon observation of the towellete, I stand and check if more wipes are needed. By the end of a days worth of pooping sessions I have strengthened my thighs.
Jan 12 2011 6:07PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,658
i stand!

flamesuit on
Jan 12 2011 6:08PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
NO joke I was talking about this with some kid in 6th period yesterday.

People who stand up are absolutely shocked to hear that people sit down, and those who sit are shocked that people stand.

It's a weird phenomenon where people always assume their method is the norm, and thus it is almost never discussed.

When I found out people stood and wiped, I was weirded out as well.
Jan 12 2011 6:14PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
currently studying in industrial engineering, i would have to agree with this statement.

on a different note, i found out that some people actually wipe from the front. thats fucked, i always assumed everyone reached from the back
Jan 12 2011 6:15PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36673 - Karma: 110,531
Now that sounds unhealthy. Poo on your ballbag sounds fucking nasty. And it gets all stuck up on your gooch hairs.
Jan 12 2011 6:17PM
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shrEddie
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 65
so you dont raise up at all? where does your hand go?
Jan 12 2011 6:17PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
try wiping with your off hand! that shits hard!
Jan 12 2011 6:18PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
there has to be a slight side tilt/lift, but 1 cheek is always in contact with the bowl
Jan 12 2011 6:20PM
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-Dan
Posts: 7086 - Karma: 50,474
i shit standing, then sit to wipe.
Jan 12 2011 6:20PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
I was a stander till I was like 12, then I saw the light...
Only problem is sitting tends to break toilet seats, but its the price you pay for clean cheeks.

P.S. currently pooping so I had to click this thread...
Jan 12 2011 6:26PM
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[creative]
Posts: 539 - Karma: 128

im a sitter and didnt know standing was a thing?!

Jan 12 2011 6:27PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
wat
Jan 12 2011 6:37PM
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LoftyLawnChair
Posts: 846 - Karma: 220
The half squat method is dominant. You get necessary access to all parts and you can check your wipe

with ease. Also, you dont get shit on your hand
Jan 12 2011 6:41PM
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B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 360
my thoughts exactly
haha
Jan 12 2011 6:50PM
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HermioneGranger
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 101
I'll bottle your mind.
Jan 12 2011 6:52PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851
standing is a method?
Jan 12 2011 6:54PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
Dude all that weight on one cheek does mad damage to any seat. Haven't you ever seen a seat where one side is attached and the other side is broken? Well depending if you are lefty or righty, you are straining one side or the other way more and eventually that joint is going to break, leading to awkward sliding back and forth of the seat as you go in for the wipe.

I speak truth.
Jan 12 2011 6:54PM
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LMPJibbin
Posts: 1607 - Karma: 17
exactly why the method is retarded
Jan 12 2011 6:54PM
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teleak
Posts: 2251 - Karma: 105
I honestly didn't know that people wipe sitting down, holy shit.
Jan 12 2011 6:55PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
you just dont know how to distribute the weight properly. you have to lean, but still make sure the force acting upon the seat is directed as straight down as possible instead of diagonally, which puts strain on the joints holding the seat and cracks them. you might see this type of damage in a public washroom where lots of poopers using the wrong technique constantly show up. however, the type of damage aformentioned is quite uncommon in the modern day home washroom.
Jan 12 2011 7:02PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
granted, however I'm often forced to rush my wiping as I am usually late for class, and my technique definitely suffers. I am also in the unfortunate position of living in cheap college housing. My toilet seat was likely last replaced around the mid 90's.
Jan 12 2011 7:08PM
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B4NE1
Posts: 876 - Karma: 16
https://newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/594144/
Jan 12 2011 7:18PM
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B4NE1
Posts: 876 - Karma: 16
http://https://newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/594144/
Jan 12 2011 7:19PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
true true. however, a true pooper can quickly and efficiently poop in any circumstance
Jan 12 2011 7:20PM
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