Member of the Month

abjectwoe
May, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

How to become a park rat

profile picture
Oh.Its.Nuggs
Posts: 10 - Karma: 180
So after careful deliberation and the fact anything remotely good for touring costs more than my car I've decided to go full park rat.

Now, I've been skiing since i could walk but I'm still fairly terrible, especially in park.

What does a dedicated park rat need, how do I go about progressing, how many bong rips do i take before i attempt to hit a rail and most importantly, how on goods green earth do you afford it? (For reference im a kiwi, everything's expenny here and the snows pretty average)

Any park rats in the upper south island that will take me in?

Regards,
A shit skier who just wants to lap the park with some homies xx
4 years ago
34 0
profile picture
dripdroptop
Posts: 584 - Karma: 3,422
5XL or you shouldn’t be within 500 feet of the park.
4 years ago
41 0
profile picture
Treegrabber
Posts: 831 - Karma: 11,928
Smoke weed
lay down ur seed
Breed
village sized pants is what u need
4 years ago
46 1
profile picture
Treegrabber
Posts: 831 - Karma: 11,928
TreegrabberSmoke weed
lay down ur seed
Breed
village sized pants is what u need

the real journey is long and tedious
far far away, in a galaxy far far away, there lays a temple encrusted in gold. The journey is long, testing ur mind, body, and heart. First, you must listen to 1000 hours of wutang. Once u finish this long task u may begin the physical journey. First u shall come upon ur first obstacle. A giant ogre named táñer haol. He shall be easy tu get by, but beware. If he is not asleep, he may be taking dick pics. If u are caught in the flash, u will be instantly disintegrated. Once u pass the first obstacle, the horizon will open up tu oceans full of baggy pants and bong water. The 500 mile stretch will have u begging for land. At the end however lies the temple. Once u reach the temple, speak the manic words,
”hang him off a 5 story building by his nutsack”
the solid gold door will then immediately open to the shining hall inside and then u will see him;
He will come running on all fours, a human clearance rack, covered in clothing. The father of park himself will then bestow u with the power of the park. if u take this journey good luck
it is not for the faint of heart.
4 years ago
43 0
profile picture
dognutsdogfart
Posts: 2628 - Karma: 35,158
my god
Treegrabberthe real journey is long and tedious
far far away, in a galaxy far far away, there lays a temple encrusted in gold. The journey is long, testing ur mind, body, and heart. First, you must listen to 1000 hours of wutang. Once u finish this long task u may begin the physical journey. First u shall come upon ur first obstacle. A giant ogre named táñer haol. He shall be easy tu get by, but beware. If he is not asleep, he may be taking dick pics. If u are caught in the flash, u will be instantly disintegrated. Once u pass the first obstacle, the horizon will open up tu oceans full of baggy pants and bong water. The 500 mile stretch will have u begging for land. At the end however lies the temple. Once u reach the temple, speak the manic words,
”hang him off a 5 story building by his nutsack”
the solid gold door will then immediately open to the shining hall inside and then u will see him;
He will come running on all fours, a human clearance rack, covered in clothing. The father of park himself will then bestow u with the power of the park. if u take this journey good luck
it is not for the faint of heart.
4 years ago
11 0
profile picture
deadhead420
Posts: 2123 - Karma: 18,676
Build a summer setup. Eat shit learning rails at your house instead of at the mountain. speeds up the progression
4 years ago
26 0
profile picture
Oh.Its.Nuggs
Posts: 10 - Karma: 180
Well luckily for me it's (supposed) to be winter here, also I've already filled the back yard with a bouldering wall and my flatmates might kick me out if i build any more shit back there
mrk127Build a summer setup. Eat shit learning rails at your house instead of at the mountain. speeds up the progression
4 years ago
14 0
profile picture
AlexHallsEyebrow
Posts: 835 - Karma: 7,806
Full
























tilts
4 years ago
36 0
profile picture
Jems
Posts: 7739 - Karma: 101,241
mrk127Build a summer setup. Eat shit learning rails at your house instead of at the mountain. speeds up the progression

this or build some rails for the backyard during the winter if you can, i learned how to solidly slide rails in my own backyard
4 years ago
6 0
profile picture
armchair_skier
Posts: 2667 - Karma: 34,254
Wear 5XL gear and have a 5XL ego. Smoke mids on the chairlift you paid 40 a g for.
4 years ago
16 0
profile picture
CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6482 - Karma: 66,451
Don't tell anyone that you are actually a trust fund baby and act like you are poor as shit.
4 years ago
37 0
profile picture
warm_diet_coke
Posts: 179 - Karma: 1,832
CatdickBojanglesDon't tell anyone that you are actually a trust fund baby and act like you are poor as shit.

correct
4 years ago
11 0
profile picture
asparagus
Posts: 2500 - Karma: 28,453
If you don’t know where to start progression-wise, there are 2 main career paths which are jumps and rails. You’ll probably like one more than the other but as you get better you’ll realize that they’re both fun.

