Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Korny jokes that took you a secondd...

profile picture
DAS~SEND
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
I was drivin home the other day and this girl was hitch hiking with 1 leg, so i told her to hop in. Best of all her name was eileen.

took me a good 10 minutes to figure out the irony of this joke lmfao
Jan 6 2010 8:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
News to me. That's not the point anyways. The point is how retarded it is.
Jan 7 2010 11:07PM
0 0
profile picture
shragler
Posts: 572 - Karma: 32
mt
Jan 7 2010 11:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Spillway_East
Posts: 1127 - Karma: 374
Or this one:
#1 I just got a new henway!
#2 Whats a henway?
#1 10-15 pounds
#2 What?
Jan 7 2010 11:55PM
0 0
profile picture
uncleclimax
Posts: 76 - Karma: 41
what do tiger woods and baby seals have in common?

they both get clubbed by norwegians.
Jan 7 2010 11:59PM
0 0
profile picture
TeamJones
Posts: 629 - Karma: 12
What's the difference between jokes and pussy?
I don't get jokes.

I like my scotch the way i like my girls.
14 years old and on coke.
Jan 8 2010 12:14AM
0 0
profile picture
FapMasterFLEX
Posts: 608 - Karma: 333
So theres a Drunk, a Queer and a Car Thief.. and they are told that if they drink, screw a man or steal a car one more time they would be killed. So there all walking down the street and the Car thief sees a Lamborghini stopped with the keys in and the door open he runs over to it, gets in and POOF hes gone... So then the Queer and Drunk are at an intersection and the drunk sees a bottle of wine he bends down to get it and POOF The Faggot is gone..
Jan 8 2010 1:14AM
0 0
profile picture
gnar_bars
Posts: 107 - Karma: 10
Dont assume, it makes an ass out of you and me
Jan 8 2010 2:18AM
0 0
profile picture
Elusive..Tigers
Posts: 172 - Karma: 11
lmfao
this one soo funny
Jan 8 2010 1:45PM
0 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 36673 - Karma: 110,507
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender politely escorts him outside and promptly calls animal control.
Jan 8 2010 1:47PM
0 0
profile picture
OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
this =/= an anti-joke thread.
Jan 8 2010 1:55PM
0 0
profile picture
Elg
Posts: 2998 - Karma: 3,880
too bad his wife was swedish..
Jan 8 2010 4:48PM
0 0
profile picture
rexalicious.
Posts: 551 - Karma: 57
whats the difference between on a baby and an apple?
i dont jizz on my apples before i eat them.


Jan 8 2010 5:10PM
0 0
profile picture
spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
Two olives are in a tree one of them falls onto the ground, the other says 'olive'
Jan 8 2010 5:20PM
0 0
profile picture
cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851

a lawyer and a IRS agent are drowing

do you    a) read the newspaper      or       b) check your email

Jan 8 2010 5:34PM
0 0
profile picture
natirider10
Posts: 296 - Karma: 16
what does the ocean say to the boat?








nothing it just waves
Jan 8 2010 5:47PM
0 0
profile picture
cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851

how does a welshman find a sheep in tall grass

very satisfying

Jan 8 2010 6:34PM
0 0
profile picture
zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
i like these.


Jan 8 2010 6:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 86
A sign at a drug rehab center read "keep off the grass"

There's a hole in a nudist beach wall...police are looking into it
Jan 8 2010 8:32PM
0 0
profile picture
.travis.
Posts: 1737 - Karma: 46
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 8 2010 8:45PM
0 0
profile picture
wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
hahaha
Jan 8 2010 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
hahahahahahahah i died.
Jan 8 2010 9:23PM
0 0
profile picture
Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
hahahaha yes!!!!
Jan 8 2010 9:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Barsevskis
Posts: 183 - Karma: 138
whats black and rhymes with snoop???






dr. dre
Jan 8 2010 9:41PM
0 0
profile picture
aquinn
Posts: 824 - Karma: 217
two muffins in an oven
one muffin says to the other " god its hot in here"
the other says, "woah a talking muffin"

My british soccer coaches used to go nuts for that
Jan 8 2010 9:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 43
what do you call a cow that has two legs shorter than the other?


Lean beef!


Jan 8 2010 9:49PM
0 0
profile picture
bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
What happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea?








It gets wet.
Jan 8 2010 9:49PM
0 0
profile picture
SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
I don't get any of these.   Some1 explain all of them.
Jan 8 2010 9:54PM
0 0
profile picture
spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
these are all funny jokes! how can you not get any?
Jan 8 2010 10:05PM
0 0
profile picture
MikeTK
Posts: 549 - Karma: 126
hahaha i like this one
Jan 9 2010 3:08AM
0 0
profile picture
Turner.
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 11,881
what's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat?

the wheelchair.
Jan 9 2010 3:24AM
0 0
profile picture
EASTIE21
Posts: 278 - Karma: 21

A doctor is checking up on his mental patients. Opens the first door and there is a guy sitting in a chair acting as if he is driving a car frantically. The doctor asks what are you doing.  Guy reponds I'm going to drive right the fuck out of here. Doctor say ok and goes to the next door. Opens it up and finds this man frantically rowing a boat sitting in a chair.  Doctor asks what he is doing.  The man responds I'm going to row right out the front door of this fucking place.  Doctor says ok and goes to his third door. Opens it up and sees this man bouncing a peanut on his dick.  Doctor asks what he is doing and the man responds... I'm fucking nuts and I'm not going anywhere!!!

