Poop Stories

I knuckled a jump and shit all over my back. The end.

DobberI knuckled a jump and shit all over my back. The end.

lol nerd

SFBlol nerd

heard some pimp cranking down in the stall over last week

T'was a beautiful sunny day in Banff, Alberta Canada. Coming up on the end of the day and i needed to take a well deserved shit after a good lunch in the lodge, i got to the bottom of the hill and decided i could hold it in and take another lap, got to the chairlift got on and about half way up realised i was in deep shit (pun intended) i got to the top of the lift and without a moment to spare started bombing it down the run, the fastest way down was a steep mogul line and i went for it, as soon as i dropped i realised i had made a huge mistake, it was gonna be a bumpy ride, and it wasn't helping my urge to drop a deuce, i got 3/4 of the way down the run when all of a sudden i mistimed my turn and went over one mogul and bounced off the next, i was sent about 8ft into the air and came down right on my ass, it was all over, i had infact shit myself. I would now make the awkward shuffle of shame back into the ski lodge where the toilets resided, up about 20 god for sake steps.

I will never forget that day.
A day of shame.
A day of regret.

I was only 9...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Greatest thing I've ever laid my eyeballs upon

One time I was sitting on the toilet super constipated. I was taking one of those shits that feels like it's coming out sideways. I pushed so hard I started seeing stars. Then, all of a sudden, there was this weird little red spot on my bare thigh. I had pushed a shit out so hard it gave me a nosebleed. I gotta say, I was proud of myself.

skiing backcountry, forgot TP, wiped ass with pine tree, It's actually not too bad except for the sap

my friend was getting pelted by rocks while pooing and ending up with rocks and poop all over him

Wasnt there a poop thread last month?

Titus69Wasnt there a poop thread last month?

We can never have enough poop threads. All of my threads are shit.

DobberWe can never have enough poop threads. All of my threads are shit.

Nice, good point.

House boating in Arizona last summer. Holding tank had some issues about 150 miles up the lake. 105 degree weather. 18 people. Two bathrooms. Bad fish. Hell.

KreechOne time I was sitting on the toilet super constipated. I was taking one of those shits that feels like it's coming out sideways. I pushed so hard I started seeing stars. Then, all of a sudden, there was this weird little red spot on my bare thigh. I had pushed a shit out so hard it gave me a nosebleed. I gotta say, I was proud of myself.

this has happened to me as well.

NickyToorthis has happened to me as well.

Busted blood vessels in my eye a couple times.

I was in New York on vacation, and I was quite bunged up. Like, I had not shit in 5 or 6 days. Anyways, I'm so full of shit (literally) that it hurts to stand up, and I decide I need to evacuate this mud monster ASAP. Me and a couple buddies were just stopping in to a Subway (the restaurant) to grab some food, and I ask to use their bathroom. So I get in there, and I'm fucking straining, really putting my back into it. After about ten minutes, this massive fudge goliath has finally relinquished it's grasp on my bowels and is chillin in the bowl, when I go to flush. Water fills up the toilet, and goes........nowhere. So here I am, having absolutely desecrated this dude's throne, when someone starts knocking on the door. Freaking out, I pile toilet paper in the bowl to try and cover the mess I've made. I walk out of the bathroom and tell the people waiting outside that the toilets broken. I grab my sandwich and go sit out back with my friends. Suddenly the owner comes running out asking if I was the dude that left a huge shit in his establishment. Needless to say I peace'd out quick, I had had enough dealings with that chocolate hotdog.

Back in the day at a soccer tournament I shit in the urinal part of the port-a-potty. One of the dads of my teammate went if right after which was pretty weird

It's a damn shame the body building forum story is down. It's gotta still be around the webz. I've uploaded it a few times on here but the pics were the best part.

i took a shit off a lift once

ColinBa2i took a shit off a lift once

one time i was skiing under the lift and a poo hit me right between my goggles and helmet

So this is an on going poop story, recently for about the past two months every single time I poop it has been a no wiper. I do not mean I am not wiping but I mean that I wipe and theres nothing, then I wipe again just to be sure, and a third courtesy wipe just to be sure. So for about two months now I have not had to wipe shit out of my ass.

