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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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Be Mean to my Film!

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Dstan
Posts: 138 - Karma: 1,109
I've posted this film on NS in the fall as a completed project, but I've only ever gotten critiques on it from people who were close to me or were in the project, and I feel like they weren't as harsh as internet strangers would be.
It was rejected from the Am category of IF3, but there's a local adventure film festival coming up that I want to re-edit for and submit to. So please, tell me where you think this is weak, where it sucks, and what you think needs improvement. Thanks for any feedback.

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/738675/Southern-Alchemy
Apr 24 2015 12:18PM
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HarkStudios
Posts: 243 - Karma: 121
I am just gonna "review" it as i watch it.

the shot at 2:25 is awesome. really good transition..

up until 4:09 the shots are really great, after that, not so much.

I dont like the whole part from 4:09-6:09 it made me disinterested.

THE NIGHTLAPSES (6:20-6:30) ARE FANTASTIC THO! SO GOOD.

Wow. that was an aggressive switch into full blown ski edit. Add sound, you cant hear skis landing or scraping..



Okay, so wow. That was a super shitty film made up of really really good segments, i just dont think they match.

With the exception of the 4:09-6:09 area, i liked all the shots, it kept me interested.

You tried to go too big, the edit in the beginning did not feel like it flowed into the first guy talking, and then the guy talking did not flow into the next segment, then there was the night skiing shots which all the sudden was a day time ski edit, but then more talking (eh) and the urban (which was 50/50 for me, some shots were good, the whole graffiti tunnel thing was DOPE but other parts were boring AF cause nobody was going big and it just felt unnecessary)

I am struggling to see a theme (I dont think there is one). It seemed like you took what could have been 5-6 really dope mini edits/segments and put them togeather and paraded it arround as if it was all meant to go togeather. It kinda jumps arround and then it just ends, not resolution, just kind of ends.

I would seriously suggest chopping those segments and posting them seperately because some of them were good, and i would also suggest looking into the Heros Journey/Monomyth/3 Act Structure if you plan to keep releasing movies, because they kinda need a theme and they kinda need a good ending.
Apr 24 2015 1:32PM
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isaacwrong
Posts: 2213 - Karma: 16,945
I didn't like how you muted the original audio
Apr 24 2015 2:36PM
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r._ed
Posts: 234 - Karma: 855
i liked it, parts were dope but have to echo what has already been said
Apr 25 2015 8:07AM
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Dstan
Posts: 138 - Karma: 1,109
Thanks, guys. Thats all really helpful.

And as far as the sound of skis goes- I filmed this using Magic Lantern RAW video, which didn't have the ability to record sound when I filmed most of it. I could potentially fake it with audio clips from other videos and see if I can make it realistic
Apr 25 2015 2:04PM
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