Alright guys I need your help with gaining some perspective on how I should go about something. Im having trouble trying to decide what I want to do with my life, and by life I mean figuring out what I want my career to be as an adult. Im at that point in my life where I want to take that final step out of the adolescences phase of my life and into the adulthood one. Now Im sure that there are multiple steps in this phase that take some time to get through just like the phases we went through as kids. So Im not expecting or even wanting to instantly turn into your typical honest, responsible, hard working family man. Thats my basic definition of what I'd consider a man whose figured out how to be an adult is. Yeah I know I kind of sounded a like a little corny bitch there but thats just how I typed it I guess.
Right now I feel like Im in the process of getting into that phase. Im not going to lie, I still like to go out to the bars and get a little sloppy on occasion. I still have a little bit of the spirit you get in you your freshman of college in me, but its definitely not as prevalent as it used to be. Most the time when I go out now I enjoy just sipping on a beer or two while shooting the shit with some buddies. I don't go out just to get plastered like I used to. Instead I've lightened it up when it comes to my sobriety because I enjoy not feeling like shit from a hangover every other day. Theres that and the fact that I don't want to deal with the troubles and consequences that drinking can cause. I'm confident that I've learned from my drunken experiences of getting in trouble with either the law, my friends, or my family. I grew out of being a drunk asshole a while ago and its been a little over two years now since my last major fuck up. So Im really not worried at all about falling back into that trap again because I have no desire to.
As I sit here getting older, I'll be 23 in a month, I can't help but continually think about the future though. I feel like the time I spend wondering about what I should do in life is becoming a more frequent thought each day. Im the opposite of those people that have known what they wanted to do in life from the get go. What I think my problem effecting me the most is that Im interested in too different things. Regardless of what those interests may be, I find it impossible to wrap my head around a certain interest of mine because I don't value one over another. I equally enjoy engaging in all of the things that interest me (FYI its hundreds, if not thousands of different things Im interested in like talking sports, building shit with tools, talking politics, reading about space, going skiing, etc... those are just a few off the top of my head).
Now I may have you a little confused right now, which If I were you than I'd be to, but I promise that it'll all add up here in a second. What I need is your advice on how I should go about determining what to do for a career. The perspective that Im using right now isn't working for me and it ultimately confuses the shit out of me. Thats why Im asking you guys for help. I thought that some of you have maybe gone through something similar so I was curios as to how you figured it out. I want to ultimately want to have a career that interests me because I dread the possibility of putting myself into a job that I wont like. I want to love what I do and I want it to be important to me. Im sure many of you have had similar thoughts, if so than how did you learn to come to grips with them? I have to get rid of this phobia because its really fucked up my life over the past couple of years.
Long story short is that I've gone to three different schools now, two being universities and one being a trade school and I failed to complete any of them. There are plenty of reasons why I failed, but the main one and the one relevant to this thread, is because I realized that I wasn't meant to do what I was learning as a career. I didn't enjoy it all so I dropped everything and left. Its really embarrassing for me to admit all of this to you guys and is something I really only keep to myself. Thats why I had to build up some courage for me to even write this thread because a part of me didn't want to. The other part of me knows that I can't keep fucking around anymore though. If going to make another attempt at going to school or at learning a trade then I have to do the right way this time. I originally planned on not going back to school and to just keep working where I have been for the past six months. Its a good gig and Im happy with what Im doing. It doesn't pay much though which isn't that big of deal cause Im getting by fine with what I make. But I've realized that it will never bring me the success that I hope to have one day. Now I don't want to be filthy rich or anything like that, I just want to be able to take care of the girl I've been dating for four years someday. That way I can give her what she wants while also being able to do some cool shit for myself.
I want to achieve this success through doing something I love but Im beginning to realize that its not that easy. I've been stuck looking at this wall I know that I need to get over for way too long now. Im in way too much debt from student loans and have nothing to show for it and Im not going to allow that to happen again. Its honestly one of the worst feelings I've had it put me in a dark depression for some time. Im thankfully in a better place now and am finally happy. I've learned not to dread on the past because thats a bad kind of mentality to have when your depressed. This wall is still there though and if I truly want to become an adult and be proud of who I am again than I have to get over it. So NS, how should I get over it?