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March, 2024

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How to make friends / get invited to parties

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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
Soooo..... i always see pictures on facebook of these people having sick parties. but i never get invited.
i have come to the conclusion that im not friends with any of the people who throw the parties.

so im wondering how i make friends with the cool guys/ hot girls who throw parties so that i can get invited to them so i have something to do other then surf NS every fucking night.
and no, i cant just walk up to them and say hey, wanna be friends? i have gone to school with these people forever, that would be weird.
and one more issue, all the people who have these parties are mad perps, so i don't exactly fit into their cult thingy because im not rich, dont play golf or wear pastel colored khakis and golf shirts to school every day.

please help
May 29 2012 9:17PM
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LiquorLanch
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 1,046
>get self esteem
>be outgoing
>????
>Profit

seriously it's not hard to figure out
May 29 2012 9:19PM
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foskettchyz
Posts: 64 - Karma: 20
Where i live its like if theres a party you just go, you dont have to be invited so i just get the adress from someone and arive and slay
May 29 2012 9:20PM
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Dreamcatchers
Posts: 62 - Karma: 14
I've got the same situation. Stick with a pack of friends and just tag with them. Chances are everyone will be too drunk to care
May 29 2012 9:21PM
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alex=
Posts: 1738 - Karma: 2,835
I had this problem last year.
Cut off all connections with the rich kids there and leave the school. Go to more laid-back school.
It's so fucking cash
May 29 2012 9:21PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,947
How old are you? If high school...I was just like you. That's how it is. Those kids can go fuck themselves, they probably suck.

Have fun with the friends you have. Use college as an opportunity to start offer, make new friends, go out, meet tons of people. That's how I played it and it's worked out fairly well. Most of the kids I went to high school with suck hard.
May 29 2012 9:21PM
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Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,545
Talk to a popular kid at the end of the school day on Friday, engage him in conversation, make your self "appear" cool and popular. Say "hey, I gotta go, what are you up to tonight?". Fuck logic, I'm Rick James.
May 29 2012 9:21PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
the people im friends with arent really into doing that stuff. i kinda think they are holding me back image-wise, but theres no one else to be friends with
May 29 2012 9:22PM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,633
Why would you ask NS of all places on how to make friends, but seriously, if they are preps and you don't fit in then chances are you're not going to like them if you ever become friends with them, just find a bunch of people that have the same interests as you do and chill with them every night, I would much rather chill then go to parties. Besides it can't be just a core group of people that are the only people that throw parties. If it is then just be more outgoing. You've gone to school with them for years so they're bound to know who are, just get out there more and start conversations with them about recent stuff or whatever, be more outgoing that;s the problem I had and what you're having. Also if you have a couple friends that get invited to parties and you're so inclined to do so too, then get closer to them and they'll most likely invite you.
May 29 2012 9:24PM
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TimRiley
Posts: 1873 - Karma: 1,327
well said. you be you, don't try to "just fit in" with kids
May 29 2012 9:25PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
This exactly.

Stick with your good friends and party with them. You will have a lot more fun partying around people that you actually enjoy being around.
May 29 2012 9:30PM
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Ski_ThEast
Posts: 1676 - Karma: 272
if you're in any classes with them try to start talking with him/her and just try to become friendly with one then you'll eventually meet all of them.  Or play a sport that a few of them play, that's an easy way to become close with kids i think.
May 29 2012 9:31PM
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bustinthejus
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 74
Would you really ditch your friends just cause you can find somebody cooler? Shit, what are you, 14? If you're socially awkward enough to not know how to make friends, and resort to asking NS, there's your answer right there.
May 29 2012 9:33PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7381 - Karma: 144

Join a sports team.  I hate sports but back in high school I met so many awesome/crazy people through sports, I always had something to do and talk about.  Some of my best memories from high school came from doing ridiculous shit during practice/games.  That wasn't my primary 'group of friends' like it is for some people but I heard about a lot of parties, interesting rumours, had great stories, knew a lot of cool upper classmen and people in general.  I played hockey and lacrosse but almost all my friends did at least one sport (even if it was XC which was the catch-all sport) and generally all the 'cool guys' played one sport or another.  Exercise don't hurt either.

You should try to find a group of guy friends rather than look for parties.  Having a solid group of friends who you hang out together with each weekend is way more important than getting invited to a party where you don't have a crew and don't really know anyone.  Making friends with other guys can take a lot of time for some people...the more you 'practice' socializing just by hanging out with people, the better you'll get but it'll take years for you to finally be comfortable in social settings/making friends.

If you have some guy friends you chat with in classes, then its pretty easy to just say like 'what are you doing this weekend, and is it cool if I join?" Or just ask if they wanna chill this weekend.  If I remember correctly, you have to be very forward about getting invited to shit...like its not dick just straight up ask to come.  If they really don't want to or don't have room (in the car or some shit) then they'll let you know but still invite yourself again.  It can take a lot of time of inviting yourself before you become 'one of the crew' and people start texting you regularly to hang out.  Its better to be the friend that nobody likes than to have no friends.

