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Not sure if I want to go home ever...

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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
Spark notes provided at the bottom


Just sitting hear in philly right now listening to some tunes and thinking. Been on my mind for a while though. Now that there was a sensible point to head home after atlantic city this weekend, im thinking I don't know if I want to go home ever.

Not saying I have a great plan or ideas just more that I don't want the adventure to end. Despite some bad shit here and there it's been an awesome time. Met so many more cool people, saw some of my best friends that I hadn't seen in years. Ran into one kid in tennessee I hadn't seen in at least 4 years, really hung out with since 06/07.

I just feel like if I go back I just don't want to get into a rut. I mean if I go home it's not like I have to stay there but there's just been a lot of shit there. Some good people but it's a place I've never fit in, that was never for me. One good friend in the same boat and just a bunch of strangers I don't feel like will ever be real friends.

On this trip I've felt like for the first time I'm not missing anything being sober. I was able to rock some stuff out sober, but there was always the feeling that it would have been this much better if I had some of this or that. Now I really feel hat life is just amazing. I don't have a problem with any of it. I'm not anti drug. Fuck, I just did a bunch of shows and festivals, but I just feel like for me something finally clicked. Quitting everything was one of the hardest things I did but something I needed to do. I just feel like I've figured some shit out, even though I still don't have a game plan for anything. I've figured me out I guess. Like having one of those epiphanies from tripping really hard with but having not done any drugs.


Idk if that makes any sense. I just don't want to go back home and fall back into ruts I've broken out of, especially after all that's happened in the last few months, especially this last month so far. At the same time I really don't have a plan, I don't really know where I want to go or what I want to do. I'm thinking of just drawing names of places and driving there and deciding if I want to kick it there or move on.




Sparknotes : Had a great time, feel like I have my life on track but have no real plans or ideas. Don't want to go back home and get sucked back into old habits with in a shitty places, but don't have any real ideas of where to go or why.

Thinking of just moving around for the rest of the summer and then choosing another random location for this winter maybe.
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Is that absolutely retarded or does that make sense in anyway? Probably a bad idea to think out load but whatever. I really don't care. Anyone else in a similar spot or have any advice or ideas?
Jun 13 2012 6:45PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
I love you man, no homo

Phish is gonna be awesome. I might be down to kick it in burlington for a little while. Not sure if I'm goin back to nh.

Would def be down to take a trip west. We should just wing it and take a road trip at some point.


I know this is like 7 posts in a row but I felt the need to quote some of these
Jun 14 2012 10:05PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
sorry for quoting a billion things in a row but liked this post as well.

Dope

+ k to the good people in this thread.
Jun 14 2012 10:07PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,465
i feel you.


if it was possible it'd be sick to secure yourself a solid amount of money before college was over, then you could just live without a care in the world for a while and do whatever you want.

god damn dude. i cannot tell you how incredible my dream for life is. it's pretty damn simple too. all i want to do is meet a gorgeous girl and travel around the world going wherever we want, staying for however long we want in one place, and taking tons of pictures and making lots of friends. skiing would just be a bonus if we ever got to. theres nothing better than just setting out and doing something.

i've also wished at times that i was extremely talented in skiing or bmx or any random action sport. if i was really talented, i could get paid to travel around the world and do the things i love.. that'd be amazing.



to me it's like something that i used to do in elementary school. in the car i'd see random streets that looked interesting, going to school, driving to the grocery store, wherever i was going. i'd memorize each and every one of them, where they where, and how to get to them. a year or so later once my parents trusted me riding around town all day on my bike, i'd hop on my bike, put in my headphones, and go bike down every single one of those streets. even better, if i saw a cool looking street while i was biking, i wouldn't hesitate to pop down it.

that's what it's all about to me. i think in a way, never settling down is the perfect way to settle down. as long as you're not a douche, you'll make so many friends, experience some amazing things, live life to the fullest, and never, EVER, be bored.
Jun 14 2012 10:10PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
true.


And you guys have wawa, and wawa has been kicking subways ass for ever. Also the free atms. Fuck I wish wawa was in new york.

What part of pa are you in? I'm in bucks county in warrington. Like 20 min half hour from philly I think but I don't know pa extremely well.
Jun 14 2012 10:10PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
come to alberta and shred some pow!
Jun 14 2012 10:11PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
that's not true
Jun 14 2012 10:12PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
I'm the next county over from bucks, probably only like a half hour from ya.

How long ya in PA for, and do ya rock climb?? Ralph Stover state park is right over there in bucks and I've been trying to get over there since the spring to do a little top roping. Hit me up if your interested.
Jun 15 2012 9:10AM
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ROBOT
Posts: 453 - Karma: 219
i rep PA and am currently living in Philly, had to put that out there.
Jun 15 2012 9:38AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
damn. was just back in pa a couple days ago, no internet though
Jun 24 2012 11:25AM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
Emmmmmmmmmmooooooo
Jun 24 2012 1:16PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
so emo.

bet youve been up to so much sick shit the last 2 months
Jun 24 2012 1:47PM
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HorsePenisJohn
Posts: 26 - Karma: 10
Don't be such a wienerfor
Jun 24 2012 1:49PM
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kaassouffle
Posts: 164 - Karma: 13
its not that bad an idea.. this will probably sound gay as hell.. but just keep in mind-- wherever you go.. there you are.
Jun 24 2012 2:04PM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
im moving to big sky MT next winter and need a roommate
Jun 24 2012 2:13PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
I do large quantities of bathsalts, but other than that I'm a pretty decent guy.
Jun 24 2012 2:26PM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
who cares about the future? youre still alive, be thankful for your memories.


Jun 24 2012 2:31PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
my brains to broken to actually have memories but im def down for good experiences with cool people.


oh yeah and still didn't go home. heading to conn tonight, then nyc, then indiana>wisconsin.
Jun 24 2012 2:33PM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
also op, you live in new hampshire. get a job out west man, its warmer plus more snow.
Jun 24 2012 2:36PM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
dannng right i have
Jun 24 2012 8:35PM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
well my brains are small, fried and most likely inedible, so im not really scared of bath salt zombies
Jun 25 2012 3:30AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
lived in new hamspshire for one winter. Not sure where im heading next year. And don't really have a home at the moment.


Hopefully something good rolls my way for next season. Also hoping my body stays intact.



Whatever happened to the island we were all gonna pool our money and buy?
Jun 25 2012 4:53PM
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GabP
Posts: 568 - Karma: 74
You can get back to your house, or find a real home, FOR YOU  where you just feel good and you don't know why. I'm turning 19 , last summer i spent 3 months out west and i had the time of my life, had fun, not stressed at all, then i came back "home". It was my final year in college, never felt that much pressure in my entire life and i was going trough hard times. My girlfriend dropped me, my mom and dad divorced,  started being really depressive, gettin high/drunk more often because i needed too. Suicidal thoughts started ruinning through my mind, i didnt liked myself AT ALL.  i was being a jerk to everyone around me because i wasnt happy with my life and i didn't care about anything. Now, ive made MY choice, even if ive been accepted to University and even though my parents threatened me of not paying for school if im not going  this year, i dont care. It's not about school, your parents or anyhting, its about being happy. When you wake up in the morning, look at you in the mirror and ask yourself : Am I faithful with myself? Right now, is this really what/where/etc. i want to be ?
 Sry for the bad english, its not my mother tongue, i tried my best. 
Jun 25 2012 11:42PM
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TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
liberty trip soon please
Jun 25 2012 11:49PM
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