I understand it now. After an eventful trip on ayahuasca I have learned the prophecy of the fabled end of Newschoolers. It will begin 33 sun cycles after the original solid 7, a fortnight beyond the release of One of Those Days 15, followed by the day Hansel tells the coolest story. Jerries, Gapers, and Racers alike will stand in awe as it happens, at the same time wondering where Tom Wallnuts is with their guacamole. However, this will not ultimately spell the end. The final step will be the moment Doug Bishop leaves his state of eternal drunkenness and ascends to a higher plane of existence by opening the store page and starting the NS app. But, my friends, do not be saddened; Newschoolers will also be transported to an even greater place that it is now, without a need to fight the demons that are Jarden Corp and Marker. Join me, my fellow skiers, and be taken along on the path to greater skidom. Thank you and Papa Bless.
**If you want to help, please buy everything when the store opens and preach the good word to anyone who will listen.