Lessons would help but not required. It’s easier if you have better park riders giving you pointers but you can pretty much learn the basics on your own. Stompit tutorials, ski addiction, empire tutorials and coach trifes have good tutorials on YouTube. I’d recommend checking them out in that order.

As said above its way less scary to learn rails on a 8 foot pvc pipe in your backyard. If you have trouble with jump tricks you could build a small jump somewhere near your house to get all the basics down.

Good luck and buy 12xl
4 years ago
10 0
profile picture
Skiblade420
Posts: 1001 - Karma: 16,475
CatdickBojanglesDon't tell anyone that you are actually a trust fund baby and act like you are poor as shit.

Yeah don’t even dare mention windells even if it’s a joke
4 years ago
5 0
profile picture
ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
Step one: get on the park lift
Step two: ski the park
Step three: get on the park lift
Step four: ski the park
Step five: get on the park lift
Step six: hit up the smoke shack
Step seven: ski the park
Rinse and repeat every day until the last 100 feet strip of snow melts
4 years ago
17 0
profile picture
WoFlowz
Posts: 8096 - Karma: 64,485
S**o B*g H**n to make the whole mountain your playground
4 years ago
17 0
profile picture
TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12707 - Karma: 120,058
Once upon a time in a galaxy known as shloopy rat bangers200X7 there lived a tight knit community of rodents. These rodents were not like the others that modern day humans have become accustomed to, no they were much worse, they were the stickiest slimiest rat fucks you’ve ever seen, parasites coating every inch of their pathetic bodies. To pass the time, these rat fucks liked to gather toothpicks, tie them to their feet and slide down little mounds of their own shit. They would squeak and squeal, having the time of their short pathetic lives. Until one day the rat fucks discovered technology and created a primitive online forum to talk about their shit sticks and mud slides. It was a great time to be alive as a rat fuck, self expression was abundant and shit slides were being shared amongst like minded rats. But then the most disgusting of the saucy creatures started posting in droves. The community quickly became a toxic breeding ground of sharp rodent fingers pointed at one another or conversation of which rat fucks parents paid for them to go to windells and which ones had more privilege than the other. A once sacred community of shit sliders was now facing bigger problems, like if pdogs parents did or didn’t buy him his camera. In the sheer chaos of all the mud puddles and rat cream there came one rat to emerge from the ashes of what used to be a sacred kingdom. His name was Isaac freeland. With his sacred heart he United the community more than he would ever know. Let’s take this day to remember everything he has given the lowly goop stained rat fucks. Matter of fact, let us all celebrate this day every year, July 18th as the day of Isaac. Please walk in the light my brothers, not on the side sesiatan.
4 years ago
14 0
profile picture
deadhead420
Posts: 2123 - Karma: 18,676
WoFlowzS**o B*g H**n to make the whole mountain your playground

Make NS uncensored again
4 years ago
15 0
profile picture
Christian_Bale
Posts: 2265 - Karma: 25,712
Imo most important thing is to have a group of people to ski with. It's great to have friendly competition as u progress and also have people who can give u advice. Not like a coach but other skiers can give u feedback on stuff that u might not notice by yourself ( such as setting a spin too early or fixing an issue with ur switch stance)
4 years ago
11 0
profile picture
xiaolongbao
Posts: 60 - Karma: 1,261
this place gets interesting in the summer
4 years ago
17 0
profile picture
ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
xiaolongbaothis place gets interesting in the summer


Cus the only thing to do in the summer is get fucked up and shit post on newschoolers
4 years ago
18 0
profile picture
sullivano*b
Posts: 1234 - Karma: 8,139
Oh.Its.NuggsSo after careful deliberation and the fact anything remotely good for touring costs more than my car I've decided to go full park rat.

Now, I've been skiing since i could walk but I'm still fairly terrible, especially in park.

What does a dedicated park rat need, how do I go about progressing, how many bong rips do i take before i attempt to hit a rail and most importantly, how on goods green earth do you afford it? (For reference im a kiwi, everything's expenny here and the snows pretty average)

Any park rats in the upper south island that will take me in?

