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March, 2024

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Stuck in a rut...

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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
I'd like some mature advice here, hopefully other people have experienced something like this and can help get me started in the right direction. If you don't plan on reading this, don't post in the thread...it's that simple

To put it in short terms, I would say I'm stuck in a rut right now. My parents pay a ridiculous amount of money for me to go to a prestigious boarding school, and, from my and their perspectives, that money is going to waste. I engage in the bare minimum of activities. I go to class and do a half assed job on what's required and don't do much that isn't required. I have about an 85 average and I would say I don't work hard at all, I do a half assed job on my homework if I even do it. Now I am a smart person /claim, and I have the ability to have about a 92 average, I just find no motivation to do my work. If i totally bomb a test I freak out at the time and then when the time comes to study for the next test, I put it off and do other shit instead. My parents have finally told me that if i don't get my shit together that they will not pay for me to continue to go to school where I do.

I would say I spend about 8 hours a day on the computer to be perfectly honest with myself. I'm hurt so I can't do any sports except ride a stationary bike for 40 mins a day. One would think because of my free time I would do something useful...yet I continue to waste time on the computer. I find myself going to bed at like 1 am having done very little homework, and I look back on my evening and think wtf did I do. I go out and do stuff with friends but not constantly for a lot of time.

I am finishing my sophomore year of high school and this is continuing about a year and a half period where I've been in this rut. I used to be interested in things, I used to do my work, I used to be an active member of the communities I was involved in. Now I don't do shit. When thinking about my summer plans I realized I have no idea what I want to do. I don't feel as though I'm interested in anything aside from skiing, which, don't get me wrong I love more than anything, but it's not such a heavy passion that it's diverting me from other things. So if asked what my perfect spring day would be, I would have no ideas that would truly excite me and make me strive to achieve that. I find I rarely look forward to things and my way of dealing with that is by buying things and anticipating their arrivals. That is possibly the worst habit I could ever think of.

I know it's time for a change and from the outside it's incredibly easy for me to see what's wrong but when push comes to shove I have no idea where to start. I feel like there's something inside me that's blocking me from making a change. I'm not incredibly happy with my situation now, but it works, it's comfortable and steady but at the same time I'm wasting my life away. I wouldn't say I'm depressed because I'm not generally down in the dumps, it's more that I'm just taking everything that's given to me for granted and wasting it away as I sit on the computer and don't do my work.

So I'm not trying to be a spoiled asshole, but from reading this I'm sure most of you think I sound like that. I would love to make a change but I have no idea where to start, all I do is just yes my parents when they have conversations with me about this stuff. So if anyone here has gone through this or has some ideas about what would help, it would go a long way, but basically it just helps to get this off my chest. I need to somehow stop the inactivity and start taking action and not live my life so passively
May 15 2009 6:06PM
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00000000
Posts: 11075 - Karma: 82,508
Stop spending 8 hours a day on the computer...

You'll find more productive things to do once you achieve that goal
May 15 2009 6:09PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
i think maybe the change of surroundings would do you some good. The environment you are currently in clearly doesn't seem to be working for you, and if you don't care for where you are, motivation etc will all drop.

Other than that...really...i don't know. Could be a variety of things.
May 15 2009 6:12PM
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FMeissner
Posts: 490 - Karma: 85
I don't know what to say, because in the end it's up to you.
May 15 2009 6:33PM
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chapz
Posts: 10182 - Karma: 66
stop spending so much time on the computer, try and stay motivated for school and for your future career.

be a yes man, look how happy it made jim carrey, it can work for you! hah
May 15 2009 6:38PM
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ski@jaypeak2
Posts: 2800 - Karma: 394
stuck down in a rut
of dislogic and smut
a side of you well hid
when it's all said and done
it's real and it's been fun
but was it all REAL fun?

lets nuke the bridge we torched two thousand times before
this time we'll blast it all to hell
i've had this burning in my guts now for so long
my belly's aching now to say..say..

you're just a fuck
i can't explain it 'cause i think you suck
im taking pride
in telling you to fuck off and die
May 15 2009 6:38PM
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rvca
Posts: 311 - Karma: 13

i was is this same exact rut. i just stated doing my homework after school with one of my best friends who has the same classes and the two of us got motivated and started doing our work. also geting enough sleep and getting a lot of exersixe will just make you feel better in general. at leat it did for me

May 15 2009 6:47PM
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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,978
Set some limits and goals for yourself. Such as... after school hours I will get all my homework and studying done to the best of my ability before I use the computer. And... I will only use the computer for X hours a day (pick your number, keep it reasonable, DEFINITELY less than 8.. haha).

