This is long and overdue. You know the drill! If you meet any of the following criteria, you are special...and should exit this thread immediately.
1. If you don't like to read things longer than 3 paragraphs...LEAVE!
2. If you have trouble detecting oozeing sarcasm...LEAVE!
3. If you can't take my stuff with a grain of salt...LEAVE!
4. If you hate material that could the least bit thought provoking...LEAVE!
5. If you hold some silly grudge against me...(especially prevalent here)...LEAVE!
6. Finally, if your IQ does not exceed the total sum of the six numbers in this disclaimer, thats 1+2+3+4+5+6 for you slower folk...LEAVE!
Please do your best to comply with these six rules, you have been warned. Remember, God clubs a baby seal every time you break one of these rules. When in doubt, just think of the cuddly little seals.
You know, Its extremely rare when I call out individual people...unless they're celebrities. Today, however, I am making a monuments exception. Seeing as the old Golden Wheelchair award is as extinct as the dinosaur, I feel it is my responsibility as a proud NSer...nay, my CIVIC DUTY to belittle the exceptional assclownery that has pledged NSG for the last month and a half.
I won't name names because thats not really necessary. Instead I'll just give you a clue, kinda like a game show. Get your wagers in kids, because the Final Jeopardy answer is... Starts with "FuckTh" and ends with "ePolice." Don't forget to answer in the form of a question.
What is _____________ ?
This said person is now officially at the at the very top of the Stupidest People of NS List! Congratufuckinglations! You've dethroned d-loc and have surpassed him exponentially. I honesty didn't think it was possible. For one because people THAT stupid are rarer than a dick at a dyke bar; for another that d-loc never took himself completely seriously. FuckThePolice (oops) however does take himself completely seriously. Whats even more amazing is the fact that everyone in his knowledge camp also take themselves seriously. Well at least they have each other.
Obviously this extreme orgy of stupid is highlighted the 9-11 "conspiracy" theories. We all know the stories...varying explanations and speculations about pentagon missiles, controlled detonations, paid off Arabs, trained government officials, etc, etc, etc. All of these sort of things have been covered in numerous threads, so numerous in fact, that I will put out a writ on the next person that creates another sincere one. That is a written threat...IF I SEE ANY OF YOU MAKE ONE, A NINJA PIRATE ASSASSIN FROM SPACE WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING KILL YOU!!! STRAIT UP EXECUTION STYLE BITCH!!!!!!!
Anyway...if your looking for a point-by-point dismantling on my behalf, don’t hold your breath. I don't have time for that shit. Mainly because no matter how utterly and completely I can annihilate the argument, FTP is so dead-fast and stubborn that he will never yield to ANYTHING. I couldn't prove the existence of gravity to this kid. He's really that stupid. On top of this chronic nincompoopery, he crates a circular argument. In brief, when one of his pillars of argument is ripped down, he'll immediately run to the next one, then to the next one, then to the next one, eventually he will run back to the original argument and pretend nothing happened before. This is a very easy thing to do, especially with this 9-11 argument because there is an infinite amount of crap that can be dug up on the web. Have you ever tried to Google it? Simply type 9-11 Conspiracy Theories into the bar and you will get 41 million results.
With so many results, its almost impossible to run out of "facts." Not true! FTP has proven it is possible because he'll drive only about 3 points home. All I gotta say is, if you're going to argue bullshit, please do it well. YOU HAVE FAILED GRASSHOPPER!!!
Another thing that is problematic with his argument is that his sources are complete bunk. His information comes from no-name "experts" that spew shit on internet blogs and message boards. To further his self inflicting wounds, he’ll scoff at sources like the 9-11 Commission and Popular Mechanics. Apparently zit-faced fat-assed bloggers from Buttfuck, Nowhere are more reputable than scientists and a federal investigation panel. I'd also like to add that the cute little tyke hasn't even read the entire 9-11 Commissions's report. FTP uses SOLELY internet based resources, this an absolutely preposterous way of creating a serious argument. And you know why? Because any goat fucking jackhole with a computer can create a website and POST WHATEVER RANDOM RABBIT SH!T they want.
His personal favorite is some asshat named Ryan Dawson who runs a site called "anti-neocons.com" (if thats not a politically biased site, I’m having a 4-way circle jerk with the Steve Irwin, Bob Ross, and Don Knotts right now...RIGHT NOW!!!). This Dawson character is and anonymous armchair activist. He has a book, an internet forum, and is a self-proclaimed expert and a patriot (i.e. a community college graduate with and extreme left slant). The front page of his site is priceless, if his political prowess is as shoddy is his skills with HTML he's as useful as a dead kitten in a bucket of Windex. I can forgive him if he doesn't have the time to create a decent webpage, because I'm sure he's busy doing important stuff...say, what does this guy do anyway? Oddly enough, he has nothing on his site about him. No bio, no referrals, no background about his job or education, and no political party affiliation...NOTHING! In fact, this guy is so far off the fucking radar that he doesn't pop up in a quick web search. This internet jockey doesn't even aappear on the first page when I specifically Google his name, his site is nowhere to be found, and the only time he does pop up is because his book is available on Amazon.com. You need to look damn hard to find this guy. So I am inclined to ask FuckThePolice how the bloody hell he found this guy?
I mean, Christ on a jetbike dude! Its like taking candy from a stranger and then getting into his unmarked black van.
Dawson: "Now close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."
Dawson: "Now hold still."
FTP: "You're unzipping my pants?"