Another poop story for you is that I one time had a dingleberry so bad that it had to be cut out with scissors. The dingleberry was about the size of grape….

Heres another shitty story lul, I went to summer camp and didn't poop for 7 days, then I couldn't poop when I came home so for a total of 9 days I didn't poo. So I had to go to the doctor and get special laxatives that would soften my stools, it was called milk of magnesia. Sure enough I birthed a poop baby.

Last but not least I pooped in the bathroom of my home, my shit was about the size of a brick and a half. It ended up clogging the toilet so badly that it actually broke the toilet and it flooded the whole downstairs of my house with poop water…had to get all new hardwood floors...

one time i was hiking with my dad up at guardsman pass. we were checking out the top of jupiter lift when i realized i had to poop. real bad. we were at least 15 minutes from the car and another 15 minute drive to the nearest restroom. it wasn't enough time. i pooped in the woods and wiped with some grass. dad was proud. 10/10 experience. this is the only time i have literally shit on vail.

Foxxy-BangSo this is an on going poop story, recently for about the past two months every single time I poop it has been a no wiper. I do not mean I am not wiping but I mean that I wipe and theres nothing, then I wipe again just to be sure, and a third courtesy wipe just to be sure. So for about two months now I have not had to wipe shit out of my ass.

Pics or it didnt happen.

One time when I was younger, I was at the river, and I really had to poop. The issue was the swimming spot we were at was 5 miles down a hill (so a miserable uphill walk to do if filled with shit), so I dropped trow behind a huge rock on the shore, and let the 21 poop salute begin. But the issue is, what to wipe with? How about some soft river stones, warmed by the sun. An item to add to the "would wipe with again" list.

I shit in a school sink when I was in 2nd grade

Just remembered another, my brother can't ever seem to poop while on vacation. So once we all went to Mexico for 2 weeks, where he consumed numerous amounts of Mexican food (mostly been burritos) and then hadn't shit in 12 days. As the 13th day hit, so did his shit, the poop was so large it couldn't fit down the toilet, was looked like the 3 bricks piled on top of one another. And he was too embarrassed to call the front desk to get someone to help. So he took 2 complementary shoehorns from the cleaning lady, and chopped it up like some sushi from the horrors within. Placed the chopped remnants in a bag like a dead body, and threw it in a dumpster.....Mexican dumpster babies all over again.

Spent 3 months in the hospital last summer. Got a lovely infection called c-diff. Watery shit constantly leaking out my ass. They stuck a tube up my ass that I shit out for 2 weeks. So at one point I had a ventilator tube down my throat, feeding tube down my nose, catheters up my dick and ass, several IV's and another port for dialysis. Fun times.

mammothpunksSpent 3 months in the hospital last summer. Got a lovely infection called c-diff. Watery shit constantly leaking out my ass. They stuck a tube up my ass that I shit out for 2 weeks. So at one point I had a ventilator tube down my throat, feeding tube down my nose, catheters up my dick and ass, several IV's and another port for dialysis. Fun times.

I do this by choice

one time in hawaii, my family and i went to this secluded beach with no outhouses. my 8 year old cousin told me she had to go so we began our trek into the forest behind the beach. when she found a spot i stood near by with some kleenex my auntie gave me. after a while she started crying and i went over to see a crapload of flies around her butt lol i had to help her move about 3 times to make the flies go away hahahah

Leaving my hotel in Vancouver at 4am there was some guy only wearing a sport coat who had shit in the elevator... I took the stairs

did a tiny little 2fter off the side of a run on the way down and landed and a little wet slime slithered out and i just stopped knowing a 5 minute walk to the lodge, but no the lift had one so it was fine.

Aquaturds. They follow you

Idk why but these poop threads always give me a really good laugh.

Thank you NS!

I once walked into a stall do dicover a turd as wide as a small cat. Whoever shit it must have internal bleeding.

I just read every story on that site... I am too bored

theabortionatorIt's a damn shame the body building forum story is down. It's gotta still be around the webz. I've uploaded it a few times on here but the pics were the best part.

Hoping this is it
"Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze).

But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps).

So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee.

Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed".