It's all about self control man. It's easy for some, and a lot harder for others. You need to have the will to change, though.
May 15 2009 6:59PM
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ElChapoTrapHaus
Posts: 1250 - Karma: 38
well one way to look at it, is your parents are investing in your future. Coming out of a boarding school with good marks, makes it very easy to get into most schools of your choice. School isn't really about filling your head up with useless trivia, its more about obtaining the ability to learn and retain information. Those skills will follow you where ever you want to take you life, from full time ski bum, to some real profession like engineer/doctor etc.
Don't think of yourself as spoiled, be optimistic. You are fortunate, and your parents are tying to afford you the easiest way to be 'successful' in america. Which is education.
The best way i would look at it is, how are you going to change the world?

for short term help to get out of the rut, maybe find some creative mediums to express yourself.  Brilliant people that don't share their ideas and talent are a bit selfish. Most creative arts in school are usually forced projects. Try creating something for yourself. No grades, no deadlines, just art.
It could be anything, painting, music, photo, video, editing. Fuck man i have even heard some wicked good playlists i personally consider art because they are so good. 

Long story short, take as much as you can from your life, then give even more back.  You get out of it what you put into it.
May 15 2009 7:15PM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2430 - Karma: 1,443
i sort of have the same problem. all i ever want to do is ski. but i live in illinois so thats hard enough already. so what i do is either jump on a trampoline which gets me active and when i do exercise (even though you cant) i find i can get all my homework done much quicker. i also film things, and then wait for skiing to come and then film skiing, try to do things that INVOLVE skiing but arent necasarily skiing.
May 15 2009 7:42PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,398
but then who will my PM buddy be?!?!?!?!?!
May 15 2009 7:43PM
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Skiingslikewhoa
Posts: 426 - Karma: 12
So what your like 16? get over it.
May 15 2009 7:57PM
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fireballin
Posts: 392 - Karma: 13
you spend 8 hours a day on the computer but have no real passion besides skiing? I know your hurt and all but there are tons of things you can get into depending on where you live. get out a little more. spend more time w freinds. get into to shit, find something you like doing besides sitting on the computer.
May 15 2009 8:33PM
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Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98

I have been feeling like that, as a Freshman in College.  All except the angry parents/grades part.

I am off for the whole summer and I am just clearing my mind by moving back in, and just making everything really organized.  I also help my parents out a lot, and I do an OCD job with anything they ask me to do now, its like a way of meditating.

Instead of wasting time on the computer, crochet, organize your sneaker collection, longboard, work out, go running, ride a bike, go for a hike, just fucking lay in the grass with your buds and smoke some weed, clean your car up, get a new haircut, grow a beard, invent your own trailmix, try and see how much time you can spend out of your room.

Basically, do any little activity, any hobby, anything you can think of, because life is too good to spend it rotting in your room.

Since I couldnt do my homework high, I would tell myself;  "Okay, get today's ration of studying/HW done, then I'll roll one and go for a walk with some friends and burn it.  Then I will go play frisbee and then we could go to the gas station for a snack, fuck around some more, then go out to eat.

I noticed you said that you would buy stuff and anticipate its arrival.  You just need to think of something great to do, use the homework as a fence to jump over, get your work done, and then go have fun.  Trick yourself a little and get motivated.

May 15 2009 8:38PM
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Turner.
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 11,881

DUDE
what song is this??

