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March, 2024

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What is the craziest thing you've woken up to after a night of partying?

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JordanButtfart
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 3,027
Just read through a lot of this thread on Reddit and was nothing short of entertained. I know some of NS is older than 12 and has partied, so I'm sure you guys have some funny/interesting stories to tell.

Feb 12 2014 5:58PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36697 - Karma: 110,718
OP's mom.
Feb 12 2014 5:59PM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,656
Two bottles of budlight platinums



Last night was sooo turnt
Feb 12 2014 6:02PM
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catsRjerks
Posts: 291 - Karma: 1,162

an angry greens keeper with a hose...

ohh and OP's mom

Feb 12 2014 6:03PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
If I post it some cocksucker on here will probably notify my school and get my friends and I thrown in jail
Feb 12 2014 6:04PM
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5711 - Karma: 20,627
One morning I woke up and thought it was Monday. I got up, peed, brushed my teeth, and realized it was Sunday. Then I went back to bed.








Feb 12 2014 6:12PM
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PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Once I woke up with the worst hangover ever and my asshole friend switched my water with vodka when i was asleep. chugged the shit out of that and yacked errywhere. Also OP's mom
Feb 12 2014 6:14PM
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-PoonHammer-
Posts: 281 - Karma: 779
Nothing really crazy...the one time I did L and drank, I lost a lot of my clothes and everything else I brought, and had a baseball-sized violet bruise on my hip
Feb 12 2014 6:20PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,071
I'd say it's what I didnt wake up to. No phone, wallet, keys, college ID card. Only thing I had was a messed up thumb from a mystery accident
Feb 12 2014 6:23PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,071
After reading the reddit thread my response is pussyshit, I'll get blackout this weekend and report back on sunday
Feb 12 2014 6:29PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
But my second craziest one was I woke up in a parking lot cuddling with a traffic cone. Then sprinted home with it and when I got inside there were 5 other traffic cones scattered about in my living room....
Feb 12 2014 6:43PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36697 - Karma: 110,718
lol
Feb 12 2014 6:44PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
I'm a classic wake up and think someone is standing in the room. Woke up in a friends bed and vaguely saw what I thought was a very tall person standing in the corner. Turned out to be her closet door with a jacket or something hanging off the edge. Finally figured it out when I went up and asked it if I could go to the bathroom.

Probably the craziest thing I woke up to was in my own apartment my junior year of college. I woke up in my bed and felt a draft / heard something weird. I lived on the 3rd story of my building. I walk into my living room and both windows are wide open (no screens of anything), my roommates record player was playing a skipping record, there were newspapers all over the floor. Something like they show in the Hangover movies after the wild nights. Laughed hard.

I also woke up one time to my windows open again, with christmas lights hanging out the window and my couch cushions in the yard (mind you 3 stories down). When I popped my head out the window and saw this on the ledge over the lower neighbor's window:

