In a move that has left the global skiing community baffled and expectant in equal measure, the Saudi Arabian government has announced its newest global sporting venture: the Seven Wonders Big Air Tour. Following the unexpected media success of the Snowblast KSA Cup in Riyadh, the Saudi government is taking the concept to a whole new level.

The Seven Wonders Big Air Tour promises to redefine extreme sports by having skiers and snowboarders throw down above some of mankind's greatest achievements. From the Great Wall of China to the Taj Mahal, no wonder is too big (or too culturally significant).

"We are thrilled to bring this exhilarating spectacle to the world stage," announced Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who is reportedly an avid fan of extreme sports. "By combining the thrill of skiing with the majesty of the world's wonders, we aim to showcase the adventurous spirit of Saudi Arabia. We learned our lessons at the test event, it's go big or go home."

The tour itinerary reads like a bucket list for unimaginative travelers, with stops at the Great Pyramid of Giza, Machu Picchu, Petra, the Colosseum, the Statue of Liberty, and the Eiffel Tower. Each location will feature a specially constructed ramp, a next-level carbon footprint, and a high chance of the snow melting off the ramp, just as it did in Riyadh.

Not everyone is convinced of the tour's feasibility. "I'm all for pushing the boundaries of the sport, but this seems like a bit of a stretch, both literally and figuratively," said surprise voice of reason, Nick Goepper. "Of course, then there are the cultural issues," added Ahmet Dadali, who unfortunately went on to claim that those cultural issues related to the rights of the aliens who built the pyramids. "Who cares about all that, I'm going to the jungle baby," countered a recent Olympic winner, who prefers to remain unnamed.

Despite some skepticism, the Saudi government is pressing ahead with its plans, citing the fact that any press that distracts from their human rights record has to be good press. In addition to the sporting spectacle, the tour will also include cultural events and entertainment, ensuring that spectators have plenty to enjoy even when the actual events are inevitably canceled.

As for the skiers and snowboarders brave enough to participate, they seem unfazed by reality. "I've always dreamed of skiing Machu Picchu," exclaimed professional snowboarder Nico Mueller. "Sure, it might be a little crazy, but hey, so am I!"

With the Seven Wonders Big Air Tour set to debut on April 1, 2025, we're already getting the popcorn on. Which athletes will be egocentric enough to take the plunge this time? There are also plans to add a rail jam to the event in the future, so we can only hope...