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Best thing you have ever stolen

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ChadThundercock
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 783
Let me start by saying stealing is bad, but sometimes something so bad can feel so good. Everyone has stolen something, so this is a safe zone.

Stealing Bitcoin in 2011 was my finest moment. Unfortunately, it was spent on LSD shortly after, also in 2011. But the knowledge? Priceless. I used Bitcoin like Biff Tannen used his future predictions book in back to the future.
Jan 12 2020 10:56PM
5 12
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,174
When I was ten I stole an IPhone. Me and my friends use to shoplift in the changing rooms at the mall as well.
I have morals now though.
Jan 13 2020 3:00AM
5 11
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tsingtaofanatic
Posts: 3344 - Karma: 4,579
the wizard hood i currently use fro skiing was stolen technically. it was the end of the day and somebody left it on the table and i waited, considered bringing it to the lost and found but went fuck it and took it. so sorry to the person who left it but finders keepers.
Jan 13 2020 3:16AM
3 14
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Loud710
Posts: 58 - Karma: 320
25 pack of takis
Jan 13 2020 3:43AM
6 0
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connecticunt
Posts: 842 - Karma: 1,525
There was a huge air bnb house on the road I lived on back east and there would be random parties there every so often when events, concerts, or a lot of college kids came through. My friend and I would walk over and invite ourselves to them and there was one night there were about 30 umass guys having a reunion. It was fine until a few of them kinda cornered us into a bedroom but was okay because we knew the bathroom connected to another bedroom that was right next to an exit. So we excuses ourselves to freshen up, headed out the next bedroom and on the dresser was a large pile of what I could only assume was baby powder, so we scooped it into a bag, exited out the window, and left them to their sausage fest with one less ball.
Jan 13 2020 10:23AM
25 1
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4751 - Karma: -560
HYP3R_REAL1TYWhen I was ten I stole an IPhone. Me and my friends use to shoplift in the changing rooms at the mall as well.
I have morals now though.


This is gonna show my age because the phone in question was the top of the line at the time Nextel that was part walkie talkie part phone (you saved your minutes using the walkie) so was in High School before smart phones. I was on my way to a concert it was Phil Lesh and Trey and it was in Hartford only an hour away but my buddy was super OCD and wanted to stop for an oil change at Jiffy Lube before he drove.

So I go to take a dump while they are doing the change. In the bathroom on top of the TP is the brand new hottest phone on the market Nextel this was THE phone at the time. I didn't have any inclination to steal it... but I opened it up and looked
and the background was some black guy holding an assault rifle. All of his pictures were of his dick. So I had to take it and show my friends. It was obviously one of the dudes working there. So while we are waiting I'm like I got something for you guys all giddy and shit. So we drive away and are all shitting our pants laughing at the guys pics and an hour in the kid whos drivings dad calls him and is like 'the cops just called me go give that guy his phone back in the next hour or your all facing charges.'

So we had to turn around and of course I had to go in and give him his phone back. But I made his dick the background before doing so.
Jan 13 2020 1:24PM
20 0
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dirtybong
Posts: 28 - Karma: 171
absolutely beautiful
PeppermillRenoThis is gonna show my age because the phone in question was the top of the line at the time Nextel that was part walkie talkie part phone (you saved your minutes using the walkie) so was in High School before smart phones. I was on my way to a concert it was Phil Lesh and Trey and it was in Hartford only an hour away but my buddy was super OCD and wanted to stop for an oil change at Jiffy Lube before he drove.

So I go to take a dump while they are doing the change. In the bathroom on top of the TP is the brand new hottest phone on the market Nextel this was THE phone at the time. I didn't have any inclination to steal it... but I opened it up and looked
and the background was some black guy holding an assault rifle. All of his pictures were of his dick. So I had to take it and show my friends. It was obviously one of the dudes working there. So while we are waiting I'm like I got something for you guys all giddy and shit. So we drive away and are all shitting our pants laughing at the guys pics and an hour in the kid whos drivings dad calls him and is like 'the cops just called me go give that guy his phone back in the next hour or your all facing charges.'

So we had to turn around and of course I had to go in and give him his phone back. But I made his dick the background before doing so.
Jan 13 2020 1:27PM
6 0
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4751 - Karma: -560
The best thing to steal has always been textbooks.