Click for larger image
Feb 12 2014 6:49PM
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*DELETED*
Posts: 1043 - Karma: 938
Woke up on my girlfriends sisters couch next to a thousand dollar 3d tv I pissed all over the night before
Feb 12 2014 6:51PM
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Fun_dip
Posts: 2623 - Karma: 913
A large pile of my yack. Didn't remember doing it and I don't know how I managed to not put my head in it
Feb 12 2014 6:52PM
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Wampire
Posts: 1217 - Karma: 4,684
Click for larger image
Feb 12 2014 6:56PM
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raull
Posts: 384 - Karma: 2,232
Poop all over my bed and a poster on my wall from the girl iraw dog butt fucked the night before
Feb 12 2014 8:08PM
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HeshTaDeath
Posts: 152 - Karma: 827
Black gurl
Feb 12 2014 8:54PM
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galaxia
Posts: 307 - Karma: 697
got real threaded and pooped on the bathroom floor. right next to the toilet. Woke up to that. Rommate aws so pissed she went nextdoor and slept in the adjacent condo
Feb 12 2014 9:05PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,298
MY bitch roommate got roofied and took a massive shit on my bathroom floor next to my toilet. I cleaned some of it with her toothbrush then slept at my neighbors so I wouldn't have to deal with the hot mess that was my roommate.
Feb 12 2014 9:17PM
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FLBP
Posts: 1794 - Karma: 310
2 Black eyes. I thought I could do parkour one night and tried to hand spring off of a bike ramp leading to my dorm. I smacked my face off of a light post at some point in the fall. Totally concussed and my friends dragged me to the elevator and got me in my room.
Feb 12 2014 9:20PM
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JuliusJ
Posts: 3778 - Karma: 2,106
woke up this summer on my roof. if any of you are from WA and have gone to hoopfest in Spokane, you will understand
Feb 12 2014 9:28PM
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will_powder
Posts: 3194 - Karma: 5,445
Burst blood vessels in my so it looked like my eye was full of blood. Went away after 2 weeks.
Feb 12 2014 9:31PM
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statuswhitegirl
Posts: 4058 - Karma: 883
woke up from a blackout to a pillow covered in blood and no idea wtf had happened, looked in the mirror to see this, so fucking scary.  I guess I got into a fight on my way home from the bar right before thanksgiving, thats what happens when you drink beer all day then RBV's until 4 am.
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Feb 12 2014 9:34PM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,347
my friends idiot roomate shit on the floor so he came over to stay at my house. i hate that guy, wish he would stop staying at my house.
Feb 12 2014 9:49PM
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bigbromskier
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 330
woke up alone in a ballin' ass room on the 15th floor of the Tahoe Harvey's Casino that I had bought at 4am after a sound tribe show. sick view of the lake n everything! it was supposed to be for me and my roommates cause I got us kicked out of our first hotel room, but I lost them cause I was blackout drunk and my phone was dead. this was after getting kicked out of the end of the tribe show for running around the kitchens n stuff and ended up at the loading dock. they had seen me on the cameras so I wasn't allowed back in haha.

found out the room was $180 a night when I looked at my online banking. the charge mysteriously disappeared a few days later, much to my delight.
Feb 12 2014 10:47PM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
wait what?

why would you not help someone who got roofied and then shit on the floor?
Feb 12 2014 10:51PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36697 - Karma: 110,718
cuz my parents will get mad :(
Feb 12 2014 11:07PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
I once woke up on the roof of a house. Not my house either.
Feb 12 2014 11:13PM
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*N_Wist*
Posts: 422 - Karma: 78
From the reddit thread "One time I woke up in a disgusting abandoned trailer with a backpack full of lawn gnomes and an extra $20 in my pocket." this one made me laugh pretty hard.
Feb 13 2014 12:05AM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1833 - Karma: 1,880
Got roofied in Rome with my friend on his 18th birthday. I woke up with my feet still in the hotel hallway and no idea what happened. My friend was sleeping in my rooms bathtub and his 500 dollar watch had been stolen. He still claims it's his best birthday ever.
Feb 13 2014 12:09AM
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elinde
Posts: 1459 - Karma: 2,934
I threw a party last weekend when the house was empty and after about 11:30 there isn't much memory. Well, I woke up about 6 am and took and some vitamins and drank some water while looking at my trashed house. I woke up again at around 10 with about 5 of my friends still there (1 saint of them woke up at 7 and cleaned without stopping until like 2, he's a savior). Only at this point did I realize that my bed and everything around me was soaked, and my friend informed me that as he was trying to feed me water I pissed everywhere in my bed. After hearing this, I still didn't proceed to get out of my bed for another 2 hours. I thought I should probably get out after being informed of this, but my hungover self decided that I should own my own liquids and enjoy them. And that I did. After I finally did get out of my urine-soaked bed, I threw up until 5. Good day.

