Member of the Month

JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Advice on embarrassing incident

profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
already tried peeing in her butt….

so a really hot girl i barely know just added me on facebook while i was online, so i immediately accept her friend request. so i'm looking through her pics and i'm thinkin 'fuck yea shes hot' so i quickly tried to open another tab for some pr0n….next thing i know i accidentally type some suuuuper perverted shit into the comment section of one of her pics (not even a recent one)….. and it took me a minute to find it so i could delete it….judging by the short amount of time this all happened it, she was most likely still online…. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO. i posted a trololololo status already to pretend like i got hacked…is this likely to work in the event that she caught a glimpse of my comment..? fuck this is embarrasing
Mar 10 2014 10:37PM
540 38
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 36710 - Karma: 110,904
dude ur fuked its probably a 12 year old posing as chris hansen
Mar 10 2014 10:46PM
26 0
profile picture
timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
"How to photoshop bikinis out of facebook photos to masturbate to"
Mar 10 2014 10:48PM
44 0
profile picture
~~~~~~~~
Posts: 2345 - Karma: 2,104
Embrace it, she could be into it ;)
Mar 10 2014 10:49PM
7 1
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7495 - Karma: 50,836
Run to her house. Barge through the door and demand to see the computer. Violently bash the computer on the ground. As she is about to kick you out, immediately defecate on the floor. As she sits there horrified, fry the poop, and make a poop-onion-steak umm- sandwich. Feed it to her and say "Facebook is for squares". You have now wiped her memory, proceed on with your day.
Mar 10 2014 10:53PM
15 6
profile picture
Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
she probably wants the D now.
Mar 10 2014 10:53PM
5 0
profile picture
AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
You're living one of my biggest fears.
Mar 10 2014 10:55PM
36 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12753 - Karma: 32,280
you leave comments on porn videos?
Mar 10 2014 10:55PM
39 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51279 - Karma: 157,803
Maybe she's into kinky shit and your post about "gangrape bondage sluts" will break the ice.


Next stop poundtown.
Mar 10 2014 11:01PM
31 0
profile picture
jibbpeter
Posts: 1613 - Karma: 4,083
Should have immideatly told her on chat that some dickhead friend of yours though it was funny to post that while you were in the bathroom.

Guess it's too late for that now haha.'


GL




But you tried to pee in her butt, so you should be aight.
Mar 10 2014 11:04PM
9 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
no i thought i had opened up a new google tab. but i think there's a dece chance she didn't see it because i deleted like 10-15 seconds after it was posted. she hasn't unfriended me….
i just called up a buddy of mine who is good friends with her and he explained to me that she's chill and not prude at all so i'm a bit relieved. he'll drop my name casually in conversation and see if she brings up the incident…STAY TUNED, NS
Mar 10 2014 11:11PM
11 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51279 - Karma: 157,803
So you told somebody who's good friends with her about this?


And the plot thickens.


Mar 10 2014 11:17PM
14 0
profile picture
-WZ-
Posts: 3600 - Karma: 6,582
threads, inb4 the school finds out and your social life slowly crumbles into nothing so in a fit of rage you become a ski bum but become anorexic because you beg for food and live off ketchup packets and then you end up breaking your skis doing a sick whirlybird to try and win back the hot girl but you fail so you live on the streets and sell your body for $$$

;)
Mar 10 2014 11:18PM
17 2
profile picture
daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
im gonna just take a seat right here.
Mar 10 2014 11:19PM
3 0
profile picture
SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,349
call her mom and just explain the situation, she will be impressed by how resposible u r and send you nudes for sure.
Mar 10 2014 11:24PM
18 0
profile picture
Sophistication.
Posts: 665 - Karma: 352
In order to fully understand I think I need to be informed of the exact details of said comment.
Mar 10 2014 11:25PM
8 0
profile picture
CashmereCat
Posts: 2211 - Karma: 2,394
Turn her into chilli? Always works for me.
Mar 10 2014 11:27PM
2 2
profile picture
daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
hold on, you were masterbating with her on half the screen with porn on the other half, weren't you.


