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abjectwoe
May, 2025

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Call to Arms: Fight the Slow Left Lane Drivers

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stokedelic
Posts: 1574 - Karma: 4,780
I’m done. No more 24 year old WFH girls watching tik tok with my bumper literally under their muffler (nice). No more NPR dads who can afford 5 pairs of skis and passes but not a fucking red flyer wagon to avoid looking like an idiot carrying said skis. No more stoned newschoolers (yes you) thinking 85 is fast in the fast lane listening to Wu Tang because you think B Dog is cool since he does that (okay sometimes me).

I grew up next to a drag strip. The fucking Indiana 5000. If you’re not hitting 120mph on 8% downhill grades the left lane is not for you.

If you hear my cries, I encourage you to bare knuckle box everyone of these fuckers you can. It’s time we take the left lane into our own hands.
3 years ago
21 9
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nCrow
Posts: 1323 - Karma: 9,264
First time on 70?
3 years ago
19 0
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switchlip2
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 25,179
“Ski gabber”
3 years ago
16 0
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BradFiAusNzCoCa
Posts: 7530 - Karma: 66,975
My brother in Christ, I do not drive a bobsled home from the mountain
3 years ago
11 0
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eheath
Posts: 61952 - Karma: 126,693
I agree, but 120 is pretty reckless...
3 years ago
20 1
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Farmville420
Posts: 5167 - Karma: 67,189
Bros from Indiana 💀
3 years ago
15 0
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PsychicMigration
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 10,552
Save it for rant about whatever thread and if your going to post at least put it in the right section.
3 years ago
1 0
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profa_212
Posts: 9213 - Karma: 40,383
you sound like the reason i80 closes three times a day during storm cycles
2 years ago
24 0
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Icant_kfed
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 11,596
Throw a ranch hand on a fozzie, plow them all out the way and go as fast as you want
2 years ago
1 1
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Farmville420
Posts: 5167 - Karma: 67,189
If you put a gun to my head and asked me to point out Indiana on a map tell my mother I love her
2 years ago
19 0
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iH8pow
Posts: 1890 - Karma: 8,524
Yea but haven’t you learned yet that the left lane is the faux fast lane? Far right lane is for passing if you want to drive faster than traffic, nobody takes the right lane everyone’s too scared. Even truck drivers
2 years ago
5 0
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Deez_Mcskis
Posts: 383 - Karma: 3,791
Farmville420If you put a gun to my head and asked me to point out Indiana on a map tell my mother I love her

Pretty sure its near Indiana
2 years ago
3 0
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iFlip
Posts: 4544 - Karma: 19,146
The “Indiana 5000”? You mean the Indianapolis 500? Tell me you haven’t lived next to it your entire life and got it wrong. Just like your left-lane philosophy.
2 years ago
12 0
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5921 - Karma: 3,833
You tell 'em brother
2 years ago
2 0
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TOAST.
Posts: 7756 - Karma: 39,756
If you're not driving in the shoulder you aren't even trying to go fast.
2 years ago
10 0
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SlitherySnake
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 8,625
misread the title, thought this was political thread, gets pleasantly surprised when it’s just as shitty as a political thread

fuck yeah guys we’re doing this shit right
2 years ago
7 0
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bakemaster
Posts: 127 - Karma: 2,699
HAHAa you peasants drive?? I just get picked up in the helicopter and I'm back to the chalet in 5 minutes.
2 years ago
6 0
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
I like to drive the speed limit in the left lane to make sure everyone behind me isn't breaking the law 😇
2 years ago
4 1
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GayWolf420
Posts: 38101 - Karma: 129,787
You ever seen a mormon roadblock before?
2 years ago
4 0
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skierman
Posts: 8602 - Karma: 9,519
You can tell someone just moved to Utah when they haven't figured out that the right lane is for passing.
2 years ago
4 1
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12705 - Karma: 120,054
My taxes paid for both lanes, Im using em
2 years ago
11 0
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X_MEMESWERVE_XX
Posts: 3945 - Karma: 33,347
bakemasterHAHAa you peasants drive?? I just get picked up in the helicopter and I'm back to the chalet in 5 minutes.


