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I just received a memo from the Ski Community outlining the new laws of ski videos. These rules are non-negotiable and are effective immediately.
It says that every video must now include slow motion tracking shots of people walking and/or looking at the camera. Extra points if middle fingers are involved. If you can show a slow motion close-up of a skier's face as they approach a feature, you're awesome and definitely not just copying Bill Strobeck. All title sequences must be displayed in minimalist serif fonts. The general idea is that it should look like you don't even give a shit about your own video. Although freestyle skiing has deep roots in hip hop, traditional rap songs are no longer acceptable. All songs must now include the extreme repetition of words like "aye" or "yuh," and must have little to no lyrical emphasis. It is also imperative that ALL skiers in your video now get their kits from thrift stores. Wearing actual ski pants/jackets is no longer allowed. Finally, it is recommended that you title your ski video using a name that has already been used. Recycling names has much better brand recognition, and involves much less work.
Remember, these rules were created to preserve originality. By abiding by these concise standards, you are showing that you are bold, fresh, and unique, NOT following the crowd. Any deviation from these rules will be punished by criticism and banishment.
Also, using a jump for its intended purpose is no longer acceptable in a video. All tricks must be done only on the knuckle. Extra drip points to actually dragging your knuckles on the knuckle
-A fisheye lens must be used for at least 60% of all clips filmed, and approximately half or more of those have to have slush dripping down the lens.
-The first 2 minutes of the edit must be acid washed and distorted so it is indiscernible what is playing on the screen. It is recommended to insert random PNG images onscreen throughout this introduction. The only exception to this is clips of people consuming alcohol or smoking marijuana.
-All rails clips must be shot from underneath using a fisheye lens.
-At least 3 clips must be shot on iphone in portrait mode.
-Goggles are forbidden; helmets are discouraged.
-If there is a street segment, only 1 mute grab can be performed in the video.
Dont forget at least 1 drone shot shooting straight down on a glade of trees so they look like a bunch of asparagus stalks. This is especially important for a park shoot.
Every pow line must include 1 nose butter 360 AFTER the main line is skied. Sorta like every skater does a tre’ flip after every hand rail make in skateboard videos.
What a totally unique, original take that i've never seen before. You'd be hard pressed to find any posts similar to this on NS. OP is totally not a hypocrite, no way.
Ok guys I hear you and I just wanna say that it’s ok to make fun of something you like. Trends are funny. Skiing is funny. That doesn’t mean I hate it or think I’m better than it. Cause I don’t. I’m just shitposting. Child Labor is doing cooler shit than I’ll ever do. Oliver is an artist. Keesh, bulldoz, zoot—they’re all awesome. I’m just messing around.
OP is an oldhead. Idk about freeskiing being embedded with rap or affiliated with it in any way other than like McFee (rip). Newschool skiing has on the other hand always been part of the counter culture, so the kids that don’t think wearing cotton below their knees or 00’s rap music is cool are just trying to be different.
To stay weird, you may have to change. You can’t keep doing the same thing with the same style, even if it reflects “the glory days”, because it becomes no longer weird.
but seriously too much slo mo gets annoying. Sammy C’s edit had way too much of it IMO. I’d rather see that man launch cliffs the size of my house than slo mo nosebutter after nosebutter, but that’s so 2012...
Not all fads are good.
They hated him because he spoke the truth
**This post was edited on Oct 31st 2019 at 3:05:17pm
artdamageOk guys I hear you and I just wanna say that it’s ok to make fun of something you like. Trends are funny. Skiing is funny. That doesn’t mean I hate it or think I’m better than it. Cause I don’t. I’m just shitposting. Child Labor is doing cooler shit than I’ll ever do. Oliver is an artist. Keesh, bulldoz, zoot—they’re all awesome. I’m just messing around.
Its funny people dont get this. Ski videos are off the wall nowadays but you can still poke some lighthearted fun at the same trends that show up again and again, were not actually hating on the content creators. For instance Stept is dope as shit but the slow-mo rail sound definitely felt overused by the end.
