Tired of injuries leaving you out for weeks or even the whole season? Well, I’ve got the solution for you: snowshoeing and later African drumming. It's virtually impossible to get injured; When was the last time you saw a news headline stating that a 22-year-old was fatally injured last week while snowshoeing?
There are are lots of unseen benefits to snowshoeing. For example have you ever seen some deep snow and wish you could walk on it? Yeah me neither… But now you can. You can also scope lines to hit, before realizing you’re on grandma's snow slippers and you aren't going anywhere. You can also try hitting natural jibs, but you might eat tree bark. Another unforeseen benefit is you might even make some new friends. Granted they might be 70 years old. Or a mountain man you swear could be related to that rabid coyote you once saw.
Some equipment is required and you could probably get it at your grandmas house. However your an ex- skibum so you’re already gear-obsessed and broke. Plus would you settle for ski gear used by Boone and Crockett. Snowshoes can be purchased at these fine retailers: L.L. Be-an-Environmentally-Aware-New Englander, Expensive Mountain Stuff, Dick’s Snobby Sporting Goods and your local Walmart. A golden retriever is also required but if you're into ski touring you've already got one of those. You should also bring a compass and a paper map which you can get at any antique store. Some food or survival rations are also a good idea. Clif bars are a great option because the birdseed they’re made of will expand when it hits water like an inflatable life raft, leaving you full for hours. When you inevitably get lost, you also have reading material because like every health bar, there's a story on the back about how one day when Jeff and Annie went rock climbing, they thought, wouldn’t it be great if we had some birdseed to eat right now! So unless you really want to know all 20 ingredients in a Clif bar, you better not get lost.
Disclaimer: One of the only actual benefits of snowshoeing is it makes you feel overweight and out of shape, making you want to exercise more.
Ask yourself this one simple question: Do you hate how people judge you based on your lifestyle? If you answered yes, then African drumming is for you. It's the only 'job' where people will be confused if you don't show up stoned, with dreads. You'll also work out of a van. perfect for those who already live in theirs to ski. That way no one will ever judge you again but don't tell them the van is actually your house or you might get some weird looks. Then to seem legit you need to make up a story about how once upon a time you visited an African tribe and they made the drums for you. Then you need to learn to play the drums. Or actually, you don’t because no one will question whether you're doing it right. Most importantly, you can't get hurt but you can get high.
Spark Notes: Don’t get hurt