Don: playing kickball Hey, Napoleon. Did you wet the bed last night?
Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, Don, did you take a dump in your bed last night?
Don: I could kick your butt, Napoleon, so I'd shut up.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go tell your mom to shut up?
Don: What did you say?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna say.
Don: Did you say something about my mom?
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.
Don: Do you wanna die, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah right. Who's the only one here who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government?
Don: Step up, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: slaps him and runs
Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Uncle Rico: So what do you think?
Kip: It's pretty cool, I guess.
Uncle Rico: Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.
Napoleon Dynamite: This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Kip: Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
Uncle Rico: You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
Napoleon Dynamite: You guys are retarded!
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon Dynamite: Cut to Pedro jumping You got like three feet of air that time.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Kip: I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days.
Uncle Rico: Yeah, well what does she look like?
Kip: She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda TO'd because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off Napoleon, just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh.
Napoleon Dynamite: while hitch-hiking Are you guys like Pedro's cousins with the sweet hook-up?
that is quite jibtastic, sir.
'skiboards look horrible on rails, they do however looking amazing over 15 foot tables.'
-mommy on snowlerbladlerering