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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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Why are we put on Earth?

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martymchoop
Posts: 129 - Karma: 156
Im interested to see what people have to say.
Nov 15 2012 5:28PM
4 2
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garret.
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 586
because jesus loves us
Nov 15 2012 5:29PM
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edai
Posts: 4983 - Karma: 4,632
Stupid question, stupid thread.
Nov 15 2012 5:29PM
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nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
We weren't "put" on Earth.
Nov 15 2012 5:30PM
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sklermang
Posts: 2981 - Karma: 1,953
To read this awesome thread
Nov 15 2012 5:31PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
gravity, silly
Nov 15 2012 5:32PM
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FLBP
Posts: 1794 - Karma: 310
We were brought here to fuck shit up.
Nov 15 2012 5:35PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
.
Nov 15 2012 5:36PM
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a_burger
Posts: 5206 - Karma: 20,187
no reasons
Nov 15 2012 5:39PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
We were not inserted onto Earth as humans.

At the beginning (?) of the universe, lots of little pieces of matter were formed (?). After some time, some of this matter came together and formed some bigger objects. One of these objects was what we call Earth.

Earth went through a lot of changes, and slowly, as Earth became what we know as "habitable", some of this matter managed to start using other pieces of matter in order to benefit itself (single cells). This developed, and multiple cells came together in order to form organisms. Organisms had to change to survive the changing conditions, and somehow "we" found our way into existence.

For the last part of how "we" were put on Earth, we have already been here for a long time, just not as humans, instead as elements randomly spread throughout Earth. You can ask your parents about the last details.

So, basically, we are just a way for the universe to observe itself. (I can't say where this quote is from, because it's so old, but I guess Carl Sagan might have mentioned it in a similar way).
Nov 15 2012 5:43PM
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Poop_nugget
Posts: 534 - Karma: -15
to pee in peoples bum bums
Nov 15 2012 5:49PM
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Poop_nugget
Posts: 534 - Karma: -15
to pee in peoples bum bums
Nov 15 2012 5:50PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
/thread.




Just kidding 5+ pages incoming
Nov 15 2012 5:52PM
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Bumblesteeze
Posts: 3092 - Karma: 748
Why don't you bump another thread like you did last time?
Nov 15 2012 5:54PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51261 - Karma: 157,426
Part 1

Because adam showed eve his tree of knowledge of good and evil, and she sate from it... She ate from it all night long.

Then they had kids(I wasn't around then) and one killed the other, and then somehow more people were chilling on the earth. At that point populating the earth was going along pretty well, but it needed to be stopped. So god told this old drunk homeless guy Noah to build a giant boat instead of living in his box and getting drunk all day. So this dude builds the boat, then the lord doses him with the power to pied piper all the animals from around the world onto the boat. He can't get the animals to stop fighting but one day while he was at the royal palace, he saw this dude david down in a cage with lions. Amazing enough david had managed to stop the lions from eating him with the sweet music of his harp. Noah knew that this was somebody he needed in his wheelhouse. Anyway the day they were supposed to leave, pharaoh sent his army to stop them from leaving. Wasn't really a point since they were in a giant boat in the middle of the land but regardless, he was pissed. So anyway right as pharaohs army gets close, abraham strikes the rock wall of the big damn and a giant wall of water engulfs them and sodom and gomorrah. A man names lot mad it out of the city and swam to the big boat. His wife had drowned because she didn't listen to god and take the swimming lessons. Any way, the rain started to pour, david played the animals music, and they were off. Half way around the world the engine started to go and God told noah to throw 3 of his sons into the furnace to use as fuel. The lord was just testing him though and when Noah tried to, the angel of death came down from egypt and killed a dragon to spare his son. (This is why we have no dragons today as they were unable to reproduces)One day God walked across the water and up to the boat, he told noah, my son will come from on high, and you will raise him as if he was your own child. The next day in the middle of the night noah's crew found a baby floating in a basket and brought it aboard. They named him jesus as the lord had instructed. Mary, noahs wife grew jealous as she thought that noah was having an affair. Noah told her to feel his junk and said you have seen and now believe, but blessed are those who do not see but yet believe.
Nov 15 2012 5:55PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
god made adam and eve, not adam and steve!
Nov 15 2012 5:57PM
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DUCKS
Posts: 97 - Karma: 240
Click for larger image
Nov 15 2012 5:59PM
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Rafiki
Posts: 3858 - Karma: 2,251
to fuck it up obviously
Nov 15 2012 5:59PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
Oh cool, I really didn't know that! Wondered why we have statues of dragons but no real ones!
Nov 15 2012 5:59PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10054 - Karma: 25,277
Our destiny is to endlessly watch videos of cute kittens being cute:


