1. Cover your stump before you hump.
2. Before you attack her, wrap your attacker.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat.
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up that penis.
14. When you take of her pants and blouse, be sure to suit up your trouser mouse.
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.