I have my own criteria's as to judge the noble art of farting. They are as follows:
1. criteria. The sound.
The sound/noise is important to a good fart. at one end of the scale you have the silent release of air and at the other end of the scale you have eh.... me - when i fart it gets on the Richter scale, tables turn over and sea mammals seek to the open water.
2. criteria. The smell.
The smell is equally as important to a good fart as the noise. Here at one end of the scale, we find the ones that may be categorized as harmless - at the other end, we have the full on chemical warfare. Her a good example would be my girlfriend/wife, when she lets one go, there is no sound, no nothing, Just a sudden gassy smell and then you start to lose the feeling in your arms and legs; slowly drifting to wards being unconscious.
3. criteria. The matter.
This is, well, the hard fact. When you fart it is most of the times just air, but some times its not. Its a lot more.
If you can make a 3 out of 3 in this, you have done a good job - and I have to say that I excel in the noice part of the game.
