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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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How to make my turds smaller

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270on420out
Posts: 7495 - Karma: 50,836
Sup NS. So recently I've had a problem with clogging toilets. Ibe been squeezing out like foot long logs. These aren't twig shits either, they're like baseball bats. I clogged the toilet at my mom's place real badly last weekend. I took a big ole dump, turned around to admire it, and I figured it was good to go. Well this bohemoth didnt quite fit. The toilet is still clogged. I eat a lot of fiber, but I still have them big poops. What should I do?
Apr 30 2016 2:19AM
75 3
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,956
Drink constantly so that you always have explosive beer shits
Apr 30 2016 2:22AM
11 0
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crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,182
The only option is to take half the poop out of the toilet flush put the poop back in and flush that half.
Apr 30 2016 2:49AM
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jca
Posts: 4162 - Karma: 6,262
use that turd cutter for what its made for brah
Apr 30 2016 2:50AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36715 - Karma: 110,919
tbh I thoroughly enjoy a nice large tapered shit but you should try cutting it into bits with your bhole.
Apr 30 2016 4:35AM
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250r
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 1,020
you said it yourself, you eat too much fiber.
Apr 30 2016 4:53AM
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*DUMBCAN*
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 5,627
strap a ceiling fan to the toilet bowl just below your butthole. Turn it on, so as the shit comes out it gets sliced into tiny fine pieces and uses space far more efficiently. I haven't tried this personally, but I have a suspicion you might need to sharpen the fan blades.
Apr 30 2016 8:00AM
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clorox
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 4,861
Get a tight butthole.
Apr 30 2016 9:21AM
0 1
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
*DUMBCAN*strap a ceiling fan to the toilet bowl just below your butthole. Turn it on, so as the shit comes out it gets sliced into tiny fine pieces and uses space far more efficiently. I haven't tried this personally, but I have a suspicion you might need to sharpen the fan blades.


incorporate a splash shield so you don't fling shit back up into your butthole. if this happens it will just combine with the next poop and you will have even bigger dumps
Apr 30 2016 1:03PM
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Rparr
Posts: 5363 - Karma: 42,448
I have no suggestions just lol
Apr 30 2016 1:10PM
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Rparr
Posts: 5363 - Karma: 42,448
Also this
Apr 30 2016 1:16PM
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Rparr
Posts: 5363 - Karma: 42,448
RparrAlso this


Fuck you embed. Triple post no shame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCV475ADaQ
Apr 30 2016 1:17PM
1 0
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McNoche
Posts: 1731 - Karma: 3,661
You see bud, man was never intended to have penis go up inside their butthole.
Since you have done this many, many times, your butthole is now gaped out and poop just falls out. You have lost the ability to cut, size, your poop.
Apr 30 2016 3:28PM
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Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
I've been working out a lot recently so I'm trying to drop a little weight to look good during the summer. problem is I'm 6'2 so i won't get smaller height wise but Im trying to thin out a little
Apr 30 2016 3:39PM
3 0
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Lskier_
Posts: 183 - Karma: 1,955
my suggestion would be to adapt to the problem. clogged toilet? just dont flush and you wont even have to worry about clogging it again.
Apr 30 2016 5:55PM
3 0
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ascent_studios
Posts: 2157 - Karma: 4,578
Turd.FergusonI've been working out a lot recently so I'm trying to drop a little weight to look good during the summer. problem is I'm 6'2 so i won't get smaller height wise but Im trying to thin out a little


Ok....?
Apr 30 2016 7:57PM
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aiden516
Posts: 146 - Karma: 859
Don't eat for a week, that should solve your problem
Apr 30 2016 9:31PM
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Turd.Ferguson
Posts: 1437 - Karma: 2,713
ben_collinsOk....?


you little stinker, you missed my joke!
Apr 30 2016 11:07PM
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bananabrains
Posts: 133 - Karma: 390
ben_collinsOk....?


I think he's talking from the turds perspective.
May 1 2016 7:11AM
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Stinging_Roger
Posts: 298 - Karma: 1,504
Courtesy flush
May 1 2016 11:47AM
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brend
Posts: 779 - Karma: 3,608
laxitives
May 1 2016 12:21PM
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mike759
Posts: 872 - Karma: 1,949
eat lots of chocolate and mexican food so that you get some nasty D-rhea
May 1 2016 12:57PM
1 0
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