I'd like some mature advice here, hopefully other people have experienced something like this and can help get me started in the right direction. If you don't plan on reading this, don't post in the thread...it's that simple
To put it in short terms, I would say I'm stuck in a rut right now. My parents pay a ridiculous amount of money for me to go to a prestigious boarding school, and, from my and their perspectives, that money is going to waste. I engage in the bare minimum of activities. I go to class and do a half assed job on what's required and don't do much that isn't required. I have about an 85 average and I would say I don't work hard at all, I do a half assed job on my homework if I even do it. Now I am a smart person /claim, and I have the ability to have about a 92 average, I just find no motivation to do my work. If i totally bomb a test I freak out at the time and then when the time comes to study for the next test, I put it off and do other shit instead. My parents have finally told me that if i don't get my shit together that they will not pay for me to continue to go to school where I do.
I would say I spend about 8 hours a day on the computer to be perfectly honest with myself. I'm hurt so I can't do any sports except ride a stationary bike for 40 mins a day. One would think because of my free time I would do something useful...yet I continue to waste time on the computer. I find myself going to bed at like 1 am having done very little homework, and I look back on my evening and think wtf did I do. I go out and do stuff with friends but not constantly for a lot of time.
I am finishing my sophomore year of high school and this is continuing about a year and a half period where I've been in this rut. I used to be interested in things, I used to do my work, I used to be an active member of the communities I was involved in. Now I don't do shit. When thinking about my summer plans I realized I have no idea what I want to do. I don't feel as though I'm interested in anything aside from skiing, which, don't get me wrong I love more than anything, but it's not such a heavy passion that it's diverting me from other things. So if asked what my perfect spring day would be, I would have no ideas that would truly excite me and make me strive to achieve that. I find I rarely look forward to things and my way of dealing with that is by buying things and anticipating their arrivals. That is possibly the worst habit I could ever think of.
I know it's time for a change and from the outside it's incredibly easy for me to see what's wrong but when push comes to shove I have no idea where to start. I feel like there's something inside me that's blocking me from making a change. I'm not incredibly happy with my situation now, but it works, it's comfortable and steady but at the same time I'm wasting my life away. I wouldn't say I'm depressed because I'm not generally down in the dumps, it's more that I'm just taking everything that's given to me for granted and wasting it away as I sit on the computer and don't do my work.
So I'm not trying to be a spoiled asshole, but from reading this I'm sure most of you think I sound like that. I would love to make a change but I have no idea where to start, all I do is just yes my parents when they have conversations with me about this stuff. So if anyone here has gone through this or has some ideas about what would help, it would go a long way, but basically it just helps to get this off my chest. I need to somehow stop the inactivity and start taking action and not live my life so passively