So I'll start the story by saying I had just eaten a Turkey Bacon Ranch sub stuffed full and toasted from Subway, followed by some left over steak when I got home. About an hour later, I was feeling the need to profusely jettison my bowels, and did just that. 10 minutes later, with a clean colon, I decided to look down, and saw five huge (and I mean huge) light brown turds sitting in the bottom of the bowl. I thought, "well shit I'm gonna snapchat this to my friend, because that was potentially the biggest shit of my life as I don't want it to be a wasted opportunity." So I write the caption "just one of those shits," and being that my friends name begins with an "m," I scroll down to the M section in my snapchat contacts, click it, and push send.
Fast forward 15 minutes, wondering if he opened it, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SENT IT TO THE GIRL IVE HAD A CRUSH ON FOR 2 MONTHS. AHHHHHH. And to make matters worse she opened it! Fuck! So I send another snap, saying something along the lines of "I'm soooooo sorry! Wrong person!" And she opened it and didn't respond, which is expected as she just found out what the fuck my digested food looks like, and probably isn't in the mood for a conversation right now.
Now, this super hot, athletic, awesome girl that I thought I may have had a chance with, and sit beside in TWO FUCKING CLASSES is going to have the image of my bigass dump seared into her eyes everytime she looks at me from now on until the end of the next millennia.
So basically NS, I done fucked up, and I have no god damn idea what to do, does any body have advice?
A quick word on blocking ads
It looks like you are using an ad blocker. That's okay. Who doesn't? But without advertising revenue, we can't keep making this site awesome. Click the link below for instructions on disabling adblock.
