My first time getting drunk was when i was 14, i had about 8 cans of cider, ended up getting off with some girl a year older than me who ii had not met before. But that's all that happened that night so it's pretty boring, so i'll tell you what happened the one time i got really drunk.
Basically there was an end of exams party when i was 16 and everyone who was going was told to bring a drink. I assumed everyone was going to be sharing drinks so i bought a 2 litre bottle of cheap cider and a bottle of vodka. So i go to my mates house first and while waiting for his mate, he tells me he's never done a shot. So i bust out my bottle of vodka and pour him and i half a cup of vodka each. We drink that and then his mate arrives so i put my vodka back in my bag and we start walking to the party.
So we arrive at the party and it turns out i was wrong, no one was sharing drinks. So i go in and there is a compulsory beer bong that we all need to do. So after that we go in, and i manage to sell my bottle of vodka to some guy i barely know. Eventually i finish my 2 litres of cider and i'm starting to feel a little drunk and my balance has almost gone. So i'm walking through the party and i see the beer bong guys again pouring beer into someones mouth. They give me enough beer to refill my bottle of cider (i was walking around with the empty bottle in my hand, i don't know why) so after it's refilled i start drinking again. Then i decided to go to the toilet because i needed a piss, so i go in, put my bottle down by the door, go over to the toilet and take a piss. As i lent forward to flush it, i lost my balance and knocked over some small glass ornament off a shelf and it smashed on the floor. So i pick up my bottle and leave the toilet and take a large gulp of my drink. Almost straight away, i walked into the living room, fell on top of some girl on the sofa that my friend was chatting up,told her "you're beautiful" and got up and walked away. So i then decided to finish off my drink and did.
This girl suddenly runs through the house shouting "I JUST KISSED (my mates name)." Basically my mate is not the most attractive of guys, ginger and kind of fat and had never kissed a girl. So there was a bet going around that whoever kissed him would get from £10 to £50 depending on who's version of the bet you believed.
So obviously after hearing this i start to walk through to the back garden to congratulate him. I get to the conservatory and suddenly on the table i see the beer bong guys and a half full bottle of tequila on the table behind them. So being as subtle as i can, i go over and take it, and walk back into the house.
After drinking this i have no recollection of what happened. However this is what i was told happened:
I punched a hole in a drywall, The hosts mum came home but she was cool with the party and apparently i grabbed a handful of her arse, i got kicked out, i started a fight with some guy outside because he wouldn't let me go back inside, i went back inside, my friend and his friend ordered a taxi and we all got in it. I puked in the taxi got a £60 fine, only had £15, so my friends mate ran back to his so he could grab the other £45, we paid the taxi guy, got into my mates apartment building (which for some reason doesn't have a lift), my trousers fell down before we got to the stairs, i passed out at the bottom of the staircase, my mate and his mate had to carry me up to the third floor where his apartment is and they dumped me in the bathroom, i puked numerous times and missed the toilet multiple times, i woke up (this bit i still remember) thinking i was still at the party, turned on the light, fell over again, my mate came in, i asked if we could go back to his, he told me we already were, i checked my pockets for my phone and wallet, thought i'd lost them, my mate told me he had them, i went back to sleep. Later that morning, he ushered me out of the house (about 09.00). So i (having not been to his house before) decided to try and find a shortcut to the train station. I go the complete wrong way and end up at the harbor (the station is on the other side of the harbor and there's no cut through) so i walk back around but feeling sick and with a killer hangover, i decide to sit down for a minute and i throw up again (it was just yellowish liquid now). Eventually i get back up again and start trying to make my way back to the harbor. On the way i walk past a cathedral with a bus stop outside it. I lie down on the bus stop bench and slept for half an hour solid. Some guy wakes me up and asks if i'm ok, and i stupidly reply yes. So i decide to start walking again and pass my school and see and load of the years below me having their break time. I continue walking and eventually make it to the station half an our later (it's normally a 10 minute walk). So i then end up getting on the wrong train, but luckily i realized before the train went split from my route home and got off it at the next station. I eventually get on the train home and arrive at my local station, where i throw up in a bin. So i decide to sit down for a minute and rest. The next train comes through and funnily enough one of the beer bong guys gets off and sees me. Thinking it's hilarious seeing me hunched over on a bench outside the station with little drops of dried vomit on my shirt, he takes a picture and sends it to everyone who was at the party. Eventually i get on the bus to mine and fall asleep almost immediately. Strangely the guy was also on the same bus but i didn't notice him. Anyway i woke up as the bus was passing my stop so i had to get off on the next one. I walked home and arrived just as a delivery man pulled up. So he asks if i am Cameron Taylor, i confirm i am, and sign for the parcel. So i get in the door, close it and decide to lye on the floor. So eventually i go upstairs and my parents aren't home so i leave the parcel on the floor and go to sleep. My parents later woke me up for dinner but i couldn't eat because i still had a hangover and felt sick so i went back to bed.
TLDR: drunk a lot arse, grabbed the hosts mums arse, got kicked out, threw up in a taxi, got a £60 fine, passed out, got on the wrong train home, eventually got home, still had a hangover 24 hours after party started, went to bed.
DROP CLIFFS NOT BOMBS
IT'S NOT A PISTE,IT'S A PLAYGROUND
You put on your boots,click into your bindings,dust the snow off you skis and head out for the chair,and it doesn't matter that you failed a test,didn't get the girl or that your life is on a one way trip down the shitter,your world is right for the next couple of hours.
“We’re going to drink until we can’t wash the PBR out of our mustaches,” - Sam Caylor