Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Autoerotic Skiing

«
1
2
»
»»

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

So today I'm just minding my business steezin down a catwalk, when I see this kid in a shmedium green jacket with one arm not in the sleeve. I pass him, and I'm almost 100% sure he was jerkin it under his little green shmedium jacket. I look back, and all I see is something going up and down in his jacket/pants. He was just strokin it like it was nothing while skiing in the middle of a catwalk. I'm kinda disturbed. I'm not sure if it's a common thing, but spankin the monkey while skiin seems kinda fucked up. Just thought I'd share my experience.

Mar 24 2012 8:13PM

0 0

Posts: 1296 - Karma: 85

Karma: 85

Posts: 1296

Insane

wait that wasn't you?

Apr 5 2012 11:53PM

0 0

Posts: 1651 - Karma: 572

Karma: 572

Posts: 1651

Insane

thats fucking weird

Apr 5 2012 11:59PM

0 0

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

that was a different time darsh

Apr 6 2012 12:37AM

0 0

Flying~Squirrel

Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192

Karma: 192

Posts: 6494

No Life

id be lying if i said ive never done it before

Apr 6 2012 1:10AM

0 0

Posts: 10263 - Karma: 218

Karma: 218

Posts: 10263

Crazy Fool

TOM WALISH

Apr 6 2012 1:24AM

0 0

Posts: 8137 - Karma: 24,354

Karma: 24,354

Posts: 8137

Crazy Fool

.

Apr 6 2012 1:26AM

0 0

Posts: 1296 - Karma: 85

Karma: 85

Posts: 1296

Insane

I hear the proper term for whacking it on the snow is "gripping the poma" not sure though?

Apr 6 2012 1:29AM

0 0

Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357

Karma: 1,357

Posts: 1996

Insane

danger wank.

Apr 6 2012 1:31AM

0 0

Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192

Karma: -192

Posts: 3295

Addict

danger wank indeed

Apr 6 2012 3:18AM

0 0

midwestpowhunter

Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189

Karma: 189

Posts: 2198

Addict

Op is testing the waters for his own jerk session

Apr 7 2012 9:57AM

0 0

Posts: 233 - Karma: 30

Karma: 30

Posts: 233

Loner

haha this is actually legit?

Apr 7 2012 10:26AM

0 0

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

now its a thread

Apr 7 2012 1:12PM

0 0

Dr.Newschoolers

Posts: 1357 - Karma: 508

Karma: 508

Posts: 1357

Insane

no because they can't even spell Wallisch correctly

Apr 7 2012 1:15PM

0 0

Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409

Karma: 13,409

Posts: 8650

Crazy Fool

you didnt know that if you grip your dick, you can use it like a joystick to ski? Basic life hax guise......

Apr 7 2012 1:42PM

0 0

Posts: 1129 - Karma: 220

Karma: 220

Posts: 1129

Insane

I thought there was gonna be a plot twist and he really just didn't have an arm.

Apr 7 2012 1:46PM

0 0

Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114

Karma: 1,114

Posts: 1757

Insane

Crashing with a hard on would be so horrific I don't even want to think about it.

Apr 7 2012 2:02PM

0 0

Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,100

Karma: 7,100

Posts: 10596

Crazy Fool

i found a cheatcode

press the head twice, jerk up and pull forward to boost

Apr 7 2012 2:03PM

0 0

Posts: 3531 - Karma: 5,850

Karma: 5,850

Posts: 3531

Addict

I'm not sure i like this kinda of progression in skiing.. I was somewhat alright with triples and future spins from rails but not sure about this whole masturbation thing.

Apr 7 2012 6:24PM

0 0

Posts: 445 - Karma: 113

Karma: 113

Posts: 445

Ridiculous

check your meter

Apr 7 2012 6:42PM

0 0

Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289

Karma: 1,289

Posts: 4616

No Life

This is on my list now.

Think about it, cuming mid air, nirvana!

Apr 7 2012 7:52PM

0 0

Posts: 1399 - Karma: 95

Karma: 95

Posts: 1399

Insane

hahah pretty sure he was just fucking with u

Apr 8 2012 10:21AM

0 0

Posts: 5319 - Karma: 21,403

Karma: 21,403

Posts: 5319

No Life

So I'm cruising down this catwalk jerking my shit, and some fucking no steeze gaper comes by and just starts watching. At one point I'm sure he licked his lips and mouthed something that wasn't appropriate. Don't you hate it when people do this? Just move along, I'll be done quick. just ask my girlfriend.

Apr 8 2012 12:30PM

0 0

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

Mega lost

Apr 8 2012 12:40PM

0 0

Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,656

Karma: 25,656

Posts: 13918

Crazy Fool

well, you're a party pooper.

