Member of the Month

theabortionator
May, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Best way to pass a piss test? (without clean pee)

profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
What is the best way people have successfully passed a piss test for jobs and court without having clean pee? Real experiences only...
10 years ago
388 107
profile picture
boppin
Posts: 111 - Karma: 308
Never failed a piss test, the trick is actually really simple. Just stop smoking weed. Works every time.
10 years ago
54 4
profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
realistic answers only
10 years ago
2 47
profile picture
El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,358
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


i normally give whoever collects the pee a blowjob
10 years ago
22 2
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,194
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


It's not realistic for you to quit smoking weed for a piss test?

Lol, have fun failing it then
10 years ago
40 2
profile picture
cobra_commander
Posts: 16909 - Karma: 4,681
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Step up and claim your winnings like a man.
10 years ago
17 1
profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
The test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.
10 years ago
2 13
profile picture
deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,510
Your fucked, the only way to flush out your system is to be constantly drinking water. and if it's within 24 hours by the time you drink enough water to clean out your system there would be able to tell your pee is too much water and not enough actual pee.
10 years ago
12 1
profile picture
dustygoldflakes
Posts: 484 - Karma: 700
My friend had some luck with this one detox product. But frankly, those are expensive and require a few hours of notice.
10 years ago
9 0
profile picture
Mr.noodle
Posts: 1361 - Karma: 4,655
Just shoot heroin, it gets out of your much quicker
10 years ago
10 1
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
You need an oil change
10 years ago
53 1
profile picture
Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,832
Drink a fuck ton of water so you fill up too many piss cups for them to handle and you flood the place. Everybody dies. The end.
10 years ago
25 1
profile picture
-benedetto
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 1,359
This topic has been covered multiple times here and all over the internet. Better off searching else where. Good luck.
10 years ago
4 4
profile picture
Sky.
Posts: 1158 - Karma: 287
Buy fake pee? I've had great success 5+ times. Pretty much every head shop sells it
10 years ago
8 2
profile picture
Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11955 - Karma: 12,308
Get clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.
10 years ago
7 0
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13231 - Karma: 20,383
Here is the scientific way to pass the test:

Know your test. Most tests are strip tests. It does not require you be naked, but it is like a pH test strip for your pool. It works by 2 chemicals; the first is your control. Your organic proteins will bind to the strip and turn it red. The second is your detection. The metabolites will bind to this one and cause a reaction that will cancel out the color change, Hence, one bar; your screwed. If metabolites are not present; the second strip will change color. Its a way to prevent false positives. However they do have a threshold limit; 5ug/ml to 50ug/ml.

So obviously, the less metabolites you excrete, the better. THC is stored in the fat. It is released by the body naturally ditching the cell or by burning it off. As fat layers, it has a higher capacity of storing THC. So body mass and metabolism speed and amount consumed are your variables.

Time is everything; the more time is spent not smoking before the test, the higher the success possibility. You can help yourself by shedding a layer of fat, then create a new one that permeates the contaminated one. It takes time, so dont do this if you are in a hurry. Work out hard and burnt fat, then just eat fatty food and dont do shit. It will lower your concentration in the blood.

Next is dilution. This one is hard. Remember the control strip I was talking about? This one too plays a role in detecting someone is trying to fool the test by adding water to the bladder. By experience, it works, but keep in mind your variables. If you have excess water in the urine, you will not have sufficient proteins to bond to the strip.

Last is how you take the test. Urine salts are more concentrated at the beginning, then lowers. At the end of the piss, salts rise again. Take your test in the mid process, it would be the better chance.

