A metalhead, also known as “satanworshipper” on Newschoolers, has murdered 666 goats around 4:20 AM this morning at Canada Olympic Park. The metalhead then put the dead goats into a large pentagramic formation. We believe that Satanworshipper may have drugged the goats, as there are no actual injuries on the goats. We interviewed Satanworshipper’s best friend, Vienna Biletsky.
“Satanworshipper always does stuff like this, she’s done the same thing in Sunshine Village,” Says Vienna Biletsky, “But that time satan only sacrificed 69 goats.”
Satanworshipper’s location is not yet known, as they are on the run.