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abjectwoe
May, 2025

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What's your morning routine

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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,983
No tl/Dr's please
4 years ago
5 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,194
>be me
>work at 8
>work from home
>roll out of bed at 7:59 to turn computer on
4 years ago
22 0
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.nasty
Posts: 10598 - Karma: 11,396
wake up @6am
coffee
spin bike
go to work, open up shop @10am
go skiing around 11am
come back to work around 1-2pm
4 years ago
15 0
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brosasaki
Posts: 108 - Karma: 826
wake up
brush teeth, wash face etc.
go gym, return early
procrastinate
take shower
leave dorm
4 years ago
6 0
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,983
Wake up whenever
Eye drops ti unglue eyes
#2#1 or brush teeth whatever is most urgent
Watch TV, something mellow we're people aren't arguing
Look at phone till I finish waking up, 1.5-2hrs
Do whatever
4 years ago
8 0
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guelah_papyrus
Posts: 122 - Karma: 841
>alarm goes off at 5:59am
>roll out of bed/turn pc on and check in 6:00am
>make coffee and relax til 6:25am
>say/email something bullshit at 6:30am to show I'm working
>take shit and chill until 7:30am
>Browse the internet and putter around while doing the least amount of effort for my job to not get any attention

All in all i maybe do about 1-2 hours of actual work from 6am-3pm. 5 day/40 hour work week is a fucking joke. WFH is the best thing about covid
4 years ago
11 0
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OregonDead
Posts: 7073 - Karma: 26,621
1. get on NS
2. drink coffee
3. eat gummy worms
repeat
4 years ago
15 1
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vibecheck
Posts: 3112 - Karma: 15,206
OregonDead1. get on NS
2. drink coffee
3. eat gummy worms
repeat

this,
the hive mind of ns
4 years ago
11 0
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bmick
Posts: 220 - Karma: 2,637
1. put on my full tilts
2. swim with dolphins
3. make sure I have good new schoolers karma
4. sleep
4 years ago
11 1
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,985
>wake up
>take a shit
>get out of bed
4 years ago
23 0
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Sdot.
Posts: 4103 - Karma: 4,487
3:30am alarm - use washroom, get gym clothes on
3:45am eat
4:30am drive to gym and lift
6:15am drive home and rinse body/wash face
6:40am help get kiddos ready for preschool, make husband's lunch
7:00am get dressed/ready for work, blast music
7:30am head to work
7:40am make covfefe, light candle, check personal email
8:00am - 6:30pm work...
4 years ago
9 2
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ModMommy
Posts: 10877 - Karma: 58,290
6:15 wake up, sun salutations
6:20 wash face, put on makeup, brush teeth (walk dog if roommate is in bathroom)
6:40 walk dog (flipped with wash face if roommate was in bathroom)
7:00 get dressed for real
7:05 eat breakfast
7:20 leave for work
4 years ago
5 0
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Bended_Toenail
Posts: 1417 - Karma: 10,230
For most days:
6:30- Wake up and do some light stretching and yoga
7:00- Shower and either go to the gym/bike or just chill
8:00- Start preparing a lunch or dinner depending on the day
8:30- Read the news on computer, drink tea, talk to roommates, listen to music/podcast
9:30- Go to work

For days I don't work:
7:30- Shower, listen to music, make some lunch/dinner, chat with roommates, yoga
9ish- Go ski, maybe for a few hours, maybe all day.
4 years ago
4 0
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Jems
Posts: 7733 - Karma: 101,178
> wake up
> almost shit my pants every morning
> smoke weed
> i forgot
4 years ago
13 1
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
12:00 am: begin stressing that its yet another sleepless night
1:00 am: still half listening to podcasts
2~5 am: maybe sleep a bit? Avoid checking what time it is as that makes it worse
6:30 am: alarm goes off. Usually awake before it
6:31 am: fall into a deep sleep
7:00 am: alarm goes off again
7:15 am: open NS
7:30 am: get out of bed, eat, piss, brush teeth, get dressed
7:35 am: start car and get ready for class. Get on NS again
7:49 am: panic and realise what time it is and rush to class, hitting every red light on the way
8-9 am: struggle to stay awake in class

**This post was edited on Mar 25th 2021 at 11:42:08pm
4 years ago
8 0
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,985
Jems> wake up
> almost shit my pants every morning
> smoke weed
> I forgot


I struggle with step 2 all the time

the trick is to sleep without pants so theres nothing to shit in
4 years ago
5 0
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Bended_Toenail
Posts: 1417 - Karma: 10,230
ReturnToMonkey12:00 am: begin stressing that its yet another sleepless night
1:00 am: still half listening to podcasts
2~5 am: maybe sleep a bit? Avoid checking what time it is as that makes it worse
6:30 am: alarm goes off. Usually awake before it
6:31 am: fall into a deep sleep
7:00 am: alarm goes off again
7:15 am: open NS
7:30 am: get out of bed, eat, piss, brush teeth, get dressed
7:35 am: start car and get ready for class. Get on NS again
7:49 am: panic and realise what time it is and rush to class, hitting every red light on the way
8-9 am: struggle to stay awake in class