Nov 15 2012 5:59PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
To destroy teh pows.
Nov 15 2012 6:02PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
^
Nov 15 2012 6:04PM
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Jblz
Posts: 556 - Karma: 206
>walk into Gamestop
>ask for a copy of Atelier Totori
>”What?”
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>”Please give me a copy of Atelier Totori right now.”
>”I don’t know what that is. What platform is it on?”
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>”have money please alterlier toroti give money please game”
>”Are you ok?”
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through the Gamestop employee’s counter
>he’s holding on to me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling “ATELIER TOTORI PLEASE MONEY ATELIER GAMESTOP TOTORI”
>Gamestop employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>Gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail
Nov 15 2012 6:07PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
To dance.
Nov 15 2012 6:09PM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
To ask shallow questions like "Why are we put on earth?".
Nov 15 2012 6:13PM
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SKITHEEAST7
Posts: 31 - Karma: 10
To ski mutha Fucka!!   

Skert Skert
Nov 15 2012 6:31PM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
to scratch our bellies and sip warm, flat beer as we piss off bridges onto trains in the flat sunlight of cold december mornings, our breath hanging heavy in the air.
Nov 15 2012 7:14PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
To get our fuck on
Nov 15 2012 7:19PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
because i didn't want to be put on uranus
Nov 15 2012 7:26PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
because it contains the ideal conditions for human life. silly, you wouldn't survive on Mars, the Moon, Jupiter, Uranus, etc.
Nov 15 2012 8:05PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
i did that to show people how useless their bickering is. and how hopeless they are in making any progress. and that the only place theyll get is angry.
maybe i will if this thread takes off but it looks like it may just die peacefully
Nov 15 2012 8:07PM
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E-Nix
Posts: 382 - Karma: 187
Sex?
Nov 15 2012 8:08PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Because one day everything we know just happened to exist.
Nov 15 2012 8:12PM
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Mr.DarthVader
Posts: 1322 - Karma: 556
no doubt
Nov 15 2012 8:13PM
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_Garagely_
Posts: 1938 - Karma: 3,198
Adam fucked Eve
Nov 15 2012 8:19PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
i'm just here to have fun.
Nov 15 2012 8:20PM
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FuckAllOfYou
Posts: 3864 - Karma: 2,518
to have sex, literally. but we're TOO SMART now or whatever. haha jk, i love humanity and how we're all just existing. I also find the brain extremely fascinating. ANYWAY i like to think that we're here to figure out and learn and live, then die. The end.
Nov 15 2012 8:23PM
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plaplapla
Posts: 435 - Karma: 70
this is a dumbass thread
Nov 15 2012 8:43PM
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Puns
Posts: 2052 - Karma: 429
any reason you can think of is self important and wrong I think. = no reason.
Nov 15 2012 8:53PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
because the great creator Dildor put us here
Nov 15 2012 8:54PM
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jc00
Posts: 92 - Karma: 75
this 100%
Nov 15 2012 9:14PM
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TijmenDal
Posts: 4849 - Karma: 1,295
To masturbate
Nov 15 2012 9:39PM
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TijmenDal
Posts: 4849 - Karma: 1,295
Comon! Seriously? Stealing my comments.
Nov 15 2012 9:39PM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,166
Haha, I like how a bunch of stories from both old and new testaments are present in Noahs story. And it was Daniel in the lions den, not David.
Nov 15 2012 9:42PM
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Uah
Posts: 1104 - Karma: 176
We are put on earth, to figure out why we were put on earth. I prefer to just have fun, its a much easier philosophy.
Nov 15 2012 9:43PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
I was put on this earth to call OP a bitch.

OP you're a bitch.
Nov 15 2012 9:44PM
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homestar
Posts: 2124 - Karma: 4,197
Because you touch yourself at night.
Nov 15 2012 9:54PM
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AwR
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 1,878
to ski
Nov 15 2012 9:57PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
we're in a matrix

Nov 15 2012 10:04PM
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Miclovin
Posts: 1043 - Karma: 637
to praise jesus
Nov 15 2012 11:50PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,396
so i can rain hell with banjos on unexpecting people
Nov 15 2012 11:51PM
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