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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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Thank you Bloom for saving my testicles

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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
First off, the pair of Bloom upward pants that I purchased for myself this year are incredible. I only truly realized how special they are today. As is the usual I was lapping with my friends. We stopped after a jump line to scope out the rails and I suggested that a 50-50 on the flat-up would be sick. I then decided if my friend could do it, so could I. He somehow managed to do it (god fucking knows how), and it was my turn. As you could guess I nutted myself pretty hard, or I would have if it were not for the pants that I were wearing. I hit nuts first, but because of how I sagged my pants the pants took all of the blow and I assumed I had ripped the shit out of them. But after rolling over I realized that not only were my precious lemons safe and sound, but my pants hadn't even torn a bit. And for that, I thank Bloom for allowing me to have children in the future.
Feb 1 2014 6:26PM
233 58
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,823
Amen
Feb 1 2014 6:37PM
24 1
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bleevus
Posts: 1308 - Karma: 2,049
Everyone go buy Bloom.
Feb 1 2014 7:14PM
37 1
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gaper-raper
Posts: 598 - Karma: 2,602
ahmet has a trick tip for hitting urban and this is the first thing he talks about i believe? eye trip maybe?
Feb 1 2014 7:41PM
15 1
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[BoatsNHoes]
Posts: 183 - Karma: 1,324
this exact same thing has happened to me twice in my bloom upward pants
Feb 1 2014 7:45PM
5 1
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SPUTnik.
Posts: 1487 - Karma: 2,555
Gear appreciation belongs in gear talk mr. Burt
Feb 1 2014 8:06PM
2 29
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AnthonyWalsh
Posts: 1571 - Karma: 1,302
after dark
Feb 1 2014 10:24PM
5 1
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
seriously though. awesome brand and an awesome team
Feb 2 2014 1:03AM
5 1
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
I'm trying to contemplate how this is physically possible.

Someone explain.
Feb 2 2014 1:08AM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
u r dum .
Feb 2 2014 2:36AM
8 1
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SassySloth
Posts: 3753 - Karma: 2,095
You don't sound hesh, go home.
Feb 2 2014 2:42AM
1 1
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I'm envisioning an anti-nutting webbing strip that runs from boot to crotch to boot. Someone make this.
Feb 2 2014 3:17AM
7 0
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Static
Posts: 8502 - Karma: 4,111
i heard Arcade was developing ski manacles
Click for larger image
Feb 2 2014 3:21AM
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
Seriously though, wouldn't it just push the sagging pants up, right into the testiballs?

I guess if you made enough tension on the waste by spreading your legs... But even then I don't think you could create enough tension to stop a rail.
Feb 2 2014 2:00PM
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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
Uh
Feb 2 2014 4:59PM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,088
testicles are over rated anyhow, most of us use them less than we would like to.
Feb 2 2014 5:08PM
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Zimmy
Posts: 1258 - Karma: -1,327
I just checked out those pants, and unless you had armor in your groin area, I doubt those pants did diddly squat. Sag is just like a scrotum.

Click for larger image
Feb 2 2014 5:31PM
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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
"Ass out balls deep"
Feb 2 2014 8:09PM
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gravel
Posts: 5483 - Karma: 41,497
You're only cool if you ride Bloom.
Feb 2 2014 10:26PM
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pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 831
if riding in bloom is cool...you can call me myles davis
Feb 2 2014 11:09PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
*if you pee in your Blooms
Feb 2 2014 11:28PM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,088
Beginning of the end
Feb 3 2014 8:42AM
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,893
How about taking it to the next level and adding springs so it's like a tramp. You could intentionally nut yourself, bounce back up and swap. This would open up a whole new dimension of rail tricks.
Feb 3 2014 9:16AM
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steezywannabeezy
Posts: 990 - Karma: 690
Well that's the longest no balls confession I've ever read.
Feb 3 2014 9:54AM
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,893
Forgot to mention : NB4 Jim requests $$$ reward for saving OP's junk.
Feb 3 2014 11:14AM
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S.Ki
Posts: 2175 - Karma: 3,231
relevant:



Everyone sag their pants for gods sake.
Feb 3 2014 1:20PM
6 1
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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
It's easy when your balls haven't dropped yet!
Feb 3 2014 3:16PM
1 1
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bleevus
Posts: 1308 - Karma: 2,049
Thats what I'm saying.
Feb 3 2014 11:09PM
1 0
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gravel
Posts: 5483 - Karma: 41,497
LEVI LIKES DUDES
Feb 3 2014 11:12PM
1 0
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