Apr 8 2012 12:47PM

0 0

Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072

Karma: 2,072

Posts: 2387

Addict

Yeah, it's no big deal really. That kid's an ameteur though... taking care of businness is best done skiing switch so u don't get that draft.

Apr 8 2012 1:00PM

0 0

Posts: 2082 - Karma: 451

Karma: 451

Posts: 2082

Addict

this thread delivered.

Apr 8 2012 1:03PM

0 0

RoofDaRoofieDogg

Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989

Karma: 1,989

Posts: 3090

Addict

Were there a lot of visible rocks? If there were, it was probably ECB.

Apr 8 2012 2:35PM

0 0

RoofDaRoofieDogg

Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989

Karma: 1,989

Posts: 3090

Addict

was* fuck my grammer

Apr 8 2012 2:35PM

0 0

Posts: 10263 - Karma: 218

Karma: 218

Posts: 10263

Crazy Fool

lolz

Apr 8 2012 2:40PM

0 0

Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409

Karma: 13,409

Posts: 8650

Crazy Fool

Face shot!!! OH GOD THIS AIN'T SNOW!

Apr 8 2012 2:58PM

0 0

Posts: 898 - Karma: 62

Karma: 62

Posts: 898

Insane

Danger waaaaaank

Apr 8 2012 3:26PM

0 0

Posts: 1296 - Karma: 85

Karma: 85

Posts: 1296

Insane

Maybe penises are more ergenomic than pole grips.

Apr 8 2012 6:12PM

0 0

Posts: 1399 - Karma: 95

Karma: 95

Posts: 1399

Insane

HAHAHAH

Apr 8 2012 6:27PM

0 0

Posts: 2456 - Karma: 96

Karma: 96

Posts: 2456

Addict

It might improve waterproofing. Some of those old G-Suits could seriously use it

Apr 8 2012 7:43PM

0 0

Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,254

Karma: 1,254

Posts: 2255

Addict

that'd be somewhat uncomfortable to ski with after you finish.

Apr 8 2012 8:13PM

0 0

Posts: 620 - Karma: 401

Karma: 401

Posts: 620

Ridiculous

Haha this!

Apr 8 2012 8:25PM

0 0

Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012

Karma: 13,012

Posts: 23796

@th1337

incredible

Apr 8 2012 8:29PM

0 0

Posts: 1757 - Karma: 2

Karma: 2

Posts: 1757

Insane

He's clearly trying to show his superiority over you. I'm very sorry to see you did not react to this at the time. If/when this incident happens to me, I'll be sure to tuck past the aggressor full speed, drop my pants and lay down a hot steamer in his path.

Apr 9 2012 1:04AM

0 0

Posts: 927 - Karma: 96

Karma: 96

Posts: 927

Insane

I heard that's gonna be the controller setup for jiblife.

Apr 9 2012 1:17AM

0 0

Posts: 2471 - Karma: 489

Karma: 489

Posts: 2471

Addict

how many gnar points is that?

Apr 9 2012 1:26AM

0 0

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

I guess I wasn't thinking on my toes

Apr 9 2012 10:19AM

0 0

Posts: 187 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 187

Pro

I meant to quote that

Apr 9 2012 10:20AM

0 0

Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895

Karma: 895

Posts: 11943

Crazy Fool

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha afterbang?

Apr 9 2012 10:21AM

0 0

Posts: 324 - Karma: 22

Karma: 22

Posts: 324

Loner

i lost

Apr 9 2012 10:22AM

0 0

Posts: 1657 - Karma: 553

Karma: 553

Posts: 1657

Insane

i touched my first boobie on a charlift

Apr 9 2012 10:33AM

0 0

Posts: 780 - Karma: 664

Karma: 664

Posts: 780

Ridiculous

ha ha, automatic win!

Apr 9 2012 10:35AM

0 0

Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357

Karma: 1,357

Posts: 1996

Insane

lol thats awesome if true

Apr 9 2012 11:09AM

0 0

Posts: 1296 - Karma: 85

Karma: 85

Posts: 1296

Insane

GO DIEGO GO!

Apr 9 2012 12:30PM

0 0

Posts: 94 - Karma: 26

Karma: 26

Posts: 94

Wannabe

just lost sooo hard....

Apr 9 2012 4:03PM

0 0

Posts: 1296 - Karma: 85

Karma: 85

Posts: 1296

Insane

was this before or after specialists discovered that the crotch of your snowpants was 7 inches above the bottom of your jacket?

Apr 9 2012 11:15PM

0 0

All times are Eastern (-4)

«
1
2
»
»»