Regards,
A shit skier who just wants to lap the park with some homies xx


my biggest advice would be don't be a pussy, you can hit a rail first 10 tries no problem if you just keep trying and have a general understanding of what your doing wrong. gear doesn't matter but once your more into it your gonna want to get the 5xl but boots and skis are the most important then you'll figure out what you want for the rest of your kit. hike rails until you can't anymore and hike up your mountain or another mountain for snow patches and bring a shovel, some of the best days are ones where your building features for half the time. once you have specific questions on specific tricks come back and we will help.
4 years ago
11 0
profile picture
asparagus
Posts: 2500 - Karma: 28,453
Also if you can slide boxes really well just hit a rail going extra fast and look at the end of it, feels almost the same.
4 years ago
7 0
profile picture
Biffbarf
Posts: 7440 - Karma: 79,710
Park is so 2020. We're making the whole mountain our playground now.
4 years ago
20 0
profile picture
BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9616 - Karma: 71,541
one of the biggest compliments I've ever received was that I had park style just doing my usual bird ripping in my hoodie. I was so proud of myself.
4 years ago
9 0
profile picture
switchlip2
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 25,179
Oh.Its.NuggsSo after careful deliberation and the fact anything remotely good for touring costs more than my car I've decided to go full park rat.

Now, I've been skiing since i could walk but I'm still fairly terrible, especially in park.

What does a dedicated park rat need, how do I go about progressing, how many bong rips do i take before i attempt to hit a rail and most importantly, how on goods green earth do you afford it? (For reference im a kiwi, everything's expenny here and the snows pretty average)

Any park rats in the upper south island that will take me in?

Regards,
A shit skier who just wants to lap the park with some homies xx


4 years ago
8 0
profile picture
ToddlerBodyBag
Posts: 283 - Karma: 2,093
Step 1 is to develope a superiority complex to all other types of skiing
4 years ago
19 0
profile picture
Skiblade420
Posts: 1001 - Karma: 16,475
It was my first season skiing and hitting a rail was so much easier than I thought. Just have to push past the initial fear.

Hit it with two or three times the speed you initially think you should go, not only will there be less friction to fall, even if you do fall you’ll probably end up falling past the rail or to the side. Put more weight on your front foot when you slide on it and keep your knees bent and feet a little more than shoulder width initially. You’ll be fine. Oh and detune your edges
4 years ago
9 0
profile picture
CaIeb
Posts: 325 - Karma: 2,590
just buy full tilts and wear goggles under helmet and you’ll be good to go👍
4 years ago
4 0
profile picture
X_ANKILLA
Posts: 2576 - Karma: -11,925
Oh.Its.NuggsSo after careful deliberation and the fact anything remotely good for touring costs more than my car I've decided to go full park rat.

Now, I've been skiing since i could walk but I'm still fairly terrible, especially in park.

What does a dedicated park rat need, how do I go about progressing, how many bong rips do i take before i attempt to hit a rail and most importantly, how on goods green earth do you afford it? (For reference im a kiwi, everything's expenny here and the snows pretty average)

Any park rats in the upper south island that will take me in?

Regards,
A shit skier who just wants to lap the park with some homies xx


Bruh just start. Literally just find the smallest shit that you can't do yet and learn it. Then learn the next smallest trick, and the next, next, next. Learn 1 new thing a day.
4 years ago
6 0
profile picture
Chrischi69
Posts: 652 - Karma: 5,064
Idk smoke lots of weed
4 years ago
5 2
profile picture
SuspiciousFish
Posts: 2794 - Karma: 16,914
Find a pool with a diving board and go there as much as possible. Focus on straight airs with good form such as always keep your eyes level ahead of you and having control when you jump. Then do a bunch of 360s on the diving board then 540s and backflips if you feel comfortable. Lincoln Loops are fun as hell on the high dives too and look sick. Pro park skiers basically live at the pool, tramps or gymnastics facility all summer.
4 years ago
5 0
profile picture
JAHBRADOR
Posts: 3164 - Karma: 18,843
Befriend people in the park that make fun of you for being shit. This will make you go way harder and +respec when you inevitably yeet yourself into oblivion after being peer pressured into doing something way outside of your skill set.
4 years ago
7 0
profile picture
jompcock
Posts: 1578 - Karma: 11,744
Take a full mtn lap every now and then. Just lapping the park can set you in kind of a rut and a top to bottom lap every now and then will help clear your head. Doesn't need to be often but being good at skiing in general translates to good style. Practicing switch skiing on mellow trails will help you develop good habits and make it less sketchy to go right to sending switch tricks.

Gonna answer the bong rip question seriously.... Take a few warm up laps before lighting up, most people that smoke first lap are either already really good, or have been doing the same tricks for the past several years.

Get to know the folks at your local ski shop. They'll often hook you up with cheap/free mounts for a plate of brownies/beer.