Click for larger image
Mar 10 2014 11:33PM
35 0
profile picture
bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 438
Seriously this. Don't punk out now, you brought us into the pianoman cyber love nest. Before we can reasonably asses, we need to know what she MAY have seen. I haven't lost hope for you yet, 15 seconds is some decent damage control response time.

This actually kind of happened to me once. A girl friended me and my phone actually is fucked and liked a bunch of random pictures. It was whatever, thank god it didn't like a bunch of half nudes or something haha. It was whatever, though I didn't see a picture of her throwing a duck face with her friends and feel the need to comment 'huge load teen face' like yourself ha
Mar 10 2014 11:33PM
0 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 36710 - Karma: 110,904
OP is a dum idiot
Mar 10 2014 11:39PM
1 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
i'll tell ya this much: it would be a hell of a lot more of a relief to me if i actually knew for certain what the exact comment was, but to be 100% honest, i wasn't paying very close attention at the time because i had no idea what i was doing until i noticed afterwards, at which point i was in such a hurry to delete it that i didn't look closely. i do happen to know for sure that it including the words "posing nude" and i'd give it a 70% chance that the word "pussy" made it in their somewhere as well. Aside from that, I am not aware of having gotten into much more detail yet. I was so shocked during the realization that I didn't have enough time to fully process what had occurred. I honestly don't even have a clear memory of what tipped me off that I had entered the text into the wrong place, lets hope it wasn't somebody 'like'ing it.

as for those who asked about whether i was fapping at the time (or with her picture next to porn), the answer is NO. i never actually made it to the porn-viewing part :P
Mar 10 2014 11:44PM
3 1
profile picture
NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
Pics of said female because apparently she's THAT fucking hot.
Mar 10 2014 11:57PM
11 0
profile picture
Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
Holy shit I can't believe no one has demanded pics of said girl for science.

PICS OF SAID GIRL FOR SCIENCE!!
Mar 11 2014 12:09AM
19 0
profile picture
Turner.
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 11,881
Whoa dude, that really is perverted!
Mar 11 2014 12:55AM
5 1
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
no shit sherlock! unless sarcasm, in which case ur wrong
Mar 11 2014 12:56AM
1 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
no shit sherlock! unless sarcasm, in which case ur wrong
Mar 11 2014 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
swaggerboi
Posts: 321 - Karma: 1,374
I saw the comment you perv
Mar 11 2014 1:08AM
6 1
profile picture
DIPED_IN_SAUCE
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,256
Click for larger image
Mar 11 2014 1:08AM
8 1
profile picture
Theskiingguy
Posts: 476 - Karma: 2,514
Now being curious, what did you say?
Mar 11 2014 1:55AM
0 0
profile picture
liftedresearcher
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 1,774
you are such a dingus.
Mar 11 2014 2:34AM
0 0
profile picture
feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
i really hate this sentence, but seriously, kids get dumber every year.

another classic: we are the last good generation.

Mar 11 2014 5:24AM
0 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
OK to everyone who (correctly) thinks I'm dumb: at least understand {roughly} how this silly mistake went down:
first of all, i type like a motherfucker (my alphabet speed is literally 1.7 seconds and i have screenshot proof of this for all you haters out there) and i quickly tried a combo that I usually nail every single time time in under about 4 milliseconds (slight exaggeration). For all you unfamiliar with sophisticated internet hotkey combos out there, I'm speaking of the very versatile Command+T+[type pr0n search]+Enter combination. You may have heard of it. When done successfully, this combo usually produces the desired effect. However, in this case, I was high as a kite and somehow whiffed something in the combo, and I'm not sure exactly which part I missed, but nevertheless, I found myself in a much very different scenario than I had planned, and resulting out of practically a McFlurry of sudden panic, my next move was the common internet hotkey combo flight response we all know as Command+W. Unfortunately, this proved further detrimental to my goals. To end a long story, I had to shuffle back to my own profile and delete it via my Facebook Activity Log (see, I've been on the internet before), hence the agony of about 10-15 seconds.