Once you get a group of guy friends, its pretty easy to transition to hanging out with girls...just make friends in class and ask what they're up to for the weekend and if they and they're friends want to hang out with you and your bros.

Also all this social stuff gets way easier in college as long as you put yourself out there in high school and you'll have amazing times in high school also.

May 29 2012 9:34PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
make good friends and have a core group of people that you like to hang out with because after high school everyone leaves and go their separate ways. you will most likely never see most of these people ever again accept in your FB feed hahah so if you can keep in touch with your good friends and you will be fine.
May 29 2012 9:36PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
except they dont party.

and there isnt anyone whos what i would consider genuinely chill at my school. literally the median income for a family in my town is $119,509. the vast majority of people are preppy bitches. there is no one i really enjoy hangin with. no one likes cliff jumping, or doing anything outdoors, and the few who do are assholes.

theres literally like no one i really fit in with. i wish there were more NSer type people around....
May 29 2012 9:36PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7381 - Karma: 144

Sorry for the double post but don't listen to kids on NS, they're just being dicks.  They have no idea how hard it is for some people...looking back on it I struggled with these similar issues up until Junior year or so and it was incredibly difficult.  Its something I would think about all the time.  But that definitely helped me a lot and I learned how to make friends and now I have absolutely no trouble socially.

Obviously NS is going to say 'fuck the rich preppy kids' but the preppy kids are probably saying fuck the 'low life hipster stoner skiers'.  One thing I've learned is to always try to be extremely open and non-judgemental.  Tons of people come across as assholes, douches, rich cocky assholes, dirtbags, etc. but your better off trying to accept and love everyone and their imperfections.  Be nice to everyone. 

pm me if you have any other questions

May 29 2012 9:42PM
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shane.t
Posts: 729 - Karma: 364
this isexactly how my area is with a 200mile radius, I just put out a lot of cliff jumping edits and skiing edits and all these preppy kids basically want to buttfuck me after they see it so whatever. my brother and 1 friend are the only people who cliffjump/ski freestyle. Just make people laugh and they will like you
May 29 2012 9:43PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
i'd recommend sticking to a few real friends instead of a whole bunch of fake friends

real friends will be there for you all the time, not just when everything is going great
May 29 2012 9:45PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
you have your own fucking party.

with no rules.

you win.
May 29 2012 9:47PM
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sleazy
Posts: 374 - Karma: 281
i feel yah, your problems are the majority of high schoolers problems! Honestly i just go to parties and then the kids start talking to me, just show up at the parties everyone is chill.
May 29 2012 9:47PM
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*Bird
Posts: 1895 - Karma: 316
dude im kinda like the kids you want to hang out with however im not a dick, or at least i dont think i am. Like i hang out with elementary friends who are pretty socially awkward but i dig hanging with them. guys especially are down to kick it with anyone who knows/want to have a good time. I cant really talk for them but chicks... they will either like your or not. just complement them, and remember things they tell you, not weird shit but stuff they are doing or awards they got and bring it up again latter asking them about how it went and stuff. I do that all the time and they dig that
May 29 2012 9:48PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
Well to be honest, just hang out with the people that you would actually consider your friends then. Don't try to be fake and be someone else just so you can hang out with the "cool" people because that just puts you on their level. You are in high school, it's not the end of the world if you don't get fucked up every weekend.
May 29 2012 9:49PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
this be open to trying new things as well.
May 29 2012 9:49PM
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colleenator
Posts: 885 - Karma: 60
honestly its nothing special. most of the pictures you see on fb are of fake smiles and one out of ten is a decent party. if you really want to get your foot in the door, confidence and humour is key. im not saying its guaranteed but its a major plus. people dont understand that  popularity is bullshit. most of the time people are fake and immature. ive had the same group of friends since i moved, (since 05). luckily we clicked instantly and have similar personalities. its just best to be with people you get along with than fake bitches and douchebags. disclaimer: they arent ALL fake. from what ive observed from my friends, if you arent in "the circle", they can be complete pricks or occasionally nice. its not worth to bust you ass to try to be friends with them. the ones you have understand you and you shouldnt ask for anything more.
May 29 2012 9:50PM
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alex=
Posts: 1738 - Karma: 2,835
nothing wrong with stayin home on a friday night and getting drunk by yourself.
May 29 2012 9:50PM
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*Bird
Posts: 1895 - Karma: 316
and by elementary friends i mean kids i have hung out with since elementary school
May 29 2012 9:50PM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,342
pinknames have no say in this matter. girls (unless freakishly ugly) will never have the same problems being invited to parties as guys have. its just simple mathematics/biology or some shit like that.
May 29 2012 9:54PM
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sleazy
Posts: 374 - Karma: 281
whattt? haha i havent gotten invited to parties before. doesnt mean i dont go.
May 29 2012 9:56PM
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JzD.
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 153
Try to get some mutual friends of the so called cool kids, mutual friends are good
May 29 2012 9:57PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
Once you turn 21... before that it's kinda depressing. Grab a few buddies and a few mixers and have yourself a good ol' time.
May 29 2012 10:00PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
Once you turn 21... before that it's kinda depressing. Grab a few buddies and a few mixers and have yourself a good ol' time.
May 29 2012 10:00PM
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*Bird
Posts: 1895 - Karma: 316
ur one of those kids who just shows up.... smh, you get away with it cas ur a chick
May 29 2012 10:00PM
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jca
Posts: 4162 - Karma: 6,261
Project X dawwg, that's how you get cool. just watch the movie
May 29 2012 10:07PM
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Tortid
Posts: 361 - Karma: 151
what i do that seems to really work cause i get invited to most parties is as follows.
1.talk to people
2. crack mad jokes
3.????????
4. profit
May 29 2012 10:11PM
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sleazy
Posts: 374 - Karma: 281
i figure if i throw parties i get to go to them too.
Plus the parties in my area get big so no one actually gets invited.
May 29 2012 10:15PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
A. throw parties yourself
B. go to raves
and/or
C. socialize

