These trips are often planned in the hopes of something great but often end up turning out like lampoon's christmas vacation. Everyone dreams of the perfect scenario but everything imaginable goes wrong and your weird uncle shows up, uninvited.
First we start out with the stereotypical family makeup. You got the grandma that tells you how her other grandson is a really good skier and could teach you a thing or two. Then we’ve got dad that can still rip even though his gear went out of style 20 years ago. He often gets looks from other people in the lift line thinking he must be trying to get onto jerry of the day, as you pretend not to know him. Then we have Mom that can ski alright but swears she was way better last year. Then there's you with edges so dull they couldn’t cut a stick of butter but manage to catch an edge while doing mach ten on a groomer under the lift.
Once you get to the hill it takes seconds to put on your gear because you go skiing so much the people that own your home mountain think you might live there. While everyone else is struggling to put their gear on your already ten pages deep into newschoolers realizing your life isn’t as much of a failure as you thought and by the time they actually do get their gear on you are surprised it’s not spring yet. Once everyone finally clicks in, the feeling of the dreaded awkward lift ride sets in. Then you get on the lift and realize you’re not riding with the boys, you’re riding with your dysfunctional family.
Lift rides for most of the day consist of many questions about your gear. These questions may include-
“Why are you wearing work mittens?”
“Why are your goggles so big?”
“Why aren’t you using poles?”
“Why do you even like skiing the same run all day?”
“Why are your bindings in the middle?”
“Why are you trying to bark like a dog?”
For some it may include
“Why do you keep running over your shirt? I think it’s too big.”
“Why are you wearing track pants?”
“Why do you drool when seeing other riders stomp trick from the lift?”
And the list goes on and on and on…
On the slope all these things seem to fade away, because you’re doing what you came here for, until some little kid swerves in front of you. Then you have to stop but realize you can't because its ice and end up crashing to avoid the child, while the it’s mother gives you the ultimate death stare. Then comes your favorite part, the part you’ve been dreaming of all day: the park. However, when you get there you remember you’re at a family resort and their priority was never having a functional park. But you make do with what you have - “hey it's better than nothing, right?” you think. You soon come to realize nothing would’ve been better. Then you see a bunch of bros lapping the park and you impress them and they ask to ride with you. But you tell them your here with your family and nothing can replace family, even if they are all jerries.