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theabortionator
April, 2025

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Help! I’m too intelligent, handsome, funny, and wealthy.

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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
I have a unique problem, Newschoolers. Everywhere I go, people want to be my friend. Men offer up their daughters as my potential bride; beautiful women wink at me and blow me kisses; world-class elites invite me into their circles. And while all of this was fun at first, it’s become a real head sore, because some days I just want to walk into Starbucks and get a cappuccino without being offered a bride or a multi-million dollar business contract. Now, the reason I’m writing Newschoolers, is I believe you’re in a position to help me. You’re a bunch of ugly losers who can barely 360 off a mogul or gracefully slide even the shortest rail. So tell me: How do you do it? How do you so effectively present as degenerate, beta eyesores without the slightest traces of talent or basic interpersonal skills? I come to you humbly, willing to learn for my own good.


Thanks in advance,

From yours truly,

The guy who’s way better than you,

In every way,

And isn’t joking about it, either,

President Skroob

**This thread was edited on Feb 4th 2024 at 6:29:11am
a year ago
10 17
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MichiganCatFart
Posts: 1556 - Karma: 24,202
a year ago
10 0
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Thegenericskier
Posts: 2903 - Karma: 34,038
genuine worm right here
a year ago
3 0
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senderbud
Posts: 29 - Karma: 169
it sounds like you are doing just fine... but money in money out. care less about your appearance, if you did not shower, wore some raggedy ass clothes,(aka not brand new) shit, you would get less attention for sure. one haircut a year... no new clothes... wtf starbucks?.... of course you are gonna be offered somebodys 20yr old stay at home-loser-instagram-wanna be daughter... be an actual ski BUM... if you want less attraction, spend your money on experiences not material goods...
a year ago
0 0
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Andi_G
Posts: 3100 - Karma: 15,257
get a spliff addiction, live in the brighton parking lot, and drink from puddles
a year ago
10 0
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SofaKingSick
Posts: 9720 - Karma: 65,580
shut up nerd
a year ago
1 0
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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
SofaKingSickshut up nerd

It appears I’ve struck a chord with one of the newschooler. I didn’t mean to offend. I realize I should have written in the difficult-to-master mix of Redditese and fake ghetto slang that is the mother tounge of most newschoolers. Please forgive my rough attempt to communicate with you, newschooler. Next time I’ll use a translator. I’m sure the translator would aptly implement instances of words and phrases like “yeet” or “that’s lit,” all while delivering a tone of severe dweebiness. But that’s beside the point. So please, tell me, newschooler. What steps must I take to be more like you? I’m tired of my superiority. Lay it on me. I’m ready to learn.
a year ago
2 6
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skalbanan
Posts: 166 - Karma: 489
Brodie you have been on NS for maybe 9 days and already have 60 posts, I can guarantee no one cares, stop karma farming
a year ago
2 0
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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
skalbananBrodie you have been on NS for maybe 9 days and already have 60 posts, I can guarantee no one cares, stop karma farming


I don’t give a flying fuck about karma. Nor does anyone else from what I can tell. Unless they’re petty as fuck. What is anyone supposed to do with karma? Buy a house? I’m on here for lolz, kid. And I’m looking for genuine help. Ns is full of loser dorks who I believe stand to help me during this dark time in my life. Seriously. I mean, do you know what it’s like to be better than everyone? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way; you’ve never been better than anyone at anything in your life, pussy. Anyways, it gets old, and I didn’t know where else to turn but here for some valuable help.
a year ago
0 3
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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
This kid dug up my thread just to tell me no one cares. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it’s looking a little bit like someone cares (him).
a year ago
0 3
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SuperiorKalmar
Posts: 2330 - Karma: 19,619
PresidentSkroobThis kid dug up my thread just to tell me no one cares. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it’s looking a little bit like someone cares (him).


"dug". it was probably on the first page of Non-Ski Gabber.
a year ago
1 0
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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
JalmarKalmar"dug". it was probably on the first page of Non-Ski Gabber.


Oh, look. It’s the guy who cherry-picks threads; hopping in at convenient moments to make a specific remark about someone’s word choice, grammar, or weakness in their logic. And I’m in full support of it. Only complaint I have is that it’s happening to me.
a year ago
0 3
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Forrest.Gump
Posts: 579 - Karma: -1,179
karma framing in to the green?
who want to be like the top karma member? a crappy snowboarder, hating on skiing / freestyle skiers, making money from a ski website....
#chumpchange #korekarma
a year ago
1 2
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JevanqauviousIII
Posts: 185 - Karma: -770
Someone give this guy fent
a year ago
3 0
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PresidentSkroob
Posts: 209 - Karma: -1,188
Yeah will say, it’s a lot harder to cause a disturbance on here than it used to be. Seems like people just aren’t with it anymore. Maybe that means there’s hope for humanity or something. I don’t know.
a year ago
0 0
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Lonely
Posts: 7112 - Karma: 68,911
PresidentSkroobWhat is anyone supposed to do with karma? Buy a house? I’m on here for lolz, kid. And I’m looking for genuine help.


I did. You can pull out your karma without penalty (still have to pay back in interest though) if you are using it on a downpayment for either an FHA or USDA loan.
a year ago
3 0
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