This might be a series, it might be a one off… but given my median level of bitterness, the former seems more likely. This week’s subject: ski movies.

I’ve just spent seven days pretty much exclusively watching ski and snowboard films in order to judge for the High Five Festival, which led me to this rant. It contains some important takeaways for all the budding (and depressingly, also the established) filmmakers out there. Interestingly, at least a couple of them are things parents teach young children… somehow we never learn:

1) Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should

I’m all for the democratization of ski content. It’s amazing that everyone (at least everyone who can afford to ski) has access to the cameras and software required to make a ski movie, and that sites like ze ‘Tube provide an easy way to get them out there. But just because you can make a ski movie, doesn’t mean that you should. There are a LOT of bad ski movies out there, and it’s getting hard to find the gems among all the shit. Most of the genuine good stuff gets lost in the wash, particularly with 'brand movies' recycling the shots from all the movies into another dose of 'full lengths'. In fifty hours of watching, I barely feel like I barely scratched the surface of the totality of what is being put out, and the vast majority brings nothing new to the table and could just as well not have been made. On a related note, five shots and eight minutes of filler is not a ski film…

2) If you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything at all

Seriously, did your parents not teach you this? The amount of awful voiceovers and interviews in ski movies gets worse year-on-year. We fucking get it, the snow has just the right humidity to stick to steep faces in Alaska. You walked a long way to get to base camp? Cool so did everyone else (except TGR who flew in a heli, obviously). Shit, you fell and it hurt? Join the club. If you don’t have anything to say, just let the skiing do the talking? If it’s not enough on its own, I refer you to the previous point.

This goes doubly for movies with a theme. Ok, occasionally it works (Here, Hold My Kid was hilarious, check it out) but mostly, it seriously detracts from the skiing and makes the movie ‘I want to scratch my eyeballs out’ length. Do the decreased view counts and ever-diminishing sponsorship dollars teach you nothing?

3) Snowboarding is still doing it better

Seriously guys, all this shit is free on the internet... Just watch the damn snowboard films and copy what they do. They still have landmark movies and riders actually have segments. They don’t all seem to feel the need to make mediocre solo vanity projects. Or maybe they just have more friends?

They also don’t appear to feel the need to talk about everything for an hour, and they’ve heard of this thing called shot selection (not one movie I saw had more filler than actual action, something that definitely was not the case in so many of the ski ‘shorts’). However, the gratuitous abuse of the fake 16mm filter on that side of things was nuts, so please, I’m begging you, do not follow the two year rule on that one. Please.

4) The snowboard parties are more fun too…

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However, even to this jaded old head, there were definite highlights to my hours of viewing. The Good Company movie is the best I’ve seen from them in a long time, maybe ever. Monsieur Wallisch still makes skiing look like a game and had some unexpected and very enjoyable trick selection. Maggie Voisin steps it up in the backcountry and Colby Stevenson has a seminal, brain-melting segment that will introduce you to a totally different side of his skiing.

There’s also a ton of very good street skiing coming your way. Forre 2, MTL 2 and ON3P 6 are all hammers and Magma 3 is on another level once again. Perhaps most impressively, the women on both the ski and snowboard sides were THE highlight. Anni Karava’s clips in Forre, The Blondes movie, Taylor Lundquist and crew in Japan and more were all eye-openers. There are some sick more mainstream movies too. Polar Star & Here Hold My Kid were the standout full lengths, aside from the winner of course…

Oh right, High Five. Well, we judged seven awards and these were the relevant winners.

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Best Male: Colby Stevenson

If you see the part(s), there is no explanation needed. Monster’s monster.

Best Female: Ylfa Runnarsdottir

This one was super close with Anni Karava and the Blondes but ultimately, Ylfa’s snowboarding had a slight edge. She was going absolutely massive in Blooom, the new Burton flick.

Jury’s Pick: Descendence - Legs Of Steel

A short documentary with some crazy action, centered on Dennis Ranalter and his experience growing up as a colored skier in Austria. Eye opening and slightly upsetting at times, this was a great take on a difficult subject, with some crazy skiing thrown in there too. Sidebar, Dennis has a sick segment in MSP.

Best Snowboard Movie: Get Buck - Sebbe De Buck

This was really tough. We Are Losers 2 (Lobster Movie) was one of my favorite flicks across the festival, Blooom (Burton) and Casino (Beyond Medals) were amazing too but ultimately, the clean editing, ability to tell a story without banging on about it and insane number of shots won through. Sebbe must have had 20+ minutes of footage from the season, between this and Casino, which is pretty mindblowing.

Best Short (Ski) Film: The Draconians - Black Crows (Sam Favret & Nikolai Schirmer)

Black Crows media has to be some of the most beautiful in the ski game these days (watch their abandoned resorts series or any of their features for evidence). The Draconians impressed on many fronts from the quality of the filmmaking to the insanity of the big mountain skiing (all of which was accessed on foot). Forre 2 was a super close runner-up, and the Bunch movie is beautifully bonkers, but that final line that Sam (surely one of the most underrated skiers ever) skis… sickening but incredible.

Best (Ski) Movie: Full Circle - Level 1

There is nothing I can say about Trevor Kennison that hasn’t already been said. This movie is beyond inspiring and I defy you not to shed a tear watching this one. It’s an incredible story done justice by a fantastic movie and it’s THE must-see project of the year. There could be no more deserving winner than this.

P.S. The festival itself was a blast, an epic gathering of skiers and snowboarders from across the globe, there's nothing quite like it. The awards ceremony was a great way to round it out. Kevin Rolland recognized with an honorary award, presumably for the insane damage his halfpipe career has done his body. It was a beautiful moment and more than deserved, cue round two of tears.