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I read this thread when it was first written and I didn't feel as if it was my place to say anything to you because who am I to send my condolences over a message board. But fuck that I have something to say because I think it might help.
I have lost several people very close to me over the past 10 years, just like your situation, 1 day we were all laughing and smiling and the next, gone. No signs, no warnings, nothing, gone.
I have lost several immediate relatives and one relatively close friend. While losing anyone is outright horrible, I believe some can be worse than others. Since the day you were born, family is a part of you, in most cases whether you like it or not theyll always be a part of you.
But when it comes to friends and companions, these are the people that you MAKE part of you, you choose to bring these people into your life and hold them close because they are wonderful and make you feel special. And this is why I feel like losing a friend, or a companion can hit just a bit harder than losing anyone or anythin else. It may not make sense to most but it does to me.
I don't know if I will be able to give any advice that hasn't already been given. And I don't know how you are taking your loss, everyone is different. But my biggest advice is to not hold anything in, you might feel like you have to be the rock for others and stand tall but honestly if whatever you hold in doesn't come out now, it is only a matter of time till it does and the longer you wait the worse it will get. Talk about it with anyone, regardless of they knew her, talking and crying do help.
One person above said "don't waste time trying to answer questions that don't have answers". This is an incredible statement. You and everyone in your situation has probably asked yourself "why did this happen to her?" a thousand times already. But there is no answer to this situation, other than the fact that she just may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is no answer and it doesn't do any good asking yourself it, what happened, happened and the only thing you can focus on now is the future.
People say time heals all things and I believe that is true, it does heal, but somethings aren't meant to heal completely. These are the types of wounds that stick around, they shape a person, you will forever be changed by this loss, it will play a major role in the way you look at things, the way you react to things, and the way you handle situations. Hopefully, and this doesn't always happen, but I hope you and everyone involved can become stronger people because of your loss.
With what I've read, your girl sounded like a wonderful person. And I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that she wouldn't want you to mope around, I know it's inevetible, and I believe it is even healthy to do for a limited amount of time after a loss. But you can not let it eat at you, or be a detriment to you for a significant amount of time. You, your girl, and everyone that loves you guys got dealt a bad hand, but you can't always just throw in your cards and walk away when the going gets rough.
Use this as an oppurtuniy to better yourself, better everyone around you, and better the world in general. That is what she would want, isn't that what you would want if it was you instead of her?
And when you're feeling down, just think back about her, her smile, the touch of her skin, you'll get this incredibile warm fuzzy feeling, and you will look up and smile. You will feel completely at peace and regardless of whether or not she's with you in spirit (if you're religious), she'll always be in your heart and knowing that is the best feeling in the world.
I hope you're doing well.
