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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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Want a quick chuckle?

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Boooshank
Posts: 1650 - Karma: 160
I laughed.

Scroll down and read the reviews.

May 3 2012 4:31AM
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LIL-WAT
Posts: 1510 - Karma: 146
"The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS."

hahah lost.
May 3 2012 4:32AM
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Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
Some of those reviews are hilarious. "...Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth. Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that."
May 3 2012 6:47AM
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Cotter
Posts: 2546 - Karma: 850
i love this
May 3 2012 7:06AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
hahaha, i approve !
May 3 2012 7:14AM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423

haha why did you stop

"However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children."

May 3 2012 7:24AM
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thenightman
Posts: 766 - Karma: 132
haha these are gold

Have decided to do a written review as opposed to the video version.

Stephen and The Twins have suffered for many years from subtropical conditions, and naturally this discomfort has driven me to distraction. Formerly, I would have to make do with regular blasts of an air compressor, but such equipment has been troublesome to keep with me. Having been refused admission on a Ryanair flight to Bruges, I decided my bat's ears required drastic chemicular action.

Step forward Veet! While the application proved to be mildly uncomfortable, I was discharged from hospital within four days and am now blessed with smooth and silky nether regions. True, my rear loader looks like something found in the Co-op's vegetable counter, and my clockweights are favourites to win the Turner Prize, but one gives with one hand, and takes with the other.

Rumours that Veet are in league with Basque separatist groups are unfounded. I am delighted with this product, and would recommend to all consumers.

Bill Clinton
May 3 2012 11:13AM
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HeyImPeter
Posts: 190 - Karma: 12
Every single one of these is gold
May 3 2012 12:03PM
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TijmenDal
Posts: 4849 - Karma: 1,295
LOL'ing so loud in the Uni library here, whahahahah.
May 3 2012 12:11PM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
I lost. Then I lost again. Lulz..
May 3 2012 12:17PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
lost so many times +k needed the boost
May 3 2012 12:20PM
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zflink
Posts: 309 - Karma: 283
Someone really spent some time on this one

"Sergeant slaughter and his two lovely daughters
Do get the occasional trim.
New bird on the stage, nearly half my age
My purchase a bit of a whim

The instruction book did not get a look
I thought I knew how to use Veet
Whipped out my tower, whilst stood in the shower
Spreading it liberally all over my meat

I flipped off the cap, lifted up the old chap
Pushing the limits i'm sure
I wanted to groom in the valley of doom
Now my starfish is bleeding and raw

I tried to keep calm washing off the napalm
Leaving me all of a fluster
You could boil a small lake or cook a big steak
With the heat from my genital cluster.

Less grass on the wicked, but all's still not cricket
It does add an inch or two
A full week past, how long will it last?
Still unable to sit, stand or poo.

You may well cry but tears will dry,
Leaving balls as smooth as jam jars,
My slong looks huge, still no sign of pubes
So i'm happy to award it 5 stars"
May 3 2012 12:31PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
These are good too
http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve/product-reviews/B002HJ377A/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_summary?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

Click for larger image
May 3 2012 12:55PM
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Relish_man
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 551
hahaha holy shit that is a masterpiece!
May 3 2012 1:13PM
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DubV134
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 690
not sure if too high but these are the funniest two lines ever
May 3 2012 1:20PM
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UFOsarereal
Posts: 2282 - Karma: 1,109
Carol Vorderman's arse, for those curious:
Click for larger image
May 3 2012 1:31PM
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DubV134
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 690
^ and cruella de vil
May 3 2012 1:32PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Lola were had
May 3 2012 1:42PM
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GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
That´s hillarious! + K to you
May 3 2012 2:55PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
Based on the range of informative reviews, I bought a tube for my allotment. Diluted 1:1000 it cleared the weeds overnight, but unfortunately made the modest 1/3rd acre plot look like it had been napalmed. I should be able to plant rape seed to regenerate in 2015.



this was the most recent comment


what
May 3 2012 3:01PM
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Rosstafarian
Posts: 262 - Karma: 93
the interwebs deliver yet again!
May 3 2012 3:27PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
This is the greatest thing that has ever been stumbled upon on amazon

+K
May 3 2012 3:37PM
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Janky
Posts: 1323 - Karma: -100
knob and bollocks lol
May 3 2012 3:39PM
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Janky
Posts: 1323 - Karma: -100
knob and bollocks lol
May 3 2012 3:39PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
thread is gold.

This review for what you posted is awesome:

"I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt."
May 3 2012 3:49PM
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Boooshank
Posts: 1650 - Karma: 160
More than happy to provide a quick giggle.

I laughed my ass off at em.

So dam funny.
May 3 2012 4:17PM
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AcidKneeDrop
Posts: 890 - Karma: 279
Dude i once tried this... put hair removal on my balls and shaft, and i know the pain those guys are feeling it is like nothing you can possibly imagine. Chemikals on your balls is the most painful thing it just fucking burns the skin off, brutal
May 3 2012 4:24PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Anyone else read the one about the dude with the three sums? Entire time I am waiting for him to talk about his the product... he does eventually hahaha
May 3 2012 4:26PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Quality find
May 3 2012 6:11PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
I just want to reiterate how very much I love this thread
May 7 2012 1:00PM
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Nufity
Posts: 993 - Karma: 171

more

More

MORE

MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

May 7 2012 2:34PM
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Boooshank
Posts: 1650 - Karma: 160
^^


A little bit weird, but chuckling never the less.
May 8 2012 12:48AM
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