May 29 2012 10:15PM
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JzD.
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 153
Good point, but OP just roll up to a party with your friends and chill with them, usually youll meet some cool kids and thats the key, I bet your friends secretly want to get fucked up but are scared, correct me of I'm wrong
May 29 2012 10:22PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
i never got invited to parties in high school, but i had some friends from other schools and would hear about their parties and i just kinda started showing the fuck up. if they try to kick you out grab as much beer as you can carry and make for the fucking door.
May 29 2012 10:27PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
i never got invited to parties in high school, but i had some friends from other schools and would hear about their parties and i just kinda started showing the fuck up. if they try to kick you out grab as much beer as you can carry and make for the fucking door.
May 29 2012 10:27PM
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kstanz
Posts: 3058 - Karma: 477
Be good looking and desirable by the ladies. But honestly HS party's suck most of the time. Where I am from at least
May 29 2012 10:39PM
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bustinthejus
Posts: 2419 - Karma: 74
Pretty much this... nothing wrong with kids who are kinda awkward and don't do so well in social situations, but I always do a double-take when I see awkward kids just show up to parties... if you're gonna show up, at the very least try to socialize with people, and put some effort into making connections, instead of being the weird kid that just shows up... you'll get way more respect that way.
May 29 2012 10:40PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
i really enjoyed this part.  thank you.
May 29 2012 10:45PM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
I know that feeling man. I am a complete introvert and struggle with clincal depression and anxiety. This never helped.

Unfortunately what I did was hang around kids who wasted their money on drugs and attended school as often as MTV played a music video. I stuck with smoking pot and ended up looking past the bad image these kids made for themselves. I began to understand them and made some good friends. I still feel a disconnect from my graduating class. I was supposed to graduate in three weeks, but I had a mental melt down and I dropped out in January (got the remaining course through a community college though). I have spent a little time out of High School and I can honestly say, it gets better.

They are just immature angsty teens. Give them some time and they will be less preppy. They probably aren't your friends nor will they ever. Take pride in your joy for skiing, cliff jumping, or whatever makes you happy. It will serve you well when you get out of high school and maybe while you are in High School.

My only advice is, don't try and fit in. You will be MISERABLE

It's just my anecdotal experience though
May 29 2012 11:00PM
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ReelTeamSix
Posts: 129 - Karma: 63
your sig says ski the east, and your town sounds like it might be in my area... I dont do a ton of parties (best way to get in though is get to be good friends with a hot chick, and she'll be welcome at any party even if she wasnt invited, so you just go with her) but theres a core group of kids like you just mentioned that i chill with a lot, so if you're nearby you can come cliff jumping in the quarry or tramping with us or something
May 29 2012 11:03PM
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Rafiki
Posts: 3858 - Karma: 2,251
send ElGato pics if ya know what i'm saying. eh, ehhhh?
May 29 2012 11:06PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
You can find friends on craigslist. Sometimes eBay, too.
May 29 2012 11:07PM
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Rumi.
Posts: 1231 - Karma: 556
show up to any party with lots of beer/weed. at first they will invite you to use you but slowly start cutting down from 30 rack, to 12, to 6 pack, and eventually you'll just get invited on the reg.

works everytime
May 29 2012 11:20PM
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james6345789
Posts: 4763 - Karma: 465
hahahaha i fucking lost man hahahaha
May 29 2012 11:39PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
you sound kinda immature. you should try not giving a fuck instead.
May 29 2012 11:53PM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
go to the liqor store, buy 2 40's, and keep one, give one out to others, no one isnt going to let you into a party with extra booze. I have alwatys been freinds with people who throw parties so i dont really know your situation. Im drunk btw, so this may not make sence/
May 29 2012 11:58PM
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