May 15 2009 8:44PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
i think that happened to me too
May 15 2009 8:48PM
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Six.0.Tree-ski
Posts: 4059 - Karma: 67
do you have a girlfriend?
May 15 2009 8:53PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
you pretty much described the last year of my life. except i dont spend 8 hours a day on the computer. maybe 4. but still, i know what youre talking about, but summers almost here, so ill be able to chill with my friends and smoke a shitload of trees and itll be chillin.
May 15 2009 9:02PM
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GhostfaceKillah
Posts: 3398 - Karma: 10
so you're a sophomore and you're already down on life? you're probably around 16 years old... go out and enjoy being young while you still can. "setting goals" and "achieving" are for the grown-ups. School obviously comes pretty easy to you (like most non-inbred teens), and uni/college is still 2-3 years away. You're still a kid so go out and be a kid. Meet girls, touch boobies, drink your first beer, smoke dope, chill out and enjoy the good life while you still can (it's up to you to define "the good life", that we cannot do for you).
May 15 2009 9:07PM
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hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
green day - f.o.d.
May 15 2009 9:11PM
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7-3instacall
Posts: 999 - Karma: 1,005
Yah, i'm kind a bit like you, but who cares, get a job and start making money, that what I do
May 15 2009 11:24PM
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Faggghkxd
Posts: 1163 - Karma: 13
Wow that was depressing, I guess I have the motivation to do a lot of stuff, I go to an extremely hard private school right by my house that requires a ton of work to be done.  I'm not the smartest kid there is and I am  not azn, so i work pretty hard and I have really good grades.  I would say to find other things besides skiing to get by, hang out with friends etc.  Get a mod to ban you from ns for a month see how that works haha.
May 15 2009 11:30PM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 52
click the big X in the top right corner of your browser as soon as you read this sentence.
May 15 2009 11:32PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
i'm starting to get more into photography, i just went out this evening and took a bunch of shots for like an hour and it helped, i think it's partially a change of scene thing for me, my room is like a black hole, nothing productive happens there, i just need to get out of my room more i think
May 15 2009 11:33PM
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BigRodRiley
Posts: 1265 - Karma: 36
learn how to do something that is cheap (since ur a kid) and get some friends to do it with you, and you will have fun, no worries man everyone goes through this sometime in their life
May 15 2009 11:51PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
should i go out and buy a pc first....?
May 15 2009 11:52PM
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Six.0.Tree-ski
Posts: 4059 - Karma: 67
haha that made my night
May 16 2009 12:42AM
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SkierX
Posts: 16253 - Karma: 538
I would not worry about it. I was a major slacker all through high school, took a few years off from school and returned once I had a goal set. I like to consider myself an intelligent person. I was however extremely unmotivated until I had an actual goal that I found to be worth working towards.
May 16 2009 1:13AM
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BigM1218
Posts: 998 - Karma: 13
honestly, i really really hate to say it, but NS may be killing you inside. dude your just a sophomore and you spend 8 hours a day on the computer and have over 7000 post on here, like comon man just get away from it. your in high school, you should be partying. smoke some weed, drink some brew, chill with friends, get a girlfriend to waste time and money with (that will solve your bad buying habit, i guarantee it), idk man pick up a hobby and dont over think things. just get the work you have to do done and have some fun. i honestly cant speak from experience cuz ive never felt like this, but for me, getting outside and enjoying nature and friends is always a good way to feel better when your down. I'm into photography as well and it could really help you! its the perfect hobby to get you out of this. go out and just take pics of everything and anything that you like. you'll be surprised how much time you can spend just shooting shit.
May 16 2009 1:59AM
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Willard
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 429
My advice get outside more take hikes and shoot nature photography. Find a girl or for that matter more friends. Take classes that appeal to you, if your in some fancy bording school im guessing theres alot of options.
May 16 2009 2:08AM
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Bob_Gnarley
Posts: 1583 - Karma: 0
lol we have a winner! seriously was that just a novel you wrote, no_steeze?
May 16 2009 2:33AM
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paige.
Posts: 1930 - Karma: 907
I was just thinking you needed a change of scene... if you are away from your computer you won't feel the need to be on it.
I think your best bet is to find something to do this summer. You could go on some sort of trip (volunteer abroad ones look great on a resume) that would get you away from your computer and you would get to try all sorts of new things, meet new people etc. Just getting a job could also work...
May 16 2009 2:50AM
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Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 149
Identifying what you have is half the battle..there are plenty of people that take shit for granted and have no idea, or just don't realise it

May 16 2009 3:01AM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 52
touché
May 16 2009 3:11AM
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teebs-jr
Posts: 128 - Karma: 29
ya
May 16 2009 9:52AM
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crazyfuck
Posts: 5968 - Karma: -7
serious question...

do you smoke weed?

