Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Worst Non-Ski Related Nut Shot

profile picture
koolkale
Posts: 109 - Karma: 1,411
Once I was at the mall buying new pants. As a joke I picked out a pair of skinny jeans two sizes to small for me. I could not even walk in them, I had to waddle out. I wanted to show my brother as a joke. I also observed that if I spread my legs, the fabric of the pants will stretch and become really hard around the penile area. I told my brother that as I was spreading my legs, and he thought the pant could stop a good hearty kick to the balls. He kicked me so fucking hard, I just crumpled to the ground. My balls were bust, they were also blue for bruises. He also made me fertile, and got rid of his future nephews. Sometimes when I put my feet a little more than shoulder width apart, while wearing tight pants, I can feel an echo of the kick, and it still terrorizes my testicles.
Feb 25 2016 8:28PM
73 10
profile picture
littleman34
Posts: 1330 - Karma: 3,985
One time a kid kicked me in the balls because I threw the ball on the roof of our school when we were playing a game where we threw the ball at the wall. It hurt bad.
Feb 25 2016 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Ski_ThEast
Posts: 1676 - Karma: 272
Lacrosse my freshman year of high school I took an underhand rip right to the nads. Most painful experience of my life, went to the hospital and got an ultra sound, the whole deal. I'm lucky I was wearing a cup cause I was told if I wasn't wearing one my testicles most likely would have exploded which would definitely not have been cool. Still fertile though which is nice.
Feb 25 2016 8:36PM
6 0
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,831
I was 10 years old. I forget what exactly I did, but I pissed off my brother. We were at the pool and as I was climbing down the ladder into the pool he caught mr off guard and kicked me in the nutsack. The pool has a strict no fighting rule, and I didn't want to get banned, so I just played it off like we were being typical syblings. Spent the rest of the day sitting on the side. The next 4 days, I had to waddle everywhere. My left testicle was the size of a tennis ball. I hid it from my parents too cause I was embarrassed. Then at the end of the week my mom called me out. She goes: "Why are you walking around with a limp". I didnt say any words, I just whipped out my sack. It was red and bruised and still the size of a tennis ball. She freaked out and put me in the car. Went to the hospital. They put a shit ton of ice and some weird ass gel on it. Made a full recovery 2 weeks later.
Feb 25 2016 9:14PM
13 0
profile picture
SammyDubz
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 7,217
Ski_ThEastLacrosse my freshman year of high school I took an underhand rip right to the nads. Most painful experience of my life, went to the hospital and got an ultra sound, the whole deal. I'm lucky I was wearing a cup cause I was told if I wasn't wearing one my testicles most likely would have exploded which would definitely not have been cool. Still fertile though which is nice.


Yup same. But I wasn't wearing a cup. Fortunately for me, it hit my thigh before my dick, so some of the energy was absorbed. Without a doubt the worst pain of my life. Had to get my balls drained multiple times. Still not completely back to normal, but pretty close (its been like 11 months). Wear a cup kids.
Feb 25 2016 10:15PM
2 0
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1905 - Karma: 12,901
One time I tried to jump a fence and landed on my nuts. They turned purple
Feb 25 2016 11:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Holte
Posts: 10730 - Karma: 7,744
INfertile man. Your brother did not make you fertile.

Also, fuck this topic. Nope nope nope.
Feb 25 2016 11:17PM
8 0
profile picture
NewEscuelers
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 10,958
Still waiting on mine to actually drop :(

The doctor said it should've happened about 10 years ago
Feb 25 2016 11:20PM
2 1
profile picture
TVRNTVPOOP
Posts: 619 - Karma: 3,583
THEDIRTYBUBBLEI was 10 years old. I forget what exactly I did, but I pissed off my brother. We were at the pool and as I was climbing down the ladder into the pool he caught mr off guard and kicked me in the nutsack. The pool has a strict no fighting rule, and I didn't want to get banned, so I just played it off like we were being typical syblings. Spent the rest of the day sitting on the side. The next 4 days, I had to waddle everywhere. My left testicle was the size of a tennis ball. I hid it from my parents too cause I was embarrassed. Then at the end of the week my mom called me out. She goes: "Why are you walking around with a limp". I didnt say any words, I just whipped out my sack. It was red and bruised and still the size of a tennis ball. She freaked out and put me in the car. Went to the hospital. They put a shit ton of ice and some weird ass gel on it. Made a full recovery 2 weeks later.

Why is every post of yours extremely entertaining to follow
Feb 25 2016 11:30PM
1 1
profile picture
Deforestation
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 3,192
SammyDubzballs drained.


Sounds pleasant

Feb 25 2016 11:58PM
7 1
profile picture
Stadtski
Posts: 972 - Karma: 3,349
Ski_ThEastLacrosse my freshman year of high school I took an underhand rip right to the nads. Most painful experience of my life, went to the hospital and got an ultra sound, the whole deal. I'm lucky I was wearing a cup cause I was told if I wasn't wearing one my testicles most likely would have exploded which would definitely not have been cool. Still fertile though which is nice.