Unironically get Vishnus
4 years ago
5 0
profile picture
Oh.Its.Nuggs
Posts: 10 - Karma: 180
I would actually love a pair of Vishnus, just waiting for them to drop more so i can buy some, and i work at the only ski shop around actually, so i already get free workshop stuff and pro deals on most gear.
jompcockTake a full mtn lap every now and then. Just lapping the park can set you in kind of a rut and a top to bottom lap every now and then will help clear your head. Doesn't need to be often but being good at skiing in general translates to good style. Practicing switch skiing on mellow trails will help you develop good habits and make it less sketchy to go right to sending switch tricks.

Gonna answer the bong rip question seriously.... Take a few warm up laps before lighting up, most people that smoke first lap are either already really good, or have been doing the same tricks for the past several years.

Get to know the folks at your local ski shop. They'll often hook you up with cheap/free mounts for a plate of brownies/beer.

Unironically get Vishnus
4 years ago
4 0
profile picture
Christian_Bale
Posts: 2265 - Karma: 25,712
jompcockUnironically get Vishnus

I kind of disagree with this even though I ride vishnus myself. If you're learning park, you're probably going to be landing backseat a lot, and the skis are indisputably very soft. Given those two things, flexing out will probably be relatively common occurrence (happens to me). I think it would be easier to have a slightly stiffer pair of skis that would be more stable for landings. then later on switch to vishnus.

not tryna suggest vishnus are bad for jumps at all, they're fine imo. I just think that going for a more "neutral" ski is better for a beginner park skier and then they can later decide that they wanna start flexing their skis more and get vishnus
4 years ago
3 0
profile picture
Oh.Its.Nuggs
Posts: 10 - Karma: 180
I'm currently on some 2018 Line SFBs which i think will be fine until i kill them, then i can worry about some park specific skis
Christian_BaleI kind of disagree with this even though I ride vishnus myself. If you're learning park, you're probably going to be landing backseat a lot, and the skis are indisputably very soft. Given those two things, flexing out will probably be relatively common occurrence (happens to me). I think it would be easier to have a slightly stiffer pair of skis that would be more stable for landings. then later on switch to vishnus.

not tryna suggest vishnus are bad for jumps at all, they're fine imo. I just think that going for a more "neutral" ski is better for a beginner park skier and then they can later decide that they wanna start flexing their skis more and get vishnus
4 years ago
2 0
profile picture
jompcock
Posts: 1578 - Karma: 11,744
Christian_BaleI kind of disagree with this even though I ride vishnus myself. If you're learning park, you're probably going to be landing backseat a lot, and the skis are indisputably very soft. Given those two things, flexing out will probably be relatively common occurrence (happens to me). I think it would be easier to have a slightly stiffer pair of skis that would be more stable for landings. then later on switch to vishnus.

not tryna suggest vishnus are bad for jumps at all, they're fine imo. I just think that going for a more "neutral" ski is better for a beginner park skier and then they can later decide that they wanna start flexing their skis more and get vishnus


I ride the plus and have tail pressed pretty hard on some jump landings but not really when just doing upright spins. I've been wanting to try the key which I'm sure would be better in that regard. I'll probably pre order them after this season if people seem to like them.
4 years ago
3 0
profile picture
Christian_Bale
Posts: 2265 - Karma: 25,712
jompcockI ride the plus and have tail pressed pretty hard on some jump landings but not really when just doing upright spins. I've been wanting to try the key which I'm sure would be better in that regard. I'll probably pre order them after this season if people seem to like them.

Tru I was thinking of the wets in my last response. I def wanna try the plus but I'm excited to ride the 189s next season
4 years ago
3 0
profile picture
rymeisterbaby
Posts: 122 - Karma: -578
Oh.Its.NuggsSo after careful deliberation and the fact anything remotely good for touring costs more than my car I've decided to go full park rat.

Now, I've been skiing since i could walk but I'm still fairly terrible, especially in park.

What does a dedicated park rat need, how do I go about progressing, how many bong rips do i take before i attempt to hit a rail and most importantly, how on goods green earth do you afford it? (For reference im a kiwi, everything's expenny here and the snows pretty average)

Any park rats in the upper south island that will take me in?

Regards,
A shit skier who just wants to lap the park with some homies xx

where virtika or jibberish 10xxxxxl
3 years ago
0 5
profile picture
Bio_8
Posts: 236 - Karma: 1,126
Always go harlaut baggy
3 years ago
0 0
profile picture
ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
OP did you become a park rat?
3 years ago
0 0
profile picture
Bio_8
Posts: 236 - Karma: 1,126
ReturnToMonkeyOP did you become a park rat?



3 years ago
2 0
profile picture
ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
Bio_8

Wait a sec you're not op
3 years ago
2 0
profile picture
Oh.Its.Nuggs
Posts: 10 - Karma: 180
Winter is finally here, i can try again after lockdown stiffed us last year
ReturnToMonkeyOP did you become a park rat?
3 years ago
6 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 0:45AM