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abjectwoe
May, 2025

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Got chased by a humvee on meth.

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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
So our weekend was fun I'll start with the characters. @kylerstephan @Jacksparrow and I go to the same church and afterwards all our parents like to talk for hours so what better way to pass the time than shoot slingshots at snowmobile signs. We were having a real good time when kyler says "I've never actually been back there wanna go?" Ike and I told him there was nothing to see but why not. So we all walk down the snowmobile trail till we come to the bean field with the water sprayer. and kyler goes we should climb it and I actually never climbed one so I said why not. Ike was salty because he broke his back and was in a brace for months so he didn't have enough back muscle back to climb. We're just about getting down when we see a H2 driving down the road that this dude lives down

We have never seen it before so it was pretty cool and in all camouflage. Everyone was walking back when all the little kids started freaking out. We had two of my siblings and one of kylers all under 10. We look back to see the humvee flying over the field kyler says "should we run?" And Ike and I look at each other and say at the same time "YEAH WE SHOULD PROLLY RUN" so off we go running back down the snowmobile trail, then I slow down cuz I'm worried about the little kids. But the next thing I know there all ten feet in front of me there little cowboy boots churning so fast it's a blur. We make it back to the parking lot and start talking to @Yeahboy about jets for a while then we go inside. It was time for kyler to go then we get a text before he leaves saying.

Then he leaves. Now it's time for Ike to leave so we find Alex and fill him in and tell him to pick Ike up front. But Alex texted from his truck .

I'm like crap I want to leave but we have a family reunion after so dad was in no hurry to leave. Then he comes into the lot and almost runs over my mom.


So he started whipping shittys in the lot and yelling at the top of his lungs "getting the dirt of my tires before I hit the road obviously on something. Gonna have to talk with Jeremy about this. Anyway we got away

If you want to here more true stories about the adventures of lipp and gang lmk.
3 years ago
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WoFlowz
Posts: 8103 - Karma: 64,484
Glad I don’t live in Ukraine or Texas kinda confused where this happened
3 years ago
34 1
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HypeBeast
Posts: 10082 - Karma: 76,467
Hard to follow but I gathered this guy was pissed for you being on his land and climbing his expensive farm equipment. Drove erratically and shot off some rounds to scare ya. But then went full on crazy and tried to harm someone in a church parking lot?

This sounds like a rural area with rednecks so my question is what kind of person living out there doesn't carry? Why are your dads not part of this ending? I expected them to be pointing guns at this mofo the moment he arrived.
3 years ago
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eheath
Posts: 61955 - Karma: 126,722
Why is that guys contact saved as "phone" wtf else would the number be for?
3 years ago
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yungona
Posts: 2374 - Karma: -5,799
newschoolers.co 🐕💨
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
First of all EHEATH that's besides the point but I guess it's just how I was raised.
eheathWhy is that guys contact saved as "phone" wtf else would the number be for?
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
This is in WI in the st croix Valley.
3 years ago
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maaattt
Posts: 2765 - Karma: 33,674
Fuck yea op said whipping shittys I knew it was a real term I KNEW
3 years ago
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
"sounded like 9mm"


LOL yeah, OK. This story sounds legit.
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
Well I texted dad "Ike and I might be in trouble fyi"and basically he told me to figure it out. Afterwards he asked what we did and I told him we went for a walk. then he was like then what and I told him then we walked back. And that was that.
HypeBeastHard to follow but I gathered this guy was pissed for you being on his land and climbing his expensive farm equipment. Drove erratically and shot off some rounds to scare ya. But then went full on crazy and tried to harm someone in a church parking lot?

This sounds like a rural area with rednecks so my question is what kind of person living out there doesn't carry? Why are your dads not part of this ending? I expected them to be pointing guns at this mofo the moment he arrived.
3 years ago
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
LippamaniWell I texted dad "Ike and I might be in trouble fyi"and basically he told me to figure it out. Afterwards he asked what we did and I told him we went for a walk. then he was like then what and I told him then we walked back. And that was that.


Typical basic kids trying to make yourselves seem more interesting than just a bunch of spoiled, shit-kicking religious douches.

"HE ALMOST HIT MY MOM IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT!" - you

"Humvee turned up tires in a dirt parking lot 500ft away" - reality
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
Not even going to try defending myself from skirman because this is his profession. But I will say my mom had to run to the side he was dang close to her.
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
The only argument you know how to use is straw man try working on different attacks your to predictable you probably suck at chess
skiermanTypical basic kids trying to make yourselves seem more interesting than just a bunch of spoiled, shit-kicking religious douches.

"HE ALMOST HIT MY MOM IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT!" - you

"Humvee turned up tires in a dirt parking lot 500ft away" - reality
3 years ago
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
LippamaniNot even going to try defending myself from skirman because this is his profession. But I will say my mom had to run to the side he was dang close to her.