Sparknotes: read fucker
Mar 11 2014 5:49AM
7 1
profile picture
feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
so how about taking it easy the next time? or cant you wait for 2 more seconds until youre on that porn site?
Mar 11 2014 5:58AM
0 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
if u saw this bitch, you'd understand the unprecedented hurry. next time will be like all other times --relaxed and cool.
Mar 11 2014 6:01AM
2 0
profile picture
feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
you seem like a classy dude. congrats.
Mar 11 2014 6:03AM
3 2
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
thanks buddy. i was noticing you had nice condescension, too ;)
Mar 11 2014 6:39AM
2 0
profile picture
sNaubi
Posts: 1633 - Karma: 2,357
Holy shit, op is actually following up!
Mar 11 2014 6:49AM
0 0
profile picture
chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
The way I read it you never actually attempted to pee in her butt, OP. This is a problem.
Mar 11 2014 9:15AM
2 2
profile picture
SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
message her that u were really high and you need to get it on with her
Mar 11 2014 9:28AM
2 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 36710 - Karma: 110,904
OP just talk to her during recess u dipshit
Mar 11 2014 10:14AM
6 1
profile picture
Ali_Dibden
Posts: 1966 - Karma: 1,688
15s is a pretty short amount of time but i definitely would not want to be in your shoes. From someone not involved the whole situation is funny as shit!
Mar 11 2014 10:14AM
3 0
profile picture
MuckMaestro
Posts: 65 - Karma: 48
Your life is over just boost into a river
Mar 11 2014 10:28AM
2 0
profile picture
Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
something about spaghetti and pockets
Mar 11 2014 10:29AM
4 0
profile picture
CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5711 - Karma: 20,627
Post a link to her profile.






......I wanna send her this thread.
Mar 11 2014 10:46AM
4 1
profile picture
Shewlur...
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 940
youre fucked dude
Mar 11 2014 10:46AM
0 0
profile picture
montanan
Posts: 1787 - Karma: 1,346
fucking a man, dont sweat it. 15 seconds ? ya i think your fine dude. if something was to happen you would have heard about it by now or she would have taken you off her friends if she saw it and was pissed. i bet she never saw it. and if she did and she hasn't said anything to you about it maybe shes just a kinky bitch and fucking likes it. go for the gold buddy, this " shitty situation " may turn out better than you think, maybe she DOES finds out, well just make a big joke out of it, blame it on being hacked by a friend while you were in bathroom whatev, and maybe she will think its funny and will want to hang out with you...... haha just trying to be positive for ya buddy... cause well , ya, ha funny shiit bro , good luck.
Mar 11 2014 11:36AM
3 1
profile picture
rtl32
Posts: 679 - Karma: 1,160
Something very similar happened to me a few weeks ago. Just make a post to everyone and say something like:

"a friend of mine got into my account recently and posted a whole bunch of weird shit all over the place. I've done my best to get rid of as much as I could find, but there might still be a few comments floating around out there. Sorry guys!!"

This should clear it up, and to make it seem more legit, you could tag a few random people including the chick you fucked up with. The randos would think you deleted it before they saw it, and worst case scenario if the girl actually did see it she would think that it was from your hacking friend.

Then you can try peeing in her butt AGAIN
Mar 11 2014 2:54PM
7 0
profile picture
uyghur
Posts: 993 - Karma: 2,028
How do you know said girl even gives a shit about you enough for the comment to matter?
Mar 11 2014 3:02PM
1 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
i don't. she most likely doesn't, but i go to school with her, and she friend requested me not that long beforehand. anyways, thanks for all the advice everyone, so far nothing juicy as happened, as far as i'm concerned i'm good so i think i'll just let it pass and if i find out she knows, i'll say i was hacked and try to play it off cool
Mar 13 2014 3:29AM
1 0
profile picture
snugs
Posts: 966 - Karma: 4,090
you used the term "prude" therefore still in middle school and not high or anything. you are just a weird little sexually awkward dude. no big deal man you'll grow out of it and into your own and youll be banging bitches on the reg in no time. dont even fret
Mar 13 2014 8:11AM
1 5
All times are Eastern (-4)