Member of the Month

theabortionator
April, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

I have a problem.

profile picture
Nibbletinker
Posts: 97 - Karma: 312
I've been pooping my pants for maybe a few months now. Sometimes I poop my pants twice a day, it's becoming a real problem.

It's like I can't even fart anymore, I can't trust my farts. I just shit my pants now which is why I'm writing this but it's seriously affecting my life. Even when I do reach the toilet it comes out like soft serve and I have to spend up to an hour washing my ass.

I'm pretty sure it's my diet, but I have an addictive personality.
I typically drink 3-4 Loca Moca Monster energy drinks a day, and for breakfast everyday I have a chicken mcmuffin from mcdonalds. I consider these things apart of my daily rituals, I wake up with a Loca Moca and 2 chicken mcmuffins and I'm buzzin for the rest of the day, It's why I get out of bed in the morning.
I don't know how I could possibly cut these things out of my diet even if they are causing me to shit my pants at least twice a week.
So I'm at a loss with what to do, I could live life depressed and not drink my loca moca's. Or I could cut them out and maybe even after I cut them out I keep pooping my pants??! I could be living depressed just for nothing. I love my loca moca's.
I'm considering taking a mental health break from work to figure out my stool issues, but I feel like even if I do get off the loca mocas I will just rebound and start drinking again.
3 months ago
7 9
profile picture
Rock_Inhabitant
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 16,397
pee in her butt
3 months ago
7 1
profile picture
Sharqueef_steez
Posts: 82 - Karma: 342
Do loca moca enimas where it go like up ur butt
3 months ago
5 1
profile picture
eheath
Posts: 61936 - Karma: 126,480
This is the kind of shit posting I can get behind.
3 months ago
19 0
profile picture
FruityBoots
Posts: 138 - Karma: -11
Just go to an adoption center and pretend to be an abandoned child. Maybe there will be some hot workers there who will be able to clean your pants and wipe your ass every time you shit yourself. Select the hottest one and reproduce with her. Tie her down with a kid and bingo! You’ve got yourself a lifetime butt wiping slave. Remember, all she does is wipe your ass. She’s your shit bitch. While she wipes your ass like a dirty monkey, you go and have a bunch of affairs on the side. Have like two other kids with two different women, and then disappear one day for no reason and pretend none of it happened. Why? Because fuck the system!
3 months ago
5 3
profile picture
VTshredder69
Posts: 4056 - Karma: -11,504
Sounds like you're poisoning yourself with that diet and your body is trying to tell you something.
3 months ago
4 3
profile picture
Nibbletinker
Posts: 97 - Karma: 312
VTshredder69Sounds like you're poisoning yourself with that diet and your body is trying to tell you something.


You've clearly never had the pure bliss that is a Loca Moca Monster
3 months ago
6 1
profile picture
VTshredder69
Posts: 4056 - Karma: -11,504
NibbletinkerYou've clearly never had the pure bliss that is a Loca Moca Monster


is that the one with sucralose that has been linked to destroying gut health?

Yea no thanks.
3 months ago
4 2
profile picture
mountaindewgirl
Posts: 2317 - Karma: 21,132
Are you more solution-oriented and want advice or just need ya bros to hear out your feelings?
3 months ago
7 0
profile picture
partyandBS
Posts: 5799 - Karma: 90,663
this is what happens when your completely full of shit all the time
3 months ago
11 0
profile picture
Rparr
Posts: 5746 - Karma: 48,970
Try eating some haribo sugar free gummy bears, that should calm your stomach down
3 months ago
10 0
profile picture
SendyMcSendyface
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 28,603
did you pee in her butt?
3 months ago
0 0
profile picture
iH8pow
Posts: 1885 - Karma: 8,479
Loca Moca Monster and Chicken McMuffin?! Where do you find this secret menu of life I’m down to try pooping my pants

-written on toilet
3 months ago
2 0
profile picture
SmokedGouda
Posts: 1232 - Karma: 6,841
Whyd you think it would be a good idea to self medicate yourself crohns…. Mcdonalds and caffeine is a bad mix dude.
3 months ago
0 0
profile picture
CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6470 - Karma: 66,293
RparrTry eating some haribo sugar free gummy bears, that should calm your stomach down


Gotta fight fire with fire
3 months ago
2 0
profile picture
Nibbletinker
Posts: 97 - Karma: 312
VTshredder69is that the one with sucralose that has been linked to destroying gut health?

Yea no thanks.


Nah, It's just proven(by me) that it'll make u shit ur pants.
3 months ago
2 1
profile picture
C.R.E.A.M
Posts: 3002 - Karma: 4,702
Adult diapers are the easy and obvious answer. No change of lifestyle or doctor visit required.
3 months ago
1 0
profile picture
littleman34
Posts: 1404 - Karma: 4,252
I pooped my pants at work last week. Told my coworker I was going home to shower and get a fresh change of clothes. And I was back in 30 minutes. And he didnt even tell anybody else at work. Pretty big win for me I'd say
3 months ago
3 0
profile picture
webuh
Posts: 74 - Karma: 382
new favorite copypasta just dropped?
3 months ago
0 0
profile picture
Sno.
Posts: 12311 - Karma: 7,884
You just need to add a flax seed rimmer to your Loca Moca shots.
2 months ago
1 0
profile picture
Casey
Posts: 8016 - Karma: 26,891
You need to just continually up your dosage of Pepto until it balances out. It sounds like your anus just cannot handle that kind of intense PSI, you should be strength training
2 months ago
0 0
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13220 - Karma: 20,277
Im going through a round of IBS, the first month was hell. Severe diahrea, nausious, massive gut cramps, massive stinky farts and puking at random times for a month. Shat myself a couple times, but the worst was leaky anus… Im glad its better now.

For OP, diet plays a huge role in disgestion. I suggest to get some fucking fiber into you. Start eating high fiber cereals every morning. Dont forget to do lots of exercise
I take 60ml CBD oil in the morning to help regulate the bowels.
If the symptoms came on fast, it could be a pathogen.
2 months ago
0 0
profile picture
Nibbletinker
Posts: 97 - Karma: 312
freestyler540Im going through a round of IBS, the first month was hell. Severe diahrea, nausious, massive gut cramps, massive stinky farts and puking at random times for a month. Shat myself a couple times, but the worst was leaky anus… Im glad its better now.

For OP, diet plays a huge role in disgestion. I suggest to get some fucking fiber into you. Start eating high fiber cereals every morning. Dont forget to do lots of exercise
I take 60ml CBD oil in the morning to help regulate the bowels.
If the symptoms came on fast, it could be a pathogen.


I heard high fiber was linked to estrogen production in your body, I already eat 2 chicken mcmuffins a day which have a high enough soy content so I won't take any fiber in because I'm afraid I might grow boobies.
2 months ago
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 7:30AM