Yeah man, you sound like a trusted narrator given the evidence presented. Lemme guess, you also posted about this on social media to get more attention?



That's what I thought.
3 years ago
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yungona
Posts: 2374 - Karma: -5,799
skiermanYeah man, you sound like a trusted narrator given the evidence presented. Lemme guess, you also posted about this on social media to get more attention?



That's what I thought.


The Hoax of the 20th Century — good read!
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
So it looks like no one believes me but even though you guys didn't even believe my first story would you guys like to here more? I think it will help all of us get through the summer. And all the stories I tell are actually real.


Stfu skirman
3 years ago
10 1
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
LippamaniSo it looks like no one believes me but even though you guys didn't even believe my first story would you guys like to here more? I think it will help all of us get through the summer. And all the stories I tell are actually real.


Stfu skirman


You sound like a pathetic cunt.
3 years ago
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,403
i wouldnt be too scared of that, they normally break down every 200 meters anyway
3 years ago
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Sivvy
Posts: 912 - Karma: 9,227
This wasn't the most coherent thing I've ever read but it is painfully Midwestern and for that I thank you.

You know what repels meth heads? Lutefisk...I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have lots on hand. Dip that shit in some gas and you've got napalm....have fun!
3 years ago
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
.frenchyevery 200 meters anyway


Fucking communist.
3 years ago
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kylerstephan
Posts: 248 - Karma: 2,498
skiermanYou sound like a pathetic cunt.

You need to get your facts straight you piece of shit dick sucking son of an ass. It's a true story I was there.
3 years ago
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
kylerstephanYou need to get your facts straight you piece of shit dick sucking son of an ass. It's a true story I was there.


Aww did the choir boy just learn how to swear?


That's adorable.
3 years ago
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,403
skiermanFucking communist.

hahahaha. i wrote down feet at first then changed it to meters because thats what the military uses. damnit
3 years ago
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HypeBeast
Posts: 10082 - Karma: 76,467
LippamaniThe only argument you know how to use is straw man try working on different attacks your to predictable you probably suck at chess

I'm down voting this due to the plethora of run on sentences and improper use of the word "your". The version you're looking for is "you're".
3 years ago
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TOAST.
Posts: 7762 - Karma: 39,839
So did the guy put meth in the gas tank or what?
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
Lol yeah fo sho
TOAST.So did the guy put meth in the gas tank or what?
3 years ago
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byubound
Posts: 1636 - Karma: 9,873
Truly a peek into Midwest life, thanks OP
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
So guys there's this girl I love like love love but her dad said that she has got to be 16 to date and I said ok let's just keep it low key for a while and fly under the radar. But we were getting like really close which ngl kinda scared me but anyway I was like we need to wait because it's kinda hard to start a life with both families pissed at you and it's way to obvious. And I knew she wouldn't understand she thinks I can just scoop her up and face the world when in reality I'm a broke kid. So I told her stuff she did that weren't cool of her even though I love everything about her. Well she got mad and wouldn't talk to me.
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
So I told her the real reason. I wanted this long term so I'm going to wait until your dad says yes and was hoping she'd understand that I'm doing this because I love her the most and now she absolutely hates me and turns her back if she sees me. But it's not like I want to get over her because the whole reason I did this is for her. What should I do?
3 years ago
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MichiganCatFart
Posts: 1557 - Karma: 24,217
LippamaniSo I told her the real reason. I wanted this long term so I'm going to wait until your dad says yes and was hoping she'd understand that I'm doing this because I love her the most and now she absolutely hates me and turns her back if she sees me. But it's not like I want to get over her because the whole reason I did this is for her. What should I do?


do some meth and drive to her house in a Humvee
3 years ago
11 0
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DominatorJacques
Posts: 11247 - Karma: 76,550
HypeBeastI'm down voting this due to the plethora of run on sentences and improper use of the word "your". The version you're looking for is "you're".

Yea, the OP's OG story was a tough read.
LippamaniSo I told her the real reason. I wanted this long term so I'm going to wait until your dad says yes and was hoping she'd understand that I'm doing this because I love her the most and now she absolutely hates me and turns her back if she sees me. But it's not like I want to get over her because the whole reason I did this is for her. What should I do?

Dude, you are still a young kid. Long term is not going to happen at your age. Very rare to say the least.
Still, first love can be a beautiful thing to remember if it goes well.
You probably should ignore her, and get on with other things. Pay her zero attention. Then see what happens.
3 years ago
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switchlip2
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 25,179
Average day in my town ngl
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
Yikes that is going to be hard but I'll give it a shot ig
DominatorJacquesYea, the OP's OG story was a tough read.

Dude, you are still a young kid. Long term is not going to happen at your age. Very rare to say the least.
Still, first love can be a beautiful thing to remember if it goes well.
You probably should ignore her, and get on with other things. Pay her zero attention. Then see what happens.
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
I apologize for my horrible grammar, I get no signal where I'm at so if I wait to long to upload all the pictures disappear for some reason so I tried to just get it out there.
3 years ago
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DominatorJacques
Posts: 11247 - Karma: 76,550
LippamaniYikes that is going to be hard but I'll give it a shot ig

That's the ticket. Playing hard to get is better than playing desperate. Hold your head high, and walk on by.


