Looks like Vail Resorts has sent some of its own troops to aid protestors in the Ukraine. Russia and Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych condoned Vail Resorts' move, claiming that, "Vail's ticket prices are high enough already and their lift-lines have gotten absurd. Along with these breaches of international law, when did they obtain the right to interfere with this Ukrainian conflict." Vail resorts responded with the statement, "We are currently the most powerful ski corporation in the world. We have a vested interest in Ukrainian stability, as they constitute 4% of our annual business. Russia does not have the right to suppress the rich skiers of Ukraine." There has been no official response by Russia, however there have been reports of Russian troop mobilizations to Breckinridge, Keystone, and Beaver Creek, preparing for what appears to be a final siege of Vail. After the recent catastrophe that was the winter olympics, it is no surprise that Vladimir Putin wants to annex the most successful ski network in the world to Russia. The only statement we got from a Breck liftie, as he loaded Russian troops onto the Imperial Express was, "Not really sure why there are all these Russians around, did Leo's Smoke Shack go bruh!?" A lifite from Beaver Creek responded, saying, "I mean, it's a little bit unusual, but it doesn't seem like many more Russians than usual." The violence at Keystone was too intense for us to enter the resort. At least 4 Vail ski ambassadors were killed yesterday as they attempted to fight off Ukrainian police and Russian troops with their skis and poles. At Independence square, Vail ski patrol tried to enforce a "slow zone"; however they could not find any ski passes to pull off of the Ukrainian's.

-Kiev Ukraine