**This post was edited on Mar 25th 2021 at 11:42:08pm


podcasts are really a lifesaver for us insomniacs
4 years ago
5 0
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Young_patty
Posts: 3340 - Karma: 39,266
Wake up

poop (before anything else [usually what wakes me up])

put together fire fit

Dangit I can’t find matching socks

say fuck it and put on 2 different socks

make coffee and breaky, lately it’s been cereal with bananers on top- fancy Ik.

open window and watch neighbors cats romp in the garden for a few minutes

log into D2L and begin whatever classes I have that day.
4 years ago
9 0
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oldmanski
Posts: 3614 - Karma: 27,052
Wake up every morning before the alarm due to the dog wanting to go outside
Get a basic workout in before 7 am
Shower/breakfast, kiss the wife and boy goodbye, off to work at 7:30
NS at 8am
4 years ago
11 0
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CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6482 - Karma: 66,440
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/998612/Kendrick-Lamar---Swimming-Pools--Drank-
4 years ago
0 0
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piss.boy
Posts: 1491 - Karma: 10,621
Wake up in april.

Scream at wall until about november.

Buy ski gear.

To sleepy to ski

Fall asleep until next april.

Repeat.
4 years ago
4 1
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,331
Proclaim love to the world

**This post was edited on Mar 26th 2021 at 10:14:15am

**This post was edited on Mar 26th 2021 at 10:14:49am
4 years ago
1 3
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12705 - Karma: 120,044
1. Wake up in the morning, feelin' like P Diddy
2. Grab my glasses
3. I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
4. Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin' back
4 years ago
22 0
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ModMommy
Posts: 10877 - Karma: 58,290
safarisam6:15 wake up, sun salutations
6:20 wash face, put on makeup, brush teeth (walk dog if roommate is in bathroom)
6:40 walk dog (flipped with wash face if roommate was in bathroom)
7:00 get dressed for real
7:05 eat breakfast
7:20 leave for work


except for today apparently when I woke up at 7:00 and left in a hurry at 7:30
4 years ago
5 0
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5713 - Karma: 20,647
safarisamexcept for today apparently when I woke up at 7:00 and left in a hurry at 7:30


rip dog walkies
4 years ago
2 0
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,966
>snooze my alarm for an hour+
>roll out of bed feeling like shit and depressed
>make coffee and watch the sunrise in my coffee chair
>waste time catching pokemon, browsing newschoolers, and scrolling on insta
>get in my truck and get annoyed with people dropping off their kids at school across the street
>stereo stops working halfway through the drive
>get to work 10-30 minutes late every single day
4 years ago
10 1
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270on420out
Posts: 7524 - Karma: 51,324
Coffee, shit, shower, stretch. In that exact order. If any one component is changed then the whole morning is just fucked.
4 years ago
7 0
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Hoodhustler
Posts: 131 - Karma: 1,085
icedI struggle with step 2 all the time

the trick is to sleep without pants so theres nothing to shit in


How does one achieve this level of intelligence?
4 years ago
0 0
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ModMommy
Posts: 10877 - Karma: 58,290
CaptainObvious.rip dog walkies


Nope, she got a walk and I gave myself like 5 min to get ready and out the door. Dog is the priority, always.
4 years ago
3 0
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,966
Can't forget the morning dump I take at work because I like to get paid to poop.
4 years ago
7 0
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
No.QuarterCan't forget the morning dump I take at work because I like to get paid to poop.

At my cook job, I got unlimited free coffee... It was great cus free coffee and it induced more time to get paid to shit with my shit for pay. Unfortunately I am now severely addicted to caffeine and it is no longer free
4 years ago
0 0
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,983
ReturnToMonkeyAt my cook job, I got unlimited free coffee... It was great cus free coffee and it induced more time to get paid to shit with my shit for pay. Unfortunately I am now severely addicted to caffeine and it is no longer free


I'd do that if I was burned out on a job, go have lots if toilet time, smoke a bowl, talk on the phone just to move the day along
4 years ago
1 0
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ModMommy
Posts: 10877 - Karma: 58,290
No.QuarterCan't forget the morning dump I take at work because I like to get paid to poop.

8:30 poop break is a life saver
4 years ago
2 0
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,985
Yunggg_jonHow does one achieve this level of intelligence?


clean a pair of shit covered pants for at least 10 years
4 years ago
1 0
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Treegrabber
Posts: 831 - Karma: 11,928
Get up
3 lines of coke
Say bye to the girl that was here (different every time)
have my butler deliver breakfast
take laps in my pool
swim to my other pool
take more laps
a few rounds of tennis on my tennis court
then hop in the lambo and head up to my ski hill
4 years ago
12 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 52611 - Karma: 174,447
10:20 PM
Spend 5 to 10 laying in bed sad
10:30 decide I'll go to work get up and start coffee gathering boots work pants maybe a snack.

10:55 leave home. 11:00 punch in.

9am punch out to go drink or ride when most peoples mornings are just beginning.


It's fucked. Dont work nights
4 years ago
9 0
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5713 - Karma: 20,647
theabortionator10:20 PM
Spend 5 to 10 laying in bed sad
10:30 decide I'll go to work get up and start coffee gathering boots work pants maybe a snack.

10:55 leave home. 11:00 punch in.

9am punch out to go drink or ride when most peoples mornings are just beginning.


It's fucked. Dont work nights


I did grave shifts for 6 weeks as a computer tech at Dish Network HQ. it was god awful. Then I slept five hours and went to serve tables at Olive Garden. Desk jobs are boring, but that struggle ain’t worth it
4 years ago
1 0
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asparagus
Posts: 2500 - Karma: 28,453
TRVP_ANGEL1. Wake up in the morning, feelin' like P Diddy
2. Grab my glasses
3. I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
4. Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin' back


1. Got my grub on, but didn’t pig out
2. Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out
3. Hooked it up for later as I hit the door
4. Thinkin “will I live another 24?”
4 years ago
9 0
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X_MEMESWERVE_XX
Posts: 3945 - Karma: 33,347
Wake up somewhere between 7-10am depending on work or what I got going on for the day.
Do 15ish minutes of yoga/stretching.
Make breakfast or go to the coffee shop.
hang out at coffee shop, do homework, shitpost in NS until about noon.
rest of the day is up to whatever
4 years ago
3 0
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Brule.
Posts: 3988 - Karma: 6,712
Wake up after snoozing my alarms for twenty minutes straight

pre-shower shit ritual

shower

eat/pack lunch for work

brush my teeth

work

come back home

eat

fukn blaze it

watch tv, browse socials til I pass out

rinse and repeat
4 years ago
5 0
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-olives
Posts: 545 - Karma: 2,824
wake up at 6:15

shit from 6:15 to 6:30

get dressed

shit again from 6:40 to 6:50

leave and get to work by 7

shit again after clocking in

(i brush my teeth and put deodorant on at some point in the process)

nicotine is a bitch.
4 years ago
3 0
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-olives
Posts: 545 - Karma: 2,824
TreegrabberGet up
3 lines of coke
Say bye to the girl that was here (different every time)
have my butler deliver breakfast
take laps in my pool
swim to my other pool
take more laps
a few rounds of tennis on my tennis court
then hop in the lambo and head up to my ski hill


enlighten me but if you can swim from one pool to another... isn't it just one pool? broke ass only has one pool.
4 years ago
6 0
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Treegrabber
Posts: 831 - Karma: 11,928
I would but broke people like you wouldn’t understand this kind of rich speak
-olivesenlighten me but if you can swim from one pool to another... isn't it just one pool? broke ass only has one pool.
4 years ago
5 0
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Slowbro
Posts: 4129 - Karma: 24,620
Wake up at 8:30
shit
shower
Coffee and breakfast
homework and class from 9-3
go skiing
shit
dinner
shower
read
sleep

**This post was edited on Mar 28th 2021 at 12:19:21pm
4 years ago
1 0
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Bdoobz
Posts: 838 - Karma: 4,899
wake up
make coffee (x3-4)
school
bed
4 years ago
2 0
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McNoche
Posts: 1736 - Karma: 3,620
Brush teeth
Eat ass
head to work
4 years ago
4 3
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BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9616 - Karma: 71,531
Wake up at 7:50
Hop in Shower, brush teeth, put on suit
Get in Car at 8:15 for 20 minute drive to work
Get to work at 8:30 and work till 5:05 then come home
4 years ago
2 0
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-olives
Posts: 545 - Karma: 2,824
McNocheBrush teeth
Eat ass
head to work


i admire the ass eating after the tooth brushing
4 years ago
4 0
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GeorgiaJibber
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 1,354
-Wake up
-Piss
-Chug a bottle of water
-Make myself coffee
-Drink coffee that I made while smoking a cigarette
-Proceed to shit my brains out from coffee and cigarette
-Shower and get dressed

If any of these steps are out of order my morning is ruined
4 years ago
1 0
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 6448 - Karma: 70,207
-olivesi admire the ass eating after the tooth brushing


Gotta be able to taste the full palette without bad breath contamination.
4 years ago
2 0
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,331
Wake up.

1. How am I feeling?

A.) Good ----------> Troll NS

B.) Bad -------------> Troll NS

2. Am I hungover?

A.) Yes 8=========> Jerk off / receive BJ ------------> Troll NS

B.) No ----------------> Workout ---------------------> then Troll NS

3.) Am I hungry

A.) Yes 8================> Jerk off ----------------> Eat breakfast

B.) Eat anyway. Be a man.

4.) Is it a weekday?

A.) Yes ------------> Work at about 25% of my actual capacity and troll NS the other 75%

B.) No --------------> Start drinking as early as possible --------> Shitpost the fuck out of NS
4 years ago
4 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 3:54PM