The epitome of helicopter travel is an hour of prep for a 5 minute flight
2 years ago
3 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52626 - Karma: 174,620
Left lane is the black diamond trail that's really a blue, barely above the green. Everyone can get their difficult runs in. The right line is that sometimes spicy but direct speed line off the side of the green run that get's you to the base are in 1/4 the time.

The amount of times the right lane is fully open is hilarious. I try and laugh at it now, it's better than crying. A lot of people have no concept of other people or their surroundings in most parts of life.
2 years ago
9 0
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
I carry a firearm in my glovebox for this reason
2 years ago
1 0
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Biffbarf
Posts: 7438 - Karma: 79,698
DeebieSkeebiesYou ever seen a mormon roadblock before?


I've heard it called the mexican drag race here on the other side of the devide
2 years ago
2 0
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GnomesAreReal
Posts: 202 - Karma: 1,818
Last summer I was going almost 250 on the autobahn and still some bmw driver pulled up behind me and started flashing his lights. Nobody is fast enough.
2 years ago
7 0
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
.sunnyLast summer I was going almost 250 on the autobahn and still some bmw driver pulled up behind me and started flashing his lights. Nobody is fast enough.


Flex hard enough yet?
2 years ago
1 2
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GnomesAreReal
Posts: 202 - Karma: 1,818
tomatonaterFlex hard enough yet?


No, I think i was going 260 kmh actually
2 years ago
3 0
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
.sunnyNo, I think i was going 260 kmh actually


Oh you’re using them European units. I’m not as impressed now
2 years ago
4 0
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GnomesAreReal
Posts: 202 - Karma: 1,818
tomatonaterOh you’re using them European units. I’m not as impressed now

:(
2 years ago
5 0
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eheath
Posts: 61952 - Karma: 126,693
tomatonaterOh you’re using them European units. I’m not as impressed now


do you really not know about the autobahn?
2 years ago
4 0
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
eheathdo you really not know about the autobahn?


You mean the highway in Germany with no speed limits built under nazi germany and completed in 1935? Nah never heard of it.
2 years ago
0 1
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eheath
Posts: 61952 - Karma: 126,693
tomatonaterYou mean the highway in Germany with no speed limits built under nazi germany and completed in 1935? Nah never heard of it.


sigh, my point was its obviously in europe so why would said person say their speed in MPH? come on
2 years ago
3 1
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
eheathsigh, my point was its obviously in europe so why would said person say their speed in MPH? come on


Because America
2 years ago
1 2
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eheath
Posts: 61952 - Karma: 126,693
tomatonaterBecause America


its weird that measuring units have become a meme
2 years ago
2 1
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tomatonater
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,808
eheathits weird that measuring units have become a meme


Its not a meme, it’s a way of life
2 years ago
1 1
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
tomatonaterOh you’re using them European units. I’m not as impressed now

260 kph is still 160 mph and that's still pretty fast for a road car, even if it's the Autobahn
2 years ago
5 0
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iH8pow
Posts: 1890 - Karma: 8,524
Had a good one yesterday on my way to shred. Was jammed up by the left lane patrol, a Subaru (Ascent I think) gets up on my ass, in a moment of clearing, Ascent decides to do gods work and passes on left shoulder (closed toll lane) and i get in right lane to pass the left lane jerrys. We both merge back into a wide open left lane going 115-120, yee yee life is good but then they whipped off the freeway towards winter park before i could snap a photo (im safu driver) so short lived excitement.

But stay outta Colorado if you’re a beta speed limit drivin left lane cuck sheep. Theres shuttles you can take instead.

The elites dont want you to know this, but theres no speed limits in Colorado (as long as you drive a BMW)
2 years ago
0 0
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