The Bunch are a product of a secret FIS insurgency program

Warning NS, the information you are about to hear may be difficult to deal with. In recent years a surge of disapproval towards competition skiing has washed over our community. Those in disapproval claim that the scene has become stagnant, robotic, and wholly un-stylish. I am not here to debate that nature of this scene though. Instead, I come forward with an extremely classified piece of information direct from the executive quarters of the FIS. My global network of agents have risked life and limb to retrieve this information. The FIS sanctioned competition scene holds a dark truth. The FIS, through their series of sanctioned events are attempting to eradicate freestyle skiing, and transform it into aerials. By increasing regulations, and ever so slowly increasing the steepness of their jumps, the FIS hopes to eliminate free style skiing once and for all. In their eyes, free style skiing is an evil marijuana infused culture full of cork juice addicts who make fun of racers. This is where the Bunch come in. The Bunch are in fact not a squad of mysterious Scandinavian shredders. They are a band of genetically engineered creatures specifically designed to be as alternative, as stylish, and as weird as possible. The FIS created them to distract the free skiing community from an increasingly robotic competition scene. By employing this distraction the FIS hopes to provide the illusion that freeskiing is not slowly transforming into aerials. This illusion can only survive for so long though. Once the FIS has succesfully transformed every single park comp into aerials, they plan to terminate their Bunch sleeper agents. I know this information may be disturbing, but I fear that if we do not act now all will be lost. My life is now at risk, and I expect that the FIS may assassinate me any day now. But I do have a plan to provide. In order to combat the FISs plans we MUST begin wearing wizard hoods and bib pants, skiing ON3Ps, putting duct up our butts (just be weird I guess we gotta keep skiing weird), and jibbing trash cans. Its the only way to save freeskiing. NS, you our are only hope.