That happened to one of the kids on my team last year, but no cup. his ball swelled up to the size of a fist. he may not be fertile, they werent sure.
Feb 26 2016 8:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Stadtski
Posts: 972 - Karma: 3,349
also when I was in 3rd grade I was walking on a railing as a balance beam (you can see where this is going) and I slipped and nailed my dick and balls. my dick was bleeding and balls were purple. that was pretty shitty.
Feb 26 2016 8:59PM
2 0
profile picture
saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
Feb 26 2016 9:28PM
7 0
profile picture
Rennis_Deynolds
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 19,061

this is probably my worst, the lighting is terrible
Feb 26 2016 9:56PM
5 4
profile picture
.CJ.
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 3,657
My friend threw a really hard snowball and it only hit my right nut, hurt like a mofo for like 30 minutes.
Feb 26 2016 10:56PM
0 0
profile picture
Rice
Posts: 311 - Karma: 2,228
THEDIRTYBUBBLEMy left testicle was the size of a tennis ball


Wait minute, isn't it suppose to be like that
Feb 27 2016 2:54AM
2 1
profile picture
Park.
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 4,582
So I usually wear my cup to lax practice, but the few days I dont, I always get railed in the balls by a d-pole/take a shot to the dick (luckily it was never my balls or I would definitely be infertile).

My worst was actually when my friend drove his lax shaft butt into my balls and twisted it. My balls felt like they were being pulled apart and I was down for a solid 25 minutes. It was definitely the worst pain that my nuts have ever felt.
Feb 28 2016 9:13AM
1 1
profile picture
Stinging_Roger
Posts: 298 - Karma: 1,504
A few years back when I was new to mountain biking, I was flying down a hill and my front tire got stuck in a hole. My body kept going forward at the same speed and I went nuts first into my handle bars. Had a huge bruise on my sack and my gooch
Feb 28 2016 6:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Morriski_
Posts: 179 - Karma: 895
One time when i was in highschool some kid slid a bag with all his training gear across a table (which happened to conveniently be at nut height for me). Well the bag landed a perfect hit on my balls and one of the shoes in the bag was at the perfect position facing my balls, so this kid basically ghost kicked me in the balls and it was one of the most painful nut shots ive ever endured, instant pain, unable to stand, the whole deal
Feb 28 2016 7:44PM
1 0
profile picture
_salty_
Posts: 672 - Karma: 1,034
parkplaygroundSo I usually wear my cup to lax practice, but the few days I dont, I always get railed in the balls by a d-pole/take a shot to the dick (luckily it was never my balls or I would definitely be infertile).

My worst was actually when my friend drove his lax shaft butt into my balls and twisted it. My balls felt like they were being pulled apart and I was down for a solid 25 minutes. It was definitely the worst pain that my nuts have ever felt.


I never wear a cup to practices or games and take a gamble,worked well till I got hit during warmup before a game and had to mis that game.
Feb 29 2016 1:40PM
0 0
profile picture
tschums
Posts: 207 - Karma: 1,064
like 5 or so years ago me and my brother were playing soccer in my friends basement with a tennis ball and it went behind this movable heater type thing. We were all rushing to get the ball and I moved the heater and it accidentally hit my brother in the hip, so he turned around and kicked me has hard has he could in the nuts
Feb 29 2016 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Zypher
Posts: 2336 - Karma: 2,268
Ski_ThEastLacrosse my freshman year of high school I took an underhand rip right to the nads. Most painful experience of my life, went to the hospital and got an ultra sound, the whole deal. I'm lucky I was wearing a cup cause I was told if I wasn't wearing one my testicles most likely would have exploded which would definitely not have been cool. Still fertile though which is nice.


Same man! As a defender I had to run into the goal when our fucking dumbass goalie whiffed a clear and an attack guy got to it. Took it straight to the base of my dick (wasn't wearing a cup) and still managed to block the shot and clear the ball to mid-field before I crumpled to the fucking ground. Turns out I was less than an inch away from busting my nut-sack open and had a bruise there for fucking ever. When I played the same team later in the season, I decked the guy so hard he landed out of bounds and never came back in (He was a dick so it was ok)
Feb 29 2016 4:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Squirrel_Murphy
Posts: 2195 - Karma: 1,165
Slackline slap while going commando with basketball shorts on.
Feb 29 2016 6:13PM
0 0
profile picture
CHORIZO
Posts: 2003 - Karma: 10,039
paintball gun 30 ft away str8 to lefty
Feb 29 2016 9:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Snazzy
Posts: 212 - Karma: 852
Racked myself jumping over a handrail in junior high. Had blue and black balls the size of grapefruits. Shit was gnarly
Feb 29 2016 11:27PM
1 0
profile picture
NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
I did a classic jump overshoot on the MTB to backseat landing blowout from the pedals which resulted in the rear tire grinding away on my balls. It was on my fatbike to so traction was more optimal than I preferred in that scenario...

Luckily I had padded shorts on that offer some protection so my junk was only red till that evening. Immediately after though I ran into the trees and had to check myself, it genuinely felt like it was bleeding but thank fuck it wasn't. I was about 7KM into the woods and really I have no idea what I would do if it was, it's not exactly something you fashion a tourniquet for.

Looking forward I will just do my best to avoid that again.
Mar 1 2016 12:49AM
0 0
profile picture
BAYKUR
Posts: 344 - Karma: 2,579
ever heard of a popcicle stick on a skateboard?
Mar 1 2016 12:51AM
0 0
profile picture
Lbird
Posts: 401 - Karma: 2,188
When I was like 8 I tried to walk along a pipe railing and my legs slipped and I took it str8 to the sack, then slowly tipped over forwards and ground the end of my nose off on the concrete
Mar 1 2016 1:00AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)