Jan 9 2010 3:50AM
0 0
profile picture
SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
Click for larger image
Jan 9 2010 9:16AM
0 0
profile picture
HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,679
you post way too much
Jan 9 2010 9:24AM
0 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
A squirrel walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender brings the beer and the squirrel says: "Give those ladies over there and yourself one as well!"

The bartender hapily accepts the beer and brings some over to the ladies as well.

A bit later the squirrel is in for another beer; he says to the bartender: "Give everybody a beer! and take one yourself!"

My oh my, the bartender has never had such a good customer, this must be one of the best nights for his bar ever!
The squirrel Starts partying and buying people drinks.
Every time he orders drinks for everyone he insists the bartender takes one for himself as well!

He Truly is the best squirrel EVER!
Everyone in the village loves the squirrel and wants to hang out with him!
Several beer kegs later the bar is about to close, everyone is going home.

The squirrel steps out as well and the bartender comes running after the squirrel and says he still has to pay the bill!

The squirrel replies: "Don't you know, squirrels don't pay for drinks!"
Long story short, the bartender beats up the squirrel...

The squirrel, all beaten up and bleeding retreats back into his hollow treetrunk to sleep out...

The next day the squirrel goes back to the bar.
All beaten up, he still has a broken tail, a black eye, crushed nuts (he was carrying some peanuts) and a broken paw.

The squirrel takes a seat at the bar and says to the bartender: Give me a beer and those ladies over there as well!
The bartender furiously replies: "Who the hell do you think you are?! coming in here and buying everybody drinks without paying; you didn't even give me a drink this time !"

The squirrel replies: "I don't give you drinks anymore; you get agressive when you've been drinking!"
Jan 9 2010 9:43AM
0 0
profile picture
D_War
Posts: 266 - Karma: 34
my sister told that one to my dad and he guessed
"Santa only cums once a year"
Jan 9 2010 10:13AM
0 0
profile picture
eli112233
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 15

What's the differnece between Jews and Boy Scouts?

Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Jan 9 2010 11:35PM
0 0
profile picture
DAS~SEND
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
hahahahhahahahhaha the funniest one on here
Jan 10 2010 1:49AM
0 0
profile picture
doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
why did the plane crash into the side of the mountain?













because the pilot was a loaf of bread
Jan 10 2010 2:15AM
0 0
profile picture
zerospinskier
Posts: 4867 - Karma: 350
I like my women like I like my coffee







All over my lap when I'm driving
Jan 10 2010 2:35AM
0 0
profile picture
OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
ground up inside a bag in the freezer.
Jan 10 2010 2:46AM
0 0
profile picture
ride_on
Posts: 317 - Karma: 33
i died on this one
Jan 10 2010 2:48AM
0 0
profile picture
Jahseph.
Posts: 1315 - Karma: 267

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and is promptly ordered to leave. So he goes out behind the bar and asks a hobo to tie him up and beat him.

He then walks back into the bar and the bartender asks  "Hey arent you the same piece of rope i just kicked out of here?"

To this the rope replies, "No, Im afraid not."

Jan 10 2010 3:50AM
0 0
profile picture
epic_line
Posts: 929 - Karma: 32
Why does tiger woods wear 2 condoms?



















































In case he gets a hole in 1
Jan 10 2010 4:58AM
0 0
profile picture
Chickendodo
Posts: 1426 - Karma: 33
I <3 Dead Baby jokes.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
I take my boots off before jumping on the trampoline.
Jan 10 2010 6:17AM
0 0
profile picture
steezology101
Posts: 200 - Karma: 12
Why do girls wear make up and perfume,
because their ugly and they smell bad.

Whats the difference between a rake and an axe,
you cant empty a truck full of dead babys with an axe.
Jan 10 2010 6:37AM
0 0
profile picture
Apresbang
Posts: 618 - Karma: 276
Ah dead baby jokes,

Whats more fun then nailing a baby to a wall?

Ripping it off again

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bin?

1 dead baby in 10 bins

And to end on a high note,

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field.
Jan 10 2010 8:02AM
0 0
profile picture
Afeld
Posts: 3516 - Karma: 84
q) whats a pirates favorite type of movie?
a) PAAHHRRRRRRN
Jan 10 2010 10:09AM
0 0
profile picture
factory81
Posts: 3967 - Karma: 63
my jokes are like cheetos

dangerously cheesy


Jan 10 2010 10:34AM
0 0
profile picture
MikeTK
Posts: 549 - Karma: 126
do you like your coffee black as well?
Jan 10 2010 6:56PM
0 0
profile picture
MikeTK
Posts: 549 - Karma: 126
whats the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a ferrari?
























i don't have a ferrari in my garage! 
Jan 10 2010 6:59PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)