Now at that point I felt like I had to take a shit, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further.

So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and fuck... I had to take take a shit really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date).

I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened).

So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imaginable.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the fuck do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I'm like "fuck this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"...

so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor...

I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet.

Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.

I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly).

Wtf was I supposed to do?

I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....

At that point things get even worse...

The turd wouldn't fucking dissolve... and the damn bitch was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapors all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so fucking bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: FUCK this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door.

She stops dead in her tracks.

There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass, large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can.

I was so fuckining embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers...

"wtf did you do???"

she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grab some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually).

I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor...

I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet.

I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now...

I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she grabs a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water).

At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrassment.

All of this could have fuckinging been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and shit in her bathtub???? This is fucking retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well fuck that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.

anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?"

ZachAndCheeseHoping this is it
"Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze).

But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps).

So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee.

Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed".

Now at that point I felt like I had to take a shit, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further.

So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and fuck... I had to take take a shit really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date).

I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened).

So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imaginable.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the fuck do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I'm like "fuck this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"...

so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor...

I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet.

Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.

I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly).

Wtf was I supposed to do?

I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....

At that point things get even worse...

The turd wouldn't fucking dissolve... and the damn bitch was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapors all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so fucking bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: FUCK this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door.

She stops dead in her tracks.

There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass, large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can.

I was so fuckining embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers...

"wtf did you do???"

she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grab some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually).

I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor...

I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet.

I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now...

I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she grabs a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water).

At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrassment.

All of this could have fuckinging been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and shit in her bathtub???? This is fucking retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well fuck that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.

anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?"

Oh dear. This is... intense.

The referenced post has been removed.

Thanks for this

pooped off a bridge in nova scotia onto some unsuspecting canoeists below. 3 or 4 humongous logs

Blindsurferpooped off a bridge in nova scotia onto some unsuspecting canoeists below. 3 or 4 humongous logs

Went cliff diving at a popular spot on Skaha lake Penticton on a busy drunken long weekend, there were lots of people coming and going. When everybody left my friend and I decided to take swimming shits in the water below the cliffs as we had planned on leaving. We finish our shits and climb up the cliffs. Just as we're putting our clothes back on a group of people show up. I look over the edge and our shits kinda look like seaweed from up above (green mossy drinking all week shits). The group then proceeds to jump off the cliffs right into our feces, we left very quickly.

Blindsurferpooped off a bridge in nova scotia onto some unsuspecting canoeists below. 3 or 4 humongous logs

Went cliff diving at a popular spot on Skaha lake Penticton on a busy drunken long weekend, there were lots of people coming and going. When everybody left my friend and I decided to take swimming shits in the water below the cliffs as we had planned on leaving. We finish our shits and climb up the cliffs. Just as we're putting our clothes back on a group of people show up. I look over the edge and our shits kinda look like seaweed from up above (green mossy drinking all week shits). The group then proceeds to jump off the cliffs right into our feces, we left very quickly.

ZachAndCheeseHoping this is it
"Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze).

But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps).

So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee.

Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed".

Now at that point I felt like I had to take a shit, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further.

So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and fuck... I had to take take a shit really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date).

I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened).

So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imaginable.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the fuck do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I'm like "fuck this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"...

so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor...

I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet.

Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.

I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly).

Wtf was I supposed to do?

I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....

At that point things get even worse...

The turd wouldn't fucking dissolve... and the damn bitch was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapors all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so fucking bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: FUCK this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door.

She stops dead in her tracks.

There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass, large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can.

I was so fuckining embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers...

"wtf did you do???"

she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grab some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually).

I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor...

I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet.

I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now...

I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she grabs a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water).

At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrassment.

All of this could have fuckinging been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and shit in her bathtub???? This is fucking retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well fuck that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.

anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?"