Dawson: "Shhhhh, you're being struck by a smooth criminal."
In case you didn't notice FuckThePolice, you got ass raped by a stranger...and you liked it. Thats why you want more. And thats why you continue to build your argument shanty around this random bozo.
"R0FLZorz, juSt try anD DebatE TeH Polliticallllll111 wit hIm, He s VERy SmArt and WiLL $how you Wat hes talKING ab00t!!!1111!”
Hitler was also very good at persuading people, but unlike Dawson, Hitler was able to seduce an entire population rather than just a handful of gullible adolescents like you. My point here is, if you’re going to claim a source, at least do your fucking home work. FAILURE!
I know you'll still believe him. You'll still believe him because is has a cult following. "Its part of the 9-11 Conspiracy Movement."
THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY MOVEMENT IDIOTS!!!!!!!
Movement implies that it is going somewhere. The only movement I see it the one way train ticket to Loonyville. There have been no demonstrations, no political motion, NO SIGN OF LIFE HOUSTON!!!!! The only thing that exists are meager discussions on the fringes of the internet! THAT IS NOT A MOVEMENT!!!!!!!!!!
I know you might be saying “Buttt teh St00pid Ne0-C0n, ur nOt s7ayiNg on teh top1C!!” “U HavNT pw00ved n e 0f my po!nts Teh wrong!!!"
Theres no need to prove you points wrong because the concept itself is as fundamentally faulty as door locks on 24 hour 7-11. The things that Mitch, Patty and myself keep beating into your empty skull is the fact that you cannot distinguish:
1. Burden of Proof
3. Purity of Information
4. Factual Misconceptions
5. Inability of Establish a Clear Motive
By using the grey sack of meat in my skull refered to by most as a brain, these are things that are REQUIRED to have a solid and believable argument! Imagine...logic in an argument! Le gasp! I do commend you persistence and determination in acting like a total boob and continuing to humiliate yourself here. I'd give you a shovel to dig the idiot hole deeper, but it looks like you already have a full blown MINING operation going on here.
You know I was honestly considering creating a conspiracy thread of my own as a direct parody of this moronic drudgery. I however fended off this urge because:
a) It would require a good amount a time digging up a piece of shit theory that is as intricate and ridiculous as yours.
b) You dickheads just aren't worth that much time to me. Its even a stretch writing this rant about your asinine antics.
Aw what the hell...life is short. You impotent dipshits want a conspiracy? Here you fucking go...
ThEY’rere is a S3cREt c1ty under teH Denver International Airport!!! AND...iTs teh headquarters for The New World Order!!!111111!!111!!!1 H-Sh!t-OFGROFLcopterZORzZz!!111111111!!!
The New World Order is an organization with the goal of ruling the world, and have already gone to great links to control much of it. They are a collusion of secret societies, such as Freemasons, Skull & Bones, and Illuminati. In order to spread their evil domination for no apparent reason, they have built a host of secret underground facilities.
One of the largest of these facilities is directly under the Denver International Airport. The signs of the secret societies are apparent throughout the faculty.
Why else did the airport take so long to complete? Why is it so far way from the city? Why does that baggage system have so many problems? Why do the runways look like a swastika? Why are there hidden symbols everywhere? Don't you see, it all ties together! Just looks at these photos:
Whats wrong with the way that grass is cut on the south end of the main terminal? It looks like the pyramid. Obviously this a clue left by The New World Order.
Why is there a patten of dots along the ground? They are not close to any buildings. Whats their purpose? Obviously they're air ducts coming form the underground city!
If that wasn't enough, this video sums it up nicely!
Clearly there is a large underground city beneath DIA. I respect your opinion if you disagree with me, though you are wrong. I am an expert on the situation because I have read so heavily on the subject. I have determined through Google that these photos and links are THE MOST reliable sources of information anywhere.
If you still don't believe me, I suggest you email this guy I know. His name is Dan and he works at the Panda Express in Concourse A. I've talked to him and he sounds really smart. He told me that there is a city under the airport and there are secret doors throughout the airport. I asked Dan why The New World Order put all of the clues throughout the airport to make it so blatantly obvious that it would never feasibly work in real life at all? Why couldn't they just conceal the city without all of symbols and murals making it look like there is a huge fucking neon sign that says "Bad Guy Hideout!" in bright bold letters? Dan told me it was because it made people who unmasked the truth look like conspiracy nuts. Now who could argue with that? He's so smart.
If you don't believe me, talk to Dan. He can counter any point you have. He's so smart and so am I. If you still don't believe the DIA Conspiracy Movement, wait 5 years when the truth is unmasked. Did I mention I'm smarter than all of you and that any ground I take is the high ground and superior to whatever you do or say? Its true. Look it up. Ask Dan. All you non-believers are gullible puppets are being tricked by the government and The New World Order. You are Ann Coulter, Neo-con, Nazi lovers! Did I mention I'm right?
Okay, enough of that wet dream with the tin foil hat. Do you realize how retarded it sounds? Do you realize how retarded it makes you look?
If you believe the conspiracy I just wrote or the 9-11 conspiracy theories, you must have huffed enough paint thinner, glue, aerosol, and gasoline fumes throughout your childhood that you could make even Jessica Simpson sound educated.
Oh by the way....
ANOTHER AL-JAZEERA NEWSFLASH!!!
This is not a thread for discussing your worthless and debunked theories! It is a thread for discussing how stupid people like you really are!