Good luck
10 years ago
11 2
profile picture
S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,172
I'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much
10 years ago
1 4
profile picture
broto
Posts: 9040 - Karma: 25,673
at this point your best bet is to pull a blake from workaholics and take as many drugs as possible before your test so when everything shows up they'll assume the tester fucked up

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/761373/workaholics-drug-test-results
10 years ago
19 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
pure cranberry juice(not the cocktail, or cranberry juice that has a ton of sugar in it.) drink a ton of it. can pass within 3 days of not smoking. Be prepared to spend most of those three days in the bathroom. Another option is one of those urine masking kits, but they're usually about $20 or so.
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
DanielPlainview
Posts: 391 - Karma: 1,707
my friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.
10 years ago
11 0
profile picture
PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Just do an oil change
10 years ago
1 3
profile picture
fresh_prince
Posts: 993 - Karma: 11,916
ColeLaCrackThe test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.


this is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed
10 years ago
9 1
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
Drink bleach
10 years ago
4 1
profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
fresh_princethis is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed


That's what the lady collecting my piss thought today too
10 years ago
12 0
profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
If anyone wants to know know to pass for future reference all you have to do is find someone with clean piss and have them pee in a travel shampoo bottle. Next Step get some big elastics and secure it to le gooch, then put on compression shorts to keep it at a temp between 90-100.

It's piss not rocket science..definitely way easier than a lot you thought
10 years ago
1 1
profile picture
hulkhoganite
Posts: 23 - Karma: 218
Granite_StateGet clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.


.
10 years ago
2 2
profile picture
plyswthsqrrls
Posts: 838 - Karma: 2,272
St.josephmy friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.


your friend is a fucking genius
10 years ago
4 0
profile picture
Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,340
your only options:

1. clean pee from a friend in a ballon/condom/bag. you likely aren't getting a test that will temp it (provided it's for a low level job or something; didn't read the thread) so you should be alright if it's semi close to body temp.

2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.
10 years ago
4 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
Big_Spence2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.


Remember to catch mid stream if you can. I've had to do some tests where they actually put plastic wrap on the bowl so you can't pee into it. Another thing you can do(original reason for quoting this) is Dilute it with warm water.
10 years ago
1 1
profile picture
mtbakerpow
Posts: 1105 - Karma: 927
get a green card...
10 years ago
0 3
profile picture
Chubbs.
Posts: 1018 - Karma: 2,647
talk to these guys
10 years ago
2 0
profile picture
Squirrel_Murphy
Posts: 2195 - Karma: 1,165
Need to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.
10 years ago
6 0
profile picture
HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,683
Squirrel_MurphyNeed to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.


lol
Op is screwed. Have fun in jail, stoner
10 years ago
5 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52609 - Karma: 174,419
Drink yoir own piss. The second round of filtration cleanses out any traces of thc.
10 years ago
9 0
profile picture
steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
.Hugo.You need an oil change


i came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
steezy_dogei came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.


Whats that? Ive never heard of it
10 years ago
0 1
profile picture
steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
.Hugo.Whats that? Ive never heard of it


if your not trolling...


its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.
10 years ago
0 1
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
steezy_dogeif your not trolling...


its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.


nope never heard of it. i just thought it made sense
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52609 - Karma: 174,419
Blue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers
10 years ago
1 1
profile picture
steezy_doge
Posts: 781 - Karma: 1,718
theabortionatorBlue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers


It's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.
10 years ago
1 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52609 - Karma: 174,419
steezy_dogeIt's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.


I could get down with that
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
finnajon5
Posts: 583 - Karma: 51
oil change via.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcvs4n_blue-mountain-state-oil-change-by-t_fun
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
-emile-
Posts: 6613 - Karma: 8,595
UglyboyI'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much


dude you take hard drugs ??? you're soooo cool !
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
white.powder
Posts: 187 - Karma: 777
drink a shit load of water
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12845 - Karma: 33,290
poop in the cup. it's drug free and they won't be able to tell the difference
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
elcornholio
Posts: 797 - Karma: 1,556
So... Did you pass?
10 years ago
2 0
profile picture
*DELETED*
Posts: 1043 - Karma: 938
Pee packet at a head shop.

Has anyone personally or know anyone that has had luck with detox drinks they sell for around $20?
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
brett_fisher
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 10,518
ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only


Get some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
shin-bang
Posts: 4106 - Karma: 7,037
brett_fisherGet some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...


yea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"
10 years ago
0 0
profile picture
brett_fisher
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 10,518
shin-bangyea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"


or that :|
10 years ago
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4); Currently it's 10:04AM