Thought I had a good story till I read this one... Holy shit

My brother went to Vegas this last weekend, his best friend on the first night decided to get insanely blacked out. This wasn't like a pee your pants blacked out but rather much worse. After they left the club at about 4am and decided to go back to the hotel because everyone could barely stand, my bros best friend was walking up the hotel stair way when out of no where he pulls his pants down and proceeds to take a hot steaming shit on the stairs. After he relieves himself he runs away and leaves his feces on the stair way. I wasn't aware someone could be so drunk they pooped right there in public

A friend of my tool a shit out of the bus window. It hit a car. Cops where called. We sat on the bus for a hour while cop got there talked to the person whose car got shit on. The cop laughed at my friend told him not to shit out the window anymore and that was the end of that.

one time I took a shit in OP's pillow case, the end

one of the hundreds of hilarious Amazon reviews of the 5 lb bag of sugar-free gummy bears.

The story begins with my mother's diabetes. The day before I was set to fly back to school after Christmas break, my mother made a trip to the grocery store, picking herself up an assortment of sugar-free snacks. Worried I would get hungry on my flight, she gave me the bag of sugar-free gummy bears to stick in my carry-on.
So I boarded my 6 AM flight from Manchester, NH to Nashville, TN, with a layover in Chicago, on an empty stomach. About twenty minutes in, the flight attendants handed out drinks, no snacks. I decided I would break out the gummy bears.
I ate those gummy bears like nobody's business. They were gone in minutes.
For about thirty minutes after that, the flight (which was half empty. Really just me, a handful of businessmen, and a college hockey team) was just me and Harry Potter.
And then it began. The gummy bears demanded acknowledgment.
It started with this weird gassy, popping sensation in my lower stomach. I was like, okay, you're just digesting, you got this. Then it became cold sweats. Then I could barely breath, the mere sensation disrupted my bowels.
I was afraid to move. If I did, who would know what would happen? Eventually, it had to be done.
I darted to the back restroom and locked myself in. I really had no idea what end of my body the gummy bears would reappear from, so I sat on the toilet but leaned over the sink, heaving.
Then this horrible waterfall of gummy bear lava spewed into the toilet. It BURNED. I could no longer stay leaned over the sink, so I searched desperately for something to vomit in.
I found the bags women are supposed to put tampons in. It was silver and narrow and the inside smelt like the most awful artificial flowers.
I vomited repeatedly into that.
All I wanted was my mom. I cried out for her, losing myself in the horror that was my life. She wouldn't come. I was 18 and alone.
That was when I became a woman.
At this point, I'd spent maybe half an hour in there. Time had lost all meaning. The captain announced we were making our final descent, and I clung to my puke filled tampon bag and the wall of the bathroom for dear life.
All I could think was: this is where it ends. This is where I die. Here, on this Southwest flight.
I knew I needed to leave the bathroom, so I steeled myself. I carried my puke bag out. I had to tell a flight attendant I'd thrown up, where should I put the bag?
She had one of those looks like, same s***, different day.
I had to make the walk of shame back to my seat. The plane was so under-populated, everyone would know how long I'd been in there.
As a teenage girl, I couldn't make eye contact with the hockey team.
I only recently found out I didn't have some type of turbulence sickness.
These gummy bears are the manifestation of evil. They are Voldemort's infinite horcruxes.

it's not really pooping but I think shitting acid is close enough. So one day I was home alone minding my own business. Just sitting around lazily watching tv. Then I felt the hunger of Africa erupt in my stomach. I searched through all my cabinets and the fridge but all I could find was pickles. Like enough pickles that you could like supply the whole city with pickles. So I though "well I like pickles and im hungry let's eat them all". So I started eating pickles. So many pickles I lost count. After about 15 minutes of eating pickles I ran out of my supply. I was needing pickles. I started drinking all the pickle juice. 5 minutes later I finished that bitch and lied down for a few minutes thinking about what I have just done. I was full and satisfied. After about half an hour or so I go shit. It all starts of regular execpt for a tad bit of pain in the shits. I still feel like I have more so I push as hard as I can. I can start to feel it coming. Then out of nowhere I feel in my ass the heat of a thousand young suns. I'm in so much pain I fall out of my toilet seat and hit my head on my bathtub then inspiration struck. I jumped in there turned on the cold water and felt the barely relieving water. I sat in the shower water for a hour. To finish this story I later found out they all expired a year ago.

tl;dr don't eat tons of pickles and drink pickle juice

This thread is amazing