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a lawyer and a IRS agent are drowing
do you a) read the newspaper or b) check your email
how does a welshman find a sheep in tall grass
A doctor is checking up on his mental patients. Opens the first door and there is a guy sitting in a chair acting as if he is driving a car frantically. The doctor asks what are you doing. Guy reponds I'm going to drive right the fuck out of here. Doctor say ok and goes to the next door. Opens it up and finds this man frantically rowing a boat sitting in a chair. Doctor asks what he is doing. The man responds I'm going to row right out the front door of this fucking place. Doctor says ok and goes to his third door. Opens it up and sees this man bouncing a peanut on his dick. Doctor asks what he is doing and the man responds... I'm fucking nuts and I'm not going anywhere!!!
What's the differnece between Jews and Boy Scouts?
Boy Scouts come back from camp.
A piece of rope walks into a bar, and is promptly ordered to leave. So he goes out behind the bar and asks a hobo to tie him up and beat him.
He then walks back into the bar and the bartender asks "Hey arent you the same piece of rope i just kicked out of here?"
To this the rope replies, "No, Im afraid not."