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1039715/Dionne-Warwick----Walk-On-By
3 years ago
4 0
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Sivvy
Posts: 912 - Karma: 9,227
Mk wow there's alot going on here...I'm not 100% sure what the fuck happened but let me offer some perspective here as a teen girl. Um ok I think you're right, respect her parents boundaries because by disrespecting them and potentially getting caught you're putting a target on your back and that's going to strain a relationship no matter what.

Um as far as why she's shunning you ... It would have been better to be upfront with her rather than insulting her over things you don't actually care about but it seems like that's obvious to you at this point.

Good news though it's not to late to start being honest. It might be embarrassing or stressful but it ultimately the most direct way to sort things out. If I was in her position I would appreciate a text....or an in person conversation depending on your comfort level...in which you stated, "I'm so sorry for saying X,Y,Z (Be specific and own it), I know it was hurtful but I did it because I've been worried about the situation with your parents (or for whatever reason you did that). I really enjoy your company and I think very highly of you I'm so sorry for the way I handled this and for hurting you."

Give us an update when you can
LippamaniSo guys there's this girl I love like love love but her dad said that she has got to be 16 to date and I said ok let's just keep it low key for a while and fly under the radar. But we were getting like really close which ngl kinda scared me but anyway I was like we need to wait because it's kinda hard to start a life with both families pissed at you and it's way to obvious. And I knew she wouldn't understand she thinks I can just scoop her up and face the world when in reality I'm a broke kid. So I told her stuff she did that weren't cool of her even though I love everything about her. Well she got mad and wouldn't talk to me.
3 years ago
4 0
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Sivvy
Posts: 912 - Karma: 9,227
Oh god wait ok I misunderstood....good on you for owning it and telling her the real reason you are holding off. When you did that did you apologize for being a dick previously?

More importantly...I'm sorry she doesn't understand the difficult position you are in but you made a noble and mature decision choosing not to date her yet in order to avoid parental drama. That must have been a difficult and frustrating decision. Frankly her reaction seems odd to me, how old are you guys because if 16 isn't far off it's a super odd reaction.

You guys might be on a very different plain of maturity right now as you clearly are able to see the bigger picture in a manner which she can't. While this situation sucks maybe it's for the best ... If she behaves like this when you aren't dating, what would she behave like if you were? You apologized....you where respectful. Now you can keep lusting after her and attempt to rekindle the friendship, or you can give her some time and space to reflect on the situation and wait to let her potentially make the next move when she's ready or maybe reach out when you feel her anger has become more subdued.
LippamaniSo I told her the real reason. I wanted this long term so I'm going to wait until your dad says yes and was hoping she'd understand that I'm doing this because I love her the most and now she absolutely hates me and turns her back if she sees me. But it's not like I want to get over her because the whole reason I did this is for her. What should I do?
3 years ago
5 0
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
.....no I didn't apologize for being a dick previously. I'll try both options that ns gave me and update you guys. I'll see her tonight so we shall see.
3 years ago
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C.R.E.A.M
Posts: 3002 - Karma: 4,702
The title could be improved. I thought you were on meth and got chased by a Humvee.
3 years ago
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kylerstephan
Posts: 248 - Karma: 2,498
MichiganCatFartdo some meth and drive to her house in a Humvee


@Lippamani doesn't have his license, isn't that right @Lippamani
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
🖕
kylerstephan@Lippamani doesn't have his license, isn't that right @Lippamani
3 years ago
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kylerstephan
Posts: 248 - Karma: 2,498
Lippamani🖕


🖕
3 years ago
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Sivvy
Posts: 912 - Karma: 9,227
Update?
3 years ago
1 0
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skierman
Posts: 8604 - Karma: 9,549
SivvyUpdate?


Check back in 3 years when they get butt raped by their priest and realize God isn't real.
3 years ago
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kylerstephan
Posts: 248 - Karma: 2,498
skiermanCheck back in 3 years when they get butt raped by their priest and realize God isn't real.


Ohh skierman. We all know what you look like now. You've been leaked in the rrrooouuuunnnnddd house. Looks like an innocent guy, but deep down we all know that the only thing you find joy in is being a jerk because you are behind a screen with no fear.
3 years ago
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
Kylers jealous of skiermans carma points that's all
3 years ago
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CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6482 - Karma: 66,456
Humvees can’t break the tires or do donuts even if the road was made out of KY jelly.
3 years ago
0 1
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Lippamani
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 16,422
False. The parking lot is just dirt and they spun just fine.
CatdickBojanglesHumvees can’t break the tires or do donuts even if the road was made out of KY jelly.
3 years ago
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