Alright, so this is a thread to post all of your fireworks malfunction/accident stories, new and old.
So my family decides to go to a neighborhood fireworks display at a school next to our neighborhood. Now, I live in Atlanta, Georgia, and although not all the people are full fledged rednecks, keep in mind that the southern roots of these people live on. So my family also brings my dog, who loves fireworks/laser pointers/lights of any kind, and he tries to chase them. So my dog is going absolutely crazy about these fireworks shooting up in the air, when it happens. One of the fireworks(one of the ones that shoots up balls that explode in the air) falls over and flaming balls start shooting at everyone watching(about 30 people). The fly towards my family, and my sister is barely misses after she dove out of the way. Another hits my mom on the leg. So I start running the opposite way that everyone else is running, and I see this flaming white ball start flying at my head. I can't do anything but dive, and after I dive, the ball hits a fence and explodes behind me. I get up to see another flaming ball hit a trailer(this is at a school, not a trailer park, although many of the people here had the IQ's of people who live in trailer parks), and it dents it and makes some burnt marks on it.
So my dog is going absolutely crazy after all this, so my dad takes him to our car. My dog honks the horn of our car anytime he's in it when he's excited. So, of course, he starts honking the horn. So one of my neighbors that I have never met before starts yelling towards my car for them to stop honking, and he says to me(now think thick southern accent here), 'God, what an idiot, we all know it's New Years.' Someone asks him who's honking the horn and he says it some stupid Indian dude. So that's it for me after more fireworks fell over and started hitting people again, but damn, this is the first appreciation I've had for rednecks/southerners; they love fireworks and saying'Hey Frank, watch this,' while holding fireworks so they shoot at another person. So post any funny fireworks stories.
I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.