i smoke as much as i can get my hands on and i noticed it turn my life into exactly what you described... only i was in college. i ended up leaving college after 7 semesters (i had changed my major after 4 or 5, so i still had a way to go), moved to Las Vegas- the drug capital of North America, i promise you- and something really weird happened. i started getting more and more into electronic music (i've always had music in my life, just never this kinda music) and ended up at the Art Institute of Las Vegas studying audio production. now, instead of sitting in algebra or biology, i'm going to Intro to the Music Industry and Sound Design classes... needless to say, i'm no longer in that rut. my advice, post high school, would be the cliche bullshit of "find something you love"... you've probably heard something like that a million times, but from the sound of it, you need to find something that feels more like an "activity" than goddamn motherfucking school. when i'm out at the end of a runway at the airport with a shotgun microphone aimed at the back of an accelerating 747, let me assure you, i don't feel like i'm doing homework. find something that makes you feel like, "damn, i'd be doing this anyway if they'd let me" and see what you can do with it.
May 16 2009 10:22AM
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B.Snow
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 92


I went through the exact same thing, except I got to the next level and got depressed. This year was my second year in college and I was at about an 80 average while not doing any homework and putting in the most minimal effort level ever. I was going to bed at 1-2 am every night and wondering what the fuck I had gotten done that night that was even somewhat productive. Skiing had been my outlet and my get away for my whole life but I started getting thoughts that I was getting too old to go anywhere with it and thinking that I sucked. I'm a good skier/ claim, but everyday I would come home from the ski hill I would feel like shit and hate skiing for no reason. There were also days where I'd go to the hill for like an hour than get sad and just go home no matter how good I was skiing.

anyway... Come the end of march this year I decided to drop out of school and take a break. I started working and here I am. I don't really feel any better, still shitty. The only positive thing that I've learned is that I'd much rather be in school than working at a golf course and starting work at 5am every day.

I plan on going back to school next year to finish my last semester but I don't know how to get back into skiing. I want to like it but it just isn't the same as it was before. Skiing used to be my life and gave me everything, but in the past season it hasn't done shit for me, and I have no outlet or way to express myself (that sounds homo but its true)...

sorry if that's just me on a depression rant

May 16 2009 10:23AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
^^i don't feel depressed at all though, most of the time i feel pretty happy it's just come time to do homework i don't want to do any and i don't feel interested in everything

i'm working on a girl now and it's making good progress which helps with my time and so does photography. i've at least started buying camera stuff instead of just random things
May 16 2009 12:32PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
Should help you get out of a rut, Alex.

Click for larger image
May 16 2009 12:45PM
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bobo25
Posts: 176 - Karma: 10
I felt the same way in my Sophomore year in High School and i found that when i took harder classes, i did much better and i was less inclined to waste my time away. I know it sounds lame, but if you try taking some classes that are tough for you, they might push you to want to succeed in them, thus you spend less time doing nothing and more time focusing on what you should be doing. Then, for me at least, i felt i could reward myself with partying or playing hockey or skiing when i did well, and that way i felt like it was an accomplishment to work hard, because i got to go do something i really liked.
  Also, what other sports do you play? if you don't, try to pick one up. I found that when i did multiple things ( Hockey, skiing, school) i was much more busy, so doing school work or whatever didnt feel like so much of a chore. I dont know if this will work for you, but it did for me.
May 16 2009 12:46PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
yeah my classes are boring as fuck this year, all busy work and i hate them
i play lots of sports i'm just hurt now so i can't do shit
May 16 2009 12:55PM
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bobo25
Posts: 176 - Karma: 10
Yea being hurts sucks, ive been there. You said you go to a boarding school, so maybe try ( if you can) changing the place that you live? i dont know if thats possible, but i might be that you are getting bored with your living environment, so a change to something different or at least less stagnant could help. or, if you really like it where you go to school, try scaring the shit out of yourself with the fact that you wont be able to go there next year if you dont preform.
May 16 2009 1:03PM
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dbstar
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 20
not to be an asshole but your not in a rut your just lazy
May 16 2009 2:34PM
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RRhighrider
Posts: 2137 - Karma: 1,105
i have had this porblem when i was injured except i was old enough to drink and just drank and did drugs all day and almost got kicked out of college.  after surgery when i was finally able to use my leg again i put all my energy into recovering so i could ski hard again. this also made me more motivated to do school work too. having a goal took me out of my rut.  i think the hardest part is when you are use to being outside and being active when you can not be active you get unmotivated and depressed.  in the end you need to find what drives you to excel and focus on doing whatever it take to make it happen.  high school is mostly bs so if changing schools is what you need i might be really good for you.
May 16 2009 2:35PM
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