Another funny little story about that party is my friend went down to the basement at like 3 am to see his brother and a girl wildly fucking on a mattress on the floor. Then he noticed a kid sitting in a swivel chair watching them, who then turned around and said to my friend, "A lot of strange noises down here." He then turned the chair back towards the mattress and continued watching.
Feb 13 2014 12:09AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,459
Being pulled out of the passenger seat of a car half hanging out caught in the seat belt parked on somebodies lawn, then waking up again the same morning on some strangers bathroom floor while some chick was pissing. Good night
Feb 13 2014 12:15AM
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nine50seven
Posts: 576 - Karma: 686
Dont have any good ones, but my friend woke up next to a fat chick and had a condom on.
Feb 13 2014 12:34AM
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liftedresearcher
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 1,774
one time i woke up with 2 double cheeseburgers from mcdonalds in my jean pockets. not that crazy, but they were pretty tasty.
Feb 13 2014 12:58AM
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boozer
Posts: 518 - Karma: 35,578
I woke up covered in piss with a hawaiian shirt and nothing else on, so I untied the belt around my neck and strolled on home... fuckin bar mitsvas man
Feb 13 2014 1:29AM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
A few girls asking how I got in their house...
Feb 13 2014 9:16AM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623
Three angry construction workers knocking on my door at 7 in the morning. Apparently stacking those construction barrels right in front of the window was a bad idea.
Feb 13 2014 10:07AM
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HungryHypocrite
Posts: 765 - Karma: 939
My wallet with as much money as before and all credit cards.
And it was ridiculous intoxication too.
Feb 13 2014 10:11AM
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DasGoatenshafter
Posts: 580 - Karma: 307
I once woke up with only one piece long underwear on, pen all over my chest (only nice drawings no wieners) and proceeded to try and steal a monkey costume from a girl I'd befriended. She awoke from her slumber and stopped me.
Feb 13 2014 10:34AM
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DeeLaneArts
Posts: 1205 - Karma: 235
woke up underneath a bed and hit my head on the bed springs.   climbed out from underneath and and kid ive never seen before looks down and screams like a girl...  I screamed just as loud... First night in boulder
Feb 13 2014 10:59AM
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Lewisd553
Posts: 52 - Karma: 286
Got wasted the night before. woke upto being spooned by a random dude in a tiger onsie...
Feb 13 2014 12:20PM
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Xanadoo
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,237
visited my little brother at college a while back. had a rather wild evening during which i lost him and virtually everyone else i knew and ended up waking up on a couch in his frat. nothing to crazy.

then i went to my brothers dorm room.

he was passed out on the floor underneath a large table he and his roommate had evidently taken from somewhere. he was covered in dirt head to foot and all of his pockets were stuffed to the brim with dead leaves. his roommate was passed out in his bed covered in scrapes, scratches and bruises with a large bloody gash on his forehead that had soaked my brother's pillow in blood.

when I woke them up neither of them remembered anything and no one we asked the next day had any info on what had happened to them. the best part was my brother had dislocated his shoulder the week before and was in a sling so i have no idea how he carried that table to his room
Feb 13 2014 12:42PM
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~~~~~~~~
Posts: 2345 - Karma: 2,104
now my friends didn't have much respect for my room mates, and my room mates basically furnished the apartment. I came back to my apartment one morning to find my apartment just destroyed, shit broken everywhere, furniture flipped, flour and honey all over the kitchen floor. I was pretty upset that my room mates let this happen.

Then I walked into my room and found my room re-organized into a better set up than I had previously had it, and perfectly clean. I immediately forgave my homies, called them up, and went skiing before my room mates could wake up.
Feb 13 2014 12:53PM
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Benson.
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 3,787
This one time, I woke up with my cell phone...

Headphones...

Wallet with NO MONEY OR CARDS MISSING...

KEYS...

AND ALL MY CLOTHES!!!!!

That was pretty wild, a once in a lifetime experience for sure.
Feb 13 2014 12:56PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
Shit you just reminded me...

Woke up on a couch to girls voices, looked around and didn't recognize the house at all. They came into the room and told me that I came down the alley screaming that some guy was chasing me with a knife so they quickly let me come in. I guess once I got in I told them I was lying and that I was lost and just needed a place to charge my phone to call my friends, and they only believed me because a guy was actually running down the alley behind me... Apparently this all happened around 4am so of course none of my friends answered. I guess next my drunken self tried to get a foursome goin with the 3 girls lol. Needless to say it was super embarrassing hearing all this from complete strangers. I'm just glad they were cool enough to still let me sleep there and give me a ride home in the morning even after trying to pull a foursome lol.

Fuck tequila
Feb 13 2014 1:05PM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,298
hit them up again, they want the d.
Feb 13 2014 1:06PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
I was still shitfaced in the morning. I don't even remember where they live, and definitely wouldn't even recognize them if I saw them
Feb 13 2014 1:33PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36697 - Karma: 110,718
dude you like to drink I see
Feb 13 2014 1:36PM
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L3NNY
Posts: 63 - Karma: 881
I was still inside of her.



...so was the other guy.
Feb 13 2014 2:04PM
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