I hate frat bro culture so never felt bad. The move would always be go to one of their lame ass parties where theres like 2 kegs for 500 kids and go upstairs have a kid standing outside with an empty hockey bag while you went into all those douchebags room and just tossed every textbook you saw out of the window. If it was the first couple weekends of school you could return them with no receipt or anything to the school bookstore and get full price cash didn't even have to sell them back.

I once hid in a school bookstore at another friends college right before it closed and then opened the back door for my boys and we got a couple hundred super expensive textbooks. Sold them slowly all summer at BU and BC for drug money LOLOLOL.
Jan 13 2020 2:27PM
16 2
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goldlion
Posts: 51 - Karma: 70
wow

the three things i remember stealing are as follows:



pokemon cards: i was like maybe 10 or something, there was a pack of pokemon cards already opened, wrapper and cards strewn about behind some stuff on an endcap in the toys section at target (or walmart or shopko maybe), i didnt even play pokemon or give a fuck about the cards, and even though looking back the good card (usually card packs have like 1 more valuable card, a rare or something) was probably taken, i still felt really bad after taking them. just ended up throwing them away or something, didn't even collect them. kids are weird.

ice: forgot to buy ice before leaving store, didnt want to walk back in, just grabbed a bag from the container outside and went on about my day - no regrets because i think they'd understand

dog chew: my dog loves bully sticks (dried up bull penis chew thing, go look them up) - grocery store near me changed their price for these little sticks from like $4 for one to like $7 or something ridiculous, was pissed at how overpriced they were, reached into the box of them and stuffed one up the sleeve of my jacket and paid for everything else just not the bully stick.

and there you have it, the best thing i've ever stolen was a dried up bull penis.
Jan 13 2020 4:06PM
3 6
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,174
Oh yeah I used to go to the supermarket and walk around eating food from the shelf lol. Was like 10 also

i was like Eric cartman as a kid
Jan 14 2020 6:16AM
4 4
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Afghan__kush
Posts: 11 - Karma: 50
HYP3R_REAL1TYWhen I was ten I stole an IPhone. Me and my friends use to shoplift in the changing rooms at the mall as well.
I have morals now though.


WOW, U FUCKING BADASS MOFO
Jan 14 2020 7:46AM
7 0
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,174
HYP3R__REAL1TYWOW, U FUCKING BADASS MOFO


I am pretty bad ass tbh. Jump off cliffs in my spare time, ski round the world. I’ve tried a ridiculous amount of drugs. And have some crazy ass stories. Best thing? I’m only 21.

And I’m the mafia boss of a skiing forum!
Jan 14 2020 8:33AM
6 14
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b0ss
Posts: 778 - Karma: 6,107
This comment has been removed by the King County Sheriff Department.

**This post was edited on Jan 18th 2020 at 6:17:49pm
Jan 14 2020 10:44AM
9 0
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ChadThundercock
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 783
This is going to be a legendary thread
Jan 14 2020 6:55PM
5 7
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mattytru
Posts: 2767 - Karma: 5,480
always used to take lil gourmet cheeses from king soopers while grocery shopping lol
Jan 14 2020 7:41PM
0 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876
We lived next to a frat house in college. We would always steal their kegs and doors lmao
Jan 14 2020 8:10PM
4 0
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dudesh1t
Posts: 80 - Karma: 38
y'all are all guilty of stealing porn. pay for your porn!!!
Jan 14 2020 8:30PM
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GrapeHunter
Posts: 2329 - Karma: 7,891
Best thing I stole...
ur girls heart 😎❤️
Jan 14 2020 9:06PM
13 1
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b00mSkis
Posts: 240 - Karma: -814
I stole a pro skier's pride when I sent it bigger than him, does that count?
Jan 14 2020 11:22PM
4 4
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,972
I was advised to never admit to a crime
Jan 15 2020 2:01AM
9 0
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losh
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 4,691
When I was a freshman in college our basketball team won the championship (regional or some shit idk) we're a D3 school so nobody else cares. But it was a big deal around school. After the game the team threw a super shitty party and me and my homies were bummed that the party sucked. Those idiots left the trophy on the living room table or something and we walked right out with it. Now we are the champions. They obviously didn't say shit cause they're dumb as fuk for losing it in the first place. Still have it, waiting for the right moment to do something dumb with it. Might not be the best thing I've ever stolen but it's up there.
Jan 15 2020 12:51PM
10 0
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Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
Chad's moms V card
Jan 15 2020 1:19PM
6 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876
loshWhen I was a freshman in college our basketball team won the championship (regional or some shit idk) we're a D3 school so nobody else cares. But it was a big deal around school. After the game the team threw a super shitty party and me and my homies were bummed that the party sucked. Those idiots left the trophy on the living room table or something and we walked right out with it. Now we are the champions. They obviously didn't say shit cause they're dumb as fuk for losing it in the first place. Still have it, waiting for the right moment to do something dumb with it. Might not be the best thing I've ever stolen but it's up there.

You threw a party for the basketball team and it sucked. So then you went and stole their trophy?
Jan 15 2020 1:34PM
2 6
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ThatSkiierKidd64
Posts: 338 - Karma: 900
When I was a kid like 7 or 8 I didn't know what tipping was and would just assume that people left free money on the table for anyone. I pocketed around 300 bucks before my mom found all the cash and lost her shit. She returned it all the the previous restaurant we went to.
Jan 15 2020 6:12PM
6 0
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Legend27
Posts: 25 - Karma: 124
One of my buddies wanted to make a pack of ramen noodles in rez but didn't have a microwave. He then decided to go to Walmart and steal a kettle because how else can you boil water.
Jan 15 2020 6:32PM
3 0
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losh
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 4,691
STEEZUS_CHRI5TYou threw a party for the basketball team and it sucked. So then you went and stole their trophy?


A second grade reading comprehension would've revealed the fact that the team threw the shitty party.
Jan 15 2020 8:21PM
10 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,169
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/951219/COPS-Theme-Song--TV-Version-
Jan 15 2020 10:09PM
1 0
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little1337
Posts: 8161 - Karma: 45,815
Once stole a balloon with my buddy. Luckily, it was free balloon day.
Jan 15 2020 10:15PM
7 1
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dudesh1t
Posts: 80 - Karma: 38
whole foods. honestly i used to just walk out with stuff all the time. keep in mind i mainly did this when i was on a lot of medication or drunk as it is kinda hard to do sober or with a clear head. but ya do enough drugs to the point where u dont give a fuck or even think about the consequences.
Jan 15 2020 10:23PM
0 2
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Young_patty
Posts: 3242 - Karma: 36,771
bongripperthe wizard hood i currently use fro skiing was stolen technically. it was the end of the day and somebody left it on the table and i waited, considered bringing it to the lost and found but went fuck it and took it. so sorry to the person who left it but finders keepers.


stealing from chumps is one thing but stealing from your fellow skier is fucked up.


on that note the best thing I ever stole was not buying a lift ticket at buck hill, they had me arrested and took me to court but the judge could not have cared less and fined me $25. The best part? a lift ticket was $30, so in the end I still stole that $5 of skiing and the charges got dropped- had a 1 year restraining order with the hill tho which was bunk.
Jan 15 2020 10:35PM
14 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876
loshA second grade reading comprehension would've revealed the fact that the team threw the shitty party.

they threw it at his house?
Jan 16 2020 12:17AM
0 1
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armchair_skier
Posts: 2110 - Karma: 26,554
STEEZUS_CHRI5Tthey threw it at his house?


bro just let it go
Jan 16 2020 2:15PM
1 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876
armchair_skierbro just let it go

You don’t get it
Jan 16 2020 2:47PM
2 0
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losh
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 4,691
STEEZUS_CHRI5Tthey threw it at his house?

You’re hopeless
Jan 17 2020 10:31AM
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876
loshYou’re hopeless

No, seriously. I still don’t get it and am actually confused. For real.
Jan 17 2020 11:30AM
0 1
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first_rodeo
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 7,764
Young_pattynot buying a lift ticket at buck hill, they had me arrested


Anyone else have a good "theft of services" ski hill story?
Jan 17 2020 12:48PM
0 0
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SuspiciousFish
Posts: 2781 - Karma: 16,801
Not really stealing but when I was doing a study abroad program and we were in Brussels. There they have those bikes you can rent by dropping a euro coin in the bike rack slot. We walked from the hotel to this bar and I realized I forgot my debit card so I had to walk all the way back. I was tired as shit by the time I got my card and a block from the hotel this kid was blackout drunk and abusing the shit out of one of those bikes. He was literally picking it up and throwing it down the street and yelling at it. Suddenly this idea came to me so I crept up behind him and just as he threw the bike I ran around him, snatched it up and hauled ass out of there while he screamed at me. It was a pretty crazy adrenaline rush being hammered and bombing down foreign streets at night on a bike half convinced his friends were going to come after me.
Jan